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watch Thought Provoking New Short Film

The short was from from thought provoking. It could be due to me being in the U.S where we all a kinds of fucked up consequences for some dumb shit.
I did like the most of the cam work there were times when it was to shaky.
 
Well put together short, amazing use of music. Acting was quite good. How did you get a jail to shoot in (sorry, they prefer we say film rather than shoot).
 
Feedback

Thanks for the feedback.

The film commissioned by the National Offender Management Service.

The music was original by Leeds musician Philip Cockerham.

The idea behind the film was to raise public awareness regarding repeat, low level offenders. You could say individuals who are institutionalised.

The instant reaction by most would be 'lock them up and throw away the key' but what happens when prison isn't a deterrent, when another 9 month stretch is more of a safe haven than punishment.

I hope the film offers an insight into the mind set of the protagonist. I discussed the shooting with the DOP and we agreed that a spacious, relaxed feel would work for the interior prison scenes, whereas a claustrophobic, edgy, grey sky look might work better for the outside shots.

This is my first ever project as a writer / director. I'm predominantly an author / playwright. I've never been to film school and have no expoerience, but I hope the script and vision gave the project a true purpose.

Best Wishes

Dan Wagstaffe (www.danwagstaffe.co.uk)
 
The inside/outside dichotomy worked quite well... nicely done, it made the prison look very comfy comparatively... I could even have seen going farther with the outside "feel" toward more cracked walls/older building clutter etc.
 
This worked, it was shot well, the audio was great. I can't help but feel as though it would have benefited from being cut a little finer.

A grand watch nevertheless.
 
Cheers

Thanks for the continued feedback ...

Yes, I think with any project there's always bits that could be further improved.

Out of interest, which bits, do you feel could have been made tighter?

The music and audio were done by very experienced people, for example 'I Know Things About You' is an original track by Philip Cockerham and hasn't yet been released.

We had a very tight shooting schedule - 3 days, plus atrocious weather conditions, so we were up against the elements.

I'm a big fan of showing a film through atmosphere and the idea was to get a real feel for the world of the protagonist, a world most people will never visit.

Prison is only punishment if an individual finds the experience unsettling.

Anyway, thanks for all your generous comments.

The film will hit the festivals in UK / Europe / Worldwide starting in the next month.
 
I liked it! Very professionally done! Good job!

Wow, I thought it was Eminem for 30 seconds.

What does he say at 3:39?

FX out of sync at 4:28

Can't hear what he says at 4:40

I'd make the cell more contrasty in the mix. Bigger ambiences, more happening with sound when he is outside and almost silent inside.

I hate how the piano is mono at 7:20. Never record a piano in mono!

Ambience is interior perspective at 9:00?

I could get way more detailed with mix critiques and all that and I don't want to get nit-picky. How much experience did they have? Was a lot of money spent on audio? If there was, we'd have problems.

I liked it overall. I didn't really get the message though. Maybe I missed something?

I didn't get what it's about..
 
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Hi ROC,

I really appreciate the feedback, thanks very much. It was my first short film so I tried to assemble a group of people who'd do the project justice, pardon the pun.

3.39 - 'Cushdy' - This means comfortable, it's a saying amongst uneducated people in Yorkshire, England.

4.40 - 'Carl, what time do you call this?' - This was deliberately vague. The dialogue wasn't in the originakl script, but the extra wanted to speak authentic language to get into the required mind set.

The film is to raise public awareness about the plight of repeat, low level offenders in the British criminal justice system. Prison isn't a deterrent for many of these offenders, so the film aims to show what life would be like for an offender who isn't sent to prison, but instead is sentenced to give something back to society instead of lying in bed all day in a prison cell.

The budget for the film was small. When you say mixing, do you mean the editing? Or the work carried out by the sound effects guy?

Thanks again for the interest.

Dan Wagstaffe
 
The sound recordist was a guy called Michael Brown who was brought onboard by the DOP as part of the crew. Admittedly, the sound recordist's kit / battery kept failing during the shoot so I'm not sure if this played a part. The sound effects were done by Thomas Cockerham, but that was Foley, the urinating, alarm clock, voice over etc and the music was done before by an independent local musician by the name of Philip Cockerham. The mixing was also down by the Editor.

It was my first crack at making a short so I'm not fully up to speed on the jargon etc, but I really appreciate your feedback.

Cheers

Dan
 
Well, kudos to you and great job on completing your first short.

Hope you do more and we can see more of your work in the future.
 
I liked your short a lot Dan. It was shot very well. Did you write the dialogue for the actor, or did he improvise it all?

Regardless, job well done for being shot in 3 days and edited in 9.
 
Thanks. I appreciate the comments. Is that a decent turnaround then? 3 day shoot and edited in 9 days? I just like to work fast, keep up momentum. Yes, I wrote the script. Originally I wrote a draft called Bang Up based in a prison cell, then I wrote another draft called Pay Back, looking at an alternative storyline.

I decided to amalgamate the two ideas and shortened it to ten pages to keep it lean. The film is about to enter the festival circuit in UK and abroad.

Cheers

Dan
 
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