watch The Dumpster - A Short Comedy

[Skreamings]

I guess since Gary liked your short I shouldn't, but I do. I really liked it. Aside from the 180degree stuff that was pointed out on the original thread I thought it was great. Even those little things didn't detract from the great dialogue and acting. Nicely done. It was fun.

What I don't get are comments like "I wouldn't change a thing." Gary don't you get that these things are done. We aren't planning on changing anything. At best we might take comments and try for something different next time, so telling us to go back and change shit is ridiculous.

 

[joey1320]

Say, if you're Latino I don't know why you didn't like the DIVA.

Didn't I get the Latinos right?

I know there's a huge difference between Mexicans and PRs (I'm from New York), but I thought I got the Latino flavor down cold.

I actually said I could see Diva being a funny skit if some of the writing is reworked and stuff is changed. Your spanish was off for the most part and I understand why since you don't know the language. Since you are in NY, you should be able to find someone to redo the spanish the right way.

I think Diva was just a bit too "educated" for the story you wanted to tell. Sorry if that's the best description I can give you but I'm working on 5 things at work and typing on my droid at the same time.

Heres what I will do, I will redo Diva just for shits and giggles and post it here this weekend.
How does that sound?

 

[garylloyd]

Awesome job Vegas. Suburban was spectacular. There was a lot of detail, from body language to gestures. You got a great eye. It was hilarious. I loved the wife. I was keeling over.

And the ADR on the Sitdown isn't so horrible. It's better than the in camera sound I go with when my audio fails.

Great job buddy. Great job indeed!!

Right.

The wife was a nice touch.

Lesser filmmakers would have given her dialog but that wouldn't have had the comedic efffect of her facial expressions and silence.

Perfectly cast and dressed too.

 

[garylloyd]

I actually said I could see Diva being a funny skit if some of the writing is reworked and stuff is changed. Your spanish was off for the most part and I understand why since you don't know the language. Since you are in NY, you should be able to find someone to redo the spanish the right way.

I think Diva was just a bit too "educated" for the story you wanted to tell. Sorry if that's the best description I can give you but I'm working on 5 things at work and typing on my droid at the same time.

Heres what I will do, I will redo Diva just for shits and giggles and post it here this weekend.
How does that sound?

Heavens no!

I'm 100% happy with it. I just couldn't understand why you didn't appreciate the work I went to get the Mexican characters right.

They're all 110% on the money but it seems you're not getting that.

 

[garylloyd]

I guess since Gary liked your short I shouldn't, but I do. I really liked it. Aside from the 180degree stuff that was pointed out on the original thread I thought it was great. Even those little things didn't detract from the great dialogue and acting. Nicely done. It was fun.

What I don't get are comments like "I wouldn't change a thing." Gary don't you get that these things are done. We aren't planning on changing anything. At best we might take comments and try for something different next time, so telling us to go back and change shit is ridiculous.

Did someone actually say something negative about it in the original thread?

I can't begin to imagine what that might have been.

What was it?

 

[trueindie]

At best we might take comments and try for something different next time, so telling us to go back and change shit is ridiculous.

He won't say those things once he makes his first film

 

[joey1320]

Heavens no!

I'm 100% happy with it. I just couldn't understand why you didn't appreciate the work I went to get the Mexican characters right.

They're all 110% on the money but it seems you're not getting that.

I don't understand how the characters were 110% correct, when even the language was wrong. Also if Sergio is "euro trash" as Paloma described him, then he is not Mexican but rather Spanish. So in other words, the maid is Mexican, therefore she is automatically 110% true to the characteristic of the race? Plus the characters didnt do anything that made the ethnicity stand out.

Maria didn't cook classic Mexican dishes, she didn't sing any classic mexican songs, she wasnt dress in ethnic attire, etc. And neither was Sergio nor Luis... So other than names and a horrid spanish language, you didn't get them right...

And I will do as you ask and not redo the script. I totally respect your desire to keep it unique to you.

 

[garylloyd]

Are you really incapable of doing anything yourself?

Ok, fine. I'm a woman, I have a maternal instinct. Here's the link, but you're going to have to learn to chop your own steak sometime, if you want to be a big boy.

http://www.sammigirl.com/santa/StockholmSanta.pdf

It works.

Nothing spectacular, but it works.

Dialog is short and crisp. Characterizations are on point. Plotline moves along at a fast clip with obligatory surprises here and there. Adults would find it moderately entertaining. Kids, however, would find it fascinating because of how it places their favorite make-believe character, Santa, in a real-world adult situation -- albeit a strange one.

But ... it has no moral at the end so it doesn't fit a kid's story model.

 

[garylloyd]

I don't understand how the characters were 110% correct, when even the language was wrong. Also if Sergio is "euro trash" as Paloma described him, then he is not Mexican but rather Spanish. So in other words, the maid is Mexican, therefore she is automatically 110% true to the characteristic of the race? Plus the characters didnt do anything that made the ethnicity stand out.

Maria didn't cook classic Mexican dishes, she didn't sing any classic mexican songs, she wasnt dress in ethnic attire, etc. And neither was Sergio nor Luis... So other than names and a horrid spanish language, you didn't get them right...

And I will do as you ask and not redo the script. I totally respect your desire to keep it unique to you.

Look, Paloma, isn't the the brightest person in the world so "Euro-Trash" is just idle chatter.

What I meant was the exchange between the Maria and Sergio. It was absurd of course but even when something is absurd it must have an element of truth. What I'm saying is, if something like this actually happened the exchange between Maria and Sergio would be a good approximation.

Those other things you talk about are thoroughly out of context here.

Maria is a young Mexican maid. I believe I captured that in her dialog and attitude. Likewise, I think I nail her boyfriend and Sergio.

I don't see Latinos in the audience saying, "No, no, no -- the screenwriter got it all wrong -- that's not how Mexicans act, talk, or think!"

Do you?

 

[dlevanchuk]

Hey garylloyd, you give pretty harsh and detailed critiques over here.. Are you industry professional? If you re a writer - has your script been sold to the studios?
I think I ll speak for everyone by asking your background in film industry.
Just curious

 

[joey1320]

Look, Paloma, isn't the the brightest person in the world so "Euro-Trash" is just idle chatter.

What I meant was the exchange between the Maria and Sergio. It was absurd of course but even when something is absurd it must have an element of truth. What I'm saying is, if something like this actually happened the exchange between Maria and Sergio would be a good approximation.

Those other things you talk about are thoroughly out of context here.

Maria is a young Mexican maid. I believe I captured that in her dialog and attitude. Likewise, I think I nail her boyfriend and Sergio.

I don't see Latinos in the audience saying, "No, no, no -- the screenwriter got it all wrong -- that's not how Mexicans act, talk, or think!"

Do you?

You don't think I get it and I don't think you do, and we will go back and forth 'till the end of days.
I think that's my queue to stop posting on the thread. It was fun while it lasted, thanks for the laughs everyone.

 

[garylloyd]

Hey garylloyd, you give pretty harsh and detailed critiques over here.. Are you industry professional? If you re a writer - has your script been sold to the studios?
I think I ll speak for everyone by asking your background in film industry.
Just curious

Everyone has pretty much acknowledged my breakdown of The Dumpster was on the money. If you want to have your short Mollycoddled there are plenty people here who'll do that. Show it to me and I'm not going to pull any punches.

No background in the industry whatsoever, just a guy who's been punching out screenplays for about 10 years while studying the craft.

I pitched a distribution company my opus "Nazi Baby Mamas of Harlem" and got an email back saying they'd take a look at it once it was competed so I went out and bought $3000 worth of equipment -- Lumix, Zoom 4n, U-Flycam, etc, and will be winging it on my own.

It won't be as polished as The Dumpster or Suburban Romance because I don't have the crew or equipment they have. It will be a lot of fun though -- people who see it will have a good time.

Just got my U-Flycam today and have been running around like a maniac with it.

I'll be posting funny clips directly.

 

[Denny Denning]

From a non film makers point of view. I found The Dumpster entertaining. Wasn't on my list of all time best shorts, but none the less, kept my interest till the very end.

 

[Skreamings]

Everyone has pretty much acknowledged my breakdown of The Dumpster was on the money.

Hardly. You are the most delusional person I have ever run across. If you look back through the thread or even to the post just before mine you see that most of the people enjoyed the film.

I'm really looking forward to seeing some of those clips though. Should be good for a laugh.

 

[dlevanchuk]

Oh haha so you re just another wanna-be with expensive gear I though you were somewhat experienced with successful results to back your self proclaimed greatness up..

Good luck on your learning curve.

And quit trolling.

 

[trueindie]

Everyone has pretty much acknowledged my breakdown of The Dumpster was on the money.

I haven't been following this thread all that closely, but I definitely didn't get the impression that people thought your 'breakdown' was of any use.

To you the music was wrong, to me the music was there for comedic effect, and works just fine. How're you going to prove that you're right, if it works for me?

If you want to have your short Mollycoddled there are plenty people here who'll do that.

It's not about mollycoddling. It's about perspective. If Spielberg tells Skreamings that his work sucks, I might shut up. But even then, Spielberg better fund his film before he tells Skreamings that he could have used those funds better. But if YOU or I tell skreamings that his works sucks, it doesn't really mean anything. You can get your internet post kick out of it, but it means absolutely nothing.

If you want to be constructive, you could tell him how it made you feel as a viewer and what worked for you and what didn't and he'll take it into consideration next time he makes a movie. That's about all you can do. Nobody is really looking for a breakdown. Skreamings can break it down himself. He made the bloody film.

 

[garylloyd]

I haven't been following this thread all that closely, but I definitely didn't get the impression that people thought your 'breakdown' was of any use.

To you the music was wrong, to me the music was there for comedic effect, and works just fine. How're you going to prove that you're right, if it works for me?




It's not about mollycoddling. It's about perspective. If Spielberg tells Skreamings that his work sucks, I might shut up. But even then, Spielberg better fund his film before he tells Skreamings that he could have used those funds better. But if YOU or I tell skreamings that his works sucks, it doesn't really mean anything. You can get your internet post kick out of it, but it means absolutely nothing.

If you want to be constructive, you could tell him how it made you feel as a viewer and what worked for you and what didn't and he'll take it into consideration next time he makes a movie. That's about all you can do. Nobody is really looking for a breakdown. Skreamings can break it down himself. He made the bloody film.

I did that.

I posted the longest critique of his film he's ever got. Go back in the thread and you'll find it.

And you ARE mollycoddling him if all you're saying is you enjoyed it. That's as useless as tits on a boar.

Take the effort to break it down the way I did --- or barring that, shut da fuk up when somebody else takes that effort.

You people kill me with your "I enjoyed it" critiques. This is not a forum, not a mutual admiration society.

 

[garylloyd]

You don't think I get it and I don't think you do, and we will go back and forth 'till the end of days.
I think that's my queue to stop posting on the thread. It was fun while it lasted, thanks for the laughs everyone.

What is it with you?

I ask you a question and you go off on a tangent.

 

[dlevanchuk]

I did that.

I posted the longest critique of his film he's ever got.

Take the effort to break it down the way I did --- or barring that, shut da fuk up when somebody else takes that effort.

You people kill me with your "I enjoyed it" critiques. This is not a forum, not a mutual admiration society.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHKKldt6Mss


I think we're pretty much done in this thread

 

[wheatgrinder]

Im waiting for someone to post the "You can do anything" SNL skit from last week.

(can only find this crappy version to embed)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM73_-y41yE


Gary, can you see the ironic humor in your comments about "mollycoddling" others and your own unearned confidence? Why do you think your know about writing? How much money have your earned? Where are your laurels, your awards, your scholarships? I'm not saying these things make great writers, but without them, the only proof of greatness is in your own mind.

Working at it for 10 years doesn't mean anything to me. Iv been playing guitar for close to 30 years and I still stink in any REAL comparison to pros, though I have been a paid performing musician for many years of my younger life.

Arguing that you have something that is 110% perfect in writing is insane. In ANY art, failure to communicate the desire emotion at the desired intensity, is the fault of the artist, not the viewer\reader. Instead of defending your greatness, you should be actively seeking greater understanding of your own failure.