Great choreography, Graeme.
The timing of the sound FX was spot on, it just came across as a skosh too... crisp?
Hassle some of the audio pros around here on tailoring audio in editing to set into the scene with the greatest accuracy.
For me this stuff is like cooking: I can't cook but know funny tasting food when I eat it and haven't the slightest idea what's "off". I'd have to ask the chef.
Same thing on the audio.
You got the choreography, editing, and audio FX timing down pat. Just oughtta monkey with audio attributes to bring everything all the way together.
GL
Ray