want help with this story

[sikander]

Hi All,

this is some story written by my students please help me add some more ideas to it and how can i create more funny and scary sequences in it please help
plan chit
This is a story of 5 friends(A,B,C,D,E)studying in ELEVENTH STANDARD,They are playing a deadly game plan chit.But one of them does not believe in all these things(spirits,souls.etc)
One day four of the friends(B,C,D,E)decided to play the game Blind Chit to make their friend (A) believe in souls and spirits.The four friends set the plan Chit material in their room.The fifth friend arrives(A)in the room and is shocked to see all his friends and asks them as to why are they playig this game.the four friends tell him that they want him to believe in the souls n spitits and thus convince him to play this game.And he finally agrees to play the game.
all the friends start the game.The friends ask him (A) WHO SOUL DOES HE WISH TO CALL?THE OTHER FRIEND SAYS THAT HE WANTS TO CALL HIS MOTHER'S SOULS AS HE LOVES HER A LOT.THE FRIENDS THEN START THE PROCESS TO CALL BACK THE DEAD.BUT THEY ARE UNAWARE OF FACT THAT THE FRIENDS MOTHER IS STILL ALIVE.(A)SAID A LIE THAT HIS MOTHER WAS DEAD.AS THEY ARE ABOUT TO FINISH THE PROCESS,
SUDDENLY AT (A) HOME HIS MOTHER RUNS FROM THE KITCHEN SCREAMING FOR HER SON'S NAMEAND JUMPS FROM THE BALCONY AND DIES.
AT THE HOSTEL ROOM OTHER FRIEND GET A CALL FROM HIS HOME THAT HIS MOTHER IS DEAD AND HE GOES INTO A SHOCK STATE.AT THE END THE FRIENDS DECIDED THAT THEY WILL NOT PLAY THIS GAME AGAIN.THE BOY WHOSE MOTHER DIES HAS GONE IN SHOCK STATE.(MENTALLY ILL). so are the other friends

thanks,
regards,
sikander.

 

[Filman]

As they are about to leave it knocks on the door. Outside leans the evil spirit who claims he did force them to play this game... and now he will...

 

[Joker B]

trying to get a handle on this, are you saying that there's a link between belief in ghosts and catatonic mental illness?

comedy gold

 

[MagFilms]

Choice A - The dead mother goes around killing all the boys of the world who lie.

Choice B - The dead mother kills other boy's mothers

Choice C - The boy who's mother died kills other boy's mother

Choice D - The dead mother gives her son super killing power; other boys tries to kill him but die one after another and in the end the last one kill him.

or Choice D and A or any variation....

 

[Zensteve]

are you saying that there's a link between belief in ghosts and catatonic mental illness?

comedy gold

It's actually a fairly common plot device, or at least ending, used by hundreds of authors. Off the top of my head - Lovecroft, Robert E. Howard & Poe have all used the "saw supernatural being, then went mad" bit several times each.

The OP might be able to keep track of suggestions if keeping the same thread going, btw. I think this is the 3rd or 4th post for helping on this story.

 

[Joker B]

"saw supernatural being, then went mad"

You're right, I'd completely missed this obvious connection between Lovecraft and Pac-Man.

Another alternative:

darned meddling kids

 

[wheatgrinder]

flash forward 20 years.
The boy with the now dead mom, is an adult with a family of his own. His teenage daughter is having a sleepover, she and her friends start to play the same "chit" game. Dad walks in and..

Option A:
Dad goes psycho\slasher with no supernatural connection, the moms suicide is just a freaky coincidence...

Option B:
Dad freaks out, with out an explanation.. and embarrasses his daughter. Daughter plots revenge (she doesn't know about dads past) and fakes her own death as a "joke". Dad goes mental and tries to summon his daughters ghost via the "chit" game.. and, of course the daughter repeats her grandmothers act and kills her self..

Can you say Irony!

 

[barnaclelapse]

flash forward 20 years.
The boy with the now dead mom, is an adult with a family of his own. His teenage daughter is having a sleepover, she and her friends start to play the same "chit" game. Dad walks in and..

Option A:
Dad goes psycho\slasher with no supernatural connection, the moms suicide is just a freaky coincidence...

Option B:
Dad freaks out, with out an explanation.. and embarrasses his daughter. Daughter plots revenge (she doesn't know about dads past) and fakes her own death as a "joke". Dad goes mental and tries to summon his daughters ghost via the "chit" game.. and, of course the daughter repeats her grandmothers act and kills her self..

Can you say Irony!

I like option B.

I dunno. I guess you could have the boy somehow experience what his mother goes through when he calls her name.