What I learned from The Human Centipede (spoilers)

2001 Productions

2001 Productions

After hearing that this film did well at Screamfest I rented it this weekend. It was an eye-opener!

I've prepared this short quiz on proper behavior for horror movie characters, as exemplified by The Human Centipede:

1. You are a pair of young women driving to a party. Your rental car has suffered a flat tire somewhere in the countryside. There is no cellular phone service available. Do you...

a) Search the glove compartment for instructions on how to change the tire?
b) Flag down another car for assistance or a lift?
c) Start hiking through the woods (not down the road) in a mini-skirt and high heels in the middle of the night in the pouring rain?

2. A mad scientist has kidnapped you and tied your wrists to the gates of a hospital bed. Do you...

a) Take the first opportunity to untie yourself using your teeth?
b) Wait until the mad scientist has gone, then untie yourself using your teeth and escape?
c) Lie in the bed screaming for a day or two; then, when the mad scientist is standing right there, frantically untie yourself using your teeth?

3. You've untied yourself from the bed. The mad scientist is standing there with his back to you. Do you...

a) Attack him before he realizes you've escaped?
b) Get away and search for a weapon of some kind?
c) Run into the mad scientist's bedroom, hide behind the bed, and ask him "pretty please" not to hurt you?

4. You think you've tricked the mad scientist into believing you're dead. Do you...

a) Search quietly for a telephone or some means of escape?
b) Sneak into the kitchen in search of a knife or other weapon?
c) Stumble around, whimpering and crying and generally making as much noise as possible, and return to the mad scientist's laboratory while he's still in the house?

5. You're the mad scientist. One of your captives has escaped and is stumbling noisily through the house. Do you...

a) Render her unconscious and return her to the laboratory?
b) Wait until she returns to the laboratory herself to rescue her friend, then render her unconscious?
c) Wait until she has freed her unconscious friend, dragged her up the stairs and outside the house, then render her unconscious, obliging you to lug both of them back inside and down the spiral staircase into the laboratory?

6. You're the mad scientist. Two policemen have arrived to question you about some missing persons. You've managed to administer a drug to one of them but the other isn't falling for it. Do you...

a) Shoot him with the tranquilizer gun that you've used several times throughout the movie?
b) Hit him with something when his back is turned?
c) Go to your laboratory and prepare a hypodermic syringe, which you accidentally drop on the floor right in front of the policeman?

7. You've managed to stab the mad scientist in the back of the leg with a scalpel. He has fallen to the floor, giving you the upper hand. Do you...

a) Use the scalpel to slit his throat, ensuring his death?
b) Use the scalpel to gouge out his eyes so he can't see to come after you?
c) Bite him really hard then crawl slowly out of the room, leaving him alive, pissed off, and with a scalpel readily at hand?

8. You've nearly broken through a window using a heavy, brass table lamp. The mad scientist - who can only crawl and is armed with a scalpel - has found you. Do you...

a) Finish breaking through the window and escape?
b) Use the lamp to beat the living snot out of the mad scientist?
c) Grab a shard of window glass and use it to slit your own throat?

9. You're a policeman searching the mad scientist's house. You hear gunshots and go searching for your partner, finding him dead in the swimming pool. Do you...

a) Call for backup, reporting "shots fired" and "officer down"?
b) Move cautiously through the doorway, checking corners in case the shooter is still lurking nearby?
c) Rush up to the edge of the pool and look down in shock at your dead partner, leaving yourself wide open to be shot too?

10. You're a filmmaker with a horror movie concept but poor storytelling skills. Do you...

a) Work with a skilled screenwriter to flesh out the concept in a coherent manner?
b) Watch a lot of horror movies and note what works and what doesn't?
c) Make the movie as utterly repulsive as possible and hope no one notices that every one of your characters is a complete moron?

:weird:

Well, how did you do? If you answered anything but "C" for any of the questions you either haven't seen The Human Centipede or you weren't paying attention.
 
No doubt a perfect example of what not do do when
making a horror movie. But what he had was a marketable
concept. A concept that quite shocked me and kept my
interest despite the horrible cliches. And one that kept
me thinking about it for weeks.

I saw it at ScreamFest and then bought it on DVD. I
kind of like it.

Did you happen to watch any of the docs on the DVD. It
was a surreal experience when the director kept talking about
his luck in finding such great actors willing to go so far. I almost
had to watch the film again to see if I could find any of the great
actors - I didn't remember seeing any in the movie.
 
:lol:

Great post, 2001!

I absolutely hated this movie, for all of the reasons you described. I don't care that it's disgusting; It offends me by treating me like an idiot.
 
directorik said:
Did you happen to watch any of the docs on the DVD. It
was a surreal experience when the director kept talking about
his luck in finding such great actors willing to go so far. I almost
had to watch the film again to see if I could find any of the great
actors - I didn't remember seeing any in the movie.
Click to expand...

Ha ha, yeah, I did watch the documentary and noted him gushing about the actors. I do have to admit that the mad scientist was well cast - maybe the creepiest looking guy since the late, great Julian Beck in Poltergeist 2 - but I doubt he could have hammed up his performance any more if he'd tried.

I tried to suspend disbelief for the sake of the concept, but when I'm reduced to shouting expletives at the screenwriter while watching the movie it makes it really difficult to go along. Just me.
 
Fantastic post!

Yeah, it just goes to show you how much cinematography, audio and acting can carry a picture.

If the story is rubbish... everything else is just wasted.
>$2M put to good use.
Not.

The premise was fine.
The details are some more of that "cinematic effect" being slathered on a wee thick.

I understand the director & producers were afraid of being denied viewings due to the content's nature so they deliberately went camp bordering on farce.

Now that the controversial groundwork has been laid, hopefully for THE FULL SEQUENCE they tighten up some of the foolishness.


That's some fine, quality sh!t, there.
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3752331033/
 
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It just occurred to me, what would Charlie Kaufman have done with this concept? And David Cronenberg directing?? Now there's a movie I'd like to see!
 
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I LOVED the doctor. he was totally over the top of course, but he basically made the movie.

This is a real throwback exploitation film., selling the sizzle, not the steak.
 
Last summer, I was at a music festival, quite drunk one night, asking everybody who walked past my tent if they'd like to star in my movie. I told them I was making a sequel to this movie called "The Human Millipede". Not many people agreed.


directorik said:
...what he had was a marketable
concept. A concept that quite shocked me and kept my
interest despite the horrible cliches...
Click to expand...

100% agree with this. At the time, the concept of this film was possibly the most rediculous thing I'd ever heard. That instantly put it onto my list of "one's to watch".

Still, it's only a mediocre film, but fairly enjoyable.
 
Damn it, now I don't know if I should avoid this film like the plague, or rush to see it. Right on, 2001, these are the sort of things that make so many horror films crap. And the thing seems to be everywhere...Best Buy, online... oi.
 
Surprised no one has offered the two word review for this film: sucked ass.

:D

While it did contain a lot of ass sucking, I don't think it was all suck ass. What struck me most about the film (which I saw at Screamfest) was the cinematography and editing and how they refrained from making it look like Hostel or SAW or any of those amped up, in-your-face, darkly lit films. Instead it was bright, clean, with slow, deliberate camera moves and straight-forward editing which, to me, made it all feel very real, along the lines of the remake "Funny Games."

Not the best film by far, but those choices made it stand out for me.
 
Flicker Pictures said:
sucked ass.
Click to expand...

:lol: That's very good, Flicker! Why didn't I think of that! :lol:

I would not tell anyone NOT to see this movie. The concept is nothing if not original. And, judging from the movies Hollywood distributors choose to embrace, concept is everything.

Admittedly I don't see a lot of horror movies; not because I don't like them but because so many are so poorly written. When something intrigues me - like Centipede - I give it a shot. It would have required so little to have been great...just disappointed me is all.

I am thankful that so many of you are forgiving of such blatant characterological incongruities, actually. I'm sure my new movie will have certain points where people might say, "Why doesn't he just [fill in the blank]?" Hopefully you'll be equally charitable toward those flaws. :D
 
I'm sure my new movie will have certain points where people might say, "Why doesn't he just [fill in the blank]?"
Click to expand...

This can be said for almost every horror film, right? "Why not just stay out of the water?" "Why go into the woods?" "Why didn't they just call the cops?" "Why didn't they take the main road instead of the dirt path?" "Why don't they just move out of the house?" Etc, etc, etc...

Answer: because if they did there wouldn't be a movie! Right? :D
 
Well, it is a movie about sewing people's mouths to another person's ass, so can you really try to make a horror film about that without making it campy at all, and having stupid actions from the characters?

Regardless, the plot was dumb, and the story wasn't well written, but if you're making a movie about three people connected through their anal tracks, would you really take it seriously if the centipede crawled off to freedom, or even more campy, it fought for it's freedom?
 
Without spoiling the ending for the three people who want to watch it and haven't already, I did appreciate that the whole movie seemed a set up for leaving a character in the worst possible situation at the end. A technique that worked well in Very Bad Things, one of my favorite black comedies.
 
richy said:
Damn it, now I don't know if I should avoid this film like the plague, or rush to see it.
Click to expand...

Just see it and temper your expectations with what you read in this thread. I've seen it, twice, then I bought the DVD. It's a guilty pleasure!

The good:

1) Dieter Laser was born to play this role; one of the best mad doctors, ever! I don't think any of the acting sucked; the actors, especially the Japanese guy, were spirited. There was some questionable writing which made for situations that make the actors' motivations look questionable - hence the "why the hell is she doing that?" syndrome.

2) As Flicker said, straight-forward camera work and editing; simple and elegant. Nothing in your face.

3) Good use of resources - shot mostly in one location, a house. Very few characters.

4) Rude concept, yet subtle display of it. I mean, my kids could watch this movie! Their mouths/butts are always covered. It's really tame, but had all the people talking about it. Like #2, there isn't much that gets in your face and I actually like it for not being too gimmicky.


Summing up: I think the doctor is a hoot. He's so over the top and I love hearing the Japanese guy yell at him. There are definitely holes in the movie - why didn't the Japanese guy use his hands to fight the doc? Instead, he bites his leg. How did the doc operate on the centipede in the basement and have them wake up in the upstairs living room? Later, when the cops arrive, the centipede is in the basement! When they try to escape, it seems they are climbing the spiral staircase for the first time.


That said, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2: THE FULL SEQUENCE is supposed to be full of the rude and gory things that the first movie lacks. Look out!
 
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Ha! Yeah, Mike, I wondered about the whole upstairs/downstairs thing myself, but chalked it up to artistic license since it didn't really take me out of the movie like the other stuff did. :lol:

JoshL said:
I did appreciate that the whole movie seemed a set up for leaving a character in the worst possible situation at the end.
Click to expand...

It seemed that way, but really it wasn't:

The police officers got a search warrant, which is sworn out for a specific residence. It will only be a matter of a few hours before they are missed, in which case the doctor's house is the first place they'll look for them. Once the bodies are discovered, the house will be immediately searched and the girl found and given emergency medical attention.
To me, the ending was nowhere near as ironic as the filmmaker probably intended.
 
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