Hey again!
So there's this contest that I really want to enter for short films, where the winner of each category (drama, comedy, action, music video, documentary) gets $10,000 and the overall winner gets $50,000. Pretty sweet, right? Well it's pretty much open to make whatever you want, except the piece has to be under 3 minutes. Now, I'm used to writing/directing shorts that are 10+ minutes... so trying to come up with a full arc in under three minutes is seeming pretty difficult, but I came up with this idea yesterday.
IDEA #1: A modern adaptation of the Greek Myth "Narcissus and Echo". It would be an omniscient narrator telling the story of a baby, who's parents found him so repulsive as a child that they removed all mirrors and reflective objects from his home so he would never have to see his own face. His parents die when he is 8, so he vows to keep their wish: for him to never seem himself.
However, as he grows up, he becomes incredibly handsome and is constantly showered with compliments, making him extremely overly confident in himself. Everyday he goes to a Coffee Shop and reads for exactly one hour, and afterward rides his bike to a park, which he walks around four times before leaving. At the coffee shop, girls come up to him every day and ask him out, but every day he rejects them (in really harsh ways).
There is one girl whom has been watching him for over a year, admiring from a distance (borderline stalking). One day she finally builds up the courage to talk to him, she finally does and gives this long, pathetic speech about how much she wants him. He rejects her terribly (Honestly, I would rather die than ever go out with you).
He goes on his normal walk, at which point he is followed by an extremely angry Echo. Echo decides to get back at him and calls his name across the pond at the park from behind bushes. He hears his name, and goes toward the voice. He is stopped when he sees water, at which point he sees his own reflection and falls in love with what he sees (as the narrator says: "Finally, Narcissus had discovered someone who was worthy of his affection." So when he goes to touch, it disappears. So he vows to not try and touch again, but to not go, because he just wants to be next to a being so beautiful. And it ends with him staring at his own reflection in a timelapse.
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I think I can cut this under three minutes. When I did a normal speed readthrough of everything, it came out to like, 3:30, so if I cut some of the backstory, it should work.
ANY sort of suggestion/idea to make it better would be fantastic. And if you don't think it would work, by all means let me know! I'm sure I can still come up with another idea.
So there's this contest that I really want to enter for short films, where the winner of each category (drama, comedy, action, music video, documentary) gets $10,000 and the overall winner gets $50,000. Pretty sweet, right? Well it's pretty much open to make whatever you want, except the piece has to be under 3 minutes. Now, I'm used to writing/directing shorts that are 10+ minutes... so trying to come up with a full arc in under three minutes is seeming pretty difficult, but I came up with this idea yesterday.
IDEA #1: A modern adaptation of the Greek Myth "Narcissus and Echo". It would be an omniscient narrator telling the story of a baby, who's parents found him so repulsive as a child that they removed all mirrors and reflective objects from his home so he would never have to see his own face. His parents die when he is 8, so he vows to keep their wish: for him to never seem himself.
However, as he grows up, he becomes incredibly handsome and is constantly showered with compliments, making him extremely overly confident in himself. Everyday he goes to a Coffee Shop and reads for exactly one hour, and afterward rides his bike to a park, which he walks around four times before leaving. At the coffee shop, girls come up to him every day and ask him out, but every day he rejects them (in really harsh ways).
There is one girl whom has been watching him for over a year, admiring from a distance (borderline stalking). One day she finally builds up the courage to talk to him, she finally does and gives this long, pathetic speech about how much she wants him. He rejects her terribly (Honestly, I would rather die than ever go out with you).
He goes on his normal walk, at which point he is followed by an extremely angry Echo. Echo decides to get back at him and calls his name across the pond at the park from behind bushes. He hears his name, and goes toward the voice. He is stopped when he sees water, at which point he sees his own reflection and falls in love with what he sees (as the narrator says: "Finally, Narcissus had discovered someone who was worthy of his affection." So when he goes to touch, it disappears. So he vows to not try and touch again, but to not go, because he just wants to be next to a being so beautiful. And it ends with him staring at his own reflection in a timelapse.
____________________________________
I think I can cut this under three minutes. When I did a normal speed readthrough of everything, it came out to like, 3:30, so if I cut some of the backstory, it should work.
ANY sort of suggestion/idea to make it better would be fantastic. And if you don't think it would work, by all means let me know! I'm sure I can still come up with another idea.