Great ideas, guys! It is, currently, straight presentation of the concept (no real twists or turns).
Thanks to all of your input, I think I see my way to expand this into a snappy little low-budget feature. Open with the current scene (revised, of course), then move on to a second victim who, it turns out, was a friend of Jason's, suspects what happened, and thinks he can outwit her...
Of course then I'd have to explain to the person I've written this for that she's going to have to do her first feature. I'll pitch it like this: "A 90 minute feature is only 9 times longer than the short. 9 times the current budget (zero $) is STILL only zero $!"
Love the freezer! Would a refrigerator/freezer accommodate a processed human carcass, though? And would a cabin likely have a deep-freezer? I suppose I could have her selling the excess under the table to the local tavern for hamburger?
VP, I intended it to be past-tense. If I were to say "The table is set..." I felt it would imply simultaneous action, i.e., someone is in the process of setting the table. I wanted it understood that it had been set in the past, before the scene opens. I suppose if I wanted to imply current action, I would say "The table is being set..." and, normally, that would be the case. But in the present-tense of the script format, it's too confusing to assume it would be understood, imo.
You guys are the best!
muchos gracias, amigos
-C