its not bad for a first short. Reminds me of my first attempt to try and making my short film. it did turn out to be "experimental" as well haha
When i read your description "man wakes up.." i thought "let me guess, first shot is "man rolling out of bed and hitting alarm clock", but i was wrong! so thank you for that.
during your kitchen scene, why did u decide to use cut of man heating up water, then pouring a cup of tea.. those little cuts need to have a purpose. If i will take those cuts, and completely remove them from your video - you still will be able to go on with your story. USE THE CUTS THAT CONTRIBUE TO YOUR STORY. The rest of it is just slow paced fat.
Your multiple screen shots - i think understand that you wanted to make something different, show the state of confusion and desperation, but i dont think it really worked. The reason is because you reused your cuts. Why? why couldnt you use some other footage? First 5 seconds of this weird montage was kinda cool, after that it got a bit annoying.. second time you did it - i almost turned it off, for the reason is because i got bored. But kept watching.
Ending is good, and you do have a conclusion to your story. But it left lots of things unanswered. Who was the guy at the end? why did they begin to fight?
but if the viewer will get bored or annoyed by your movie, they ll simply turn it off, doesnt matter how good and funny your ending is.
Overral, it wasnt bad. Good camera work, thank you for using a tripod for most of the shots.
Those are my advices. im still kind of new in this whole filmmaking thing, but your video had some mistakes, that really reminded me of my first several vids, so just wanted to comment!
Now, time to make a new one