Belated. I hadn't come across the thread, sorry, Dready.
From Nicks suggestions, and your response, It seems that i've come to similar conclusions, which isn't a problem.
Here it goes.
After reading it over a few times, and in knowing you're aim for the characters to take-on emotions far beyond their age, i could
see the medium. However, i tried to determine the mannerisms/dialogue from "Brad", from an un-informed perspective of a regular viewer. It wasn't solidified, for me. But, this opened up new arcs in the character, as is mentioned "Stewie Griffin", a well-spoken devil child, who still keeps those characteristics of youth amidst his elderly antics. And this for me, heightens those moments- and makes them very comical in doing so- when he flitters between the two, cursing Peter and reverting back to his adolescence watching a cheesy kids show in the next breath.
There are moments similar in your work, that i think could be heightened, could play on this factor. One in particular is the penultimate scene, when the Girl finally discovers Santa, her step-father who she was bitter in referring to earlier on. Where we are currently, is we've been shown that she too, alike Brad, is conveying the same adult-like personas. She's cavalier in what would be a stressful situation, held a conversation in an adult fashion. So now, maybe we see the other side of the coin. Perhaps in discovering Santa, she screams at him, as a daughter would, having just arrived home with a group of friends to find her father drunk on the sofa, leaving her horribly embarrassed. Maybe Mr.Clause retaliates, and it turns into a typical Father vs Daughter shouting match, ending with Santa cursing her (Now taking Santa Claus out of character) spilling secrets about what her Mother has said about her in confidence.
"Yeah, well, y'know that time we came to see you at your school play, i had to drive all the way fricken' out to the middle of East-Jesus-nowhere? Yeah? To see you see be a
tree. I mean
christ! A
tree, and you didn't even do that well, i could see your feet moving the whole time. Trees don't move, they have roots! They're rooted to the ground! Sure they sway, but oh no, you didn't sway..."
Something along these lines, would bridge the gap, i believe.
Anyway, it was a delightful read. Santa with a bloody lip...and you called
me Scrooge!