Rehashing a Short in post.

[NathanH]

Hey IT,

Got any lifesaving techniques for cutting a seemingly weak short film? heh...

It was my first narrative short, it was all shot in a single day (due to lack of funding from my University). The footage and a terrible rushed cut have been sat on my harddrive for a good few months.

I have good coverage, that was something i was familiar with after shooting music videos.

I have terrible dialogue, it's convincing but the story is completely lost. I was aiming far too high with my script.

Basically, i am trying to find a way of making the story a lot clearer. I was going for - ex husband kidnaps wife and child in a desperate attempt to save them from what he believes to be an impending apocalypse.

The dialogue doesn't really explain this, it is based on the premise that the wife broke up with her husband because she thought he was crazy, becoming obsessed with this internet cult of 'believers'. When the eve of d-day approaches, he kidnaps them and locks them in a bunker.

I have the footage of the kidnap, him taking them into a fallout shelter and tying them to chairs. I have a bunch of dialogue of 'please don't hurt us, i'll give you whatever you want' etc before the husband has revealed his voice or face. I have the reveal, which is convincing thanks to the response from the daughter 'dad?'. This is followed by the line 'why are you doing this?' and a response of 'isn't it obvious?'.

AFter this, it falls apart. I have no idea how to show the viewer what they are talking about, up until this point it feels like a typical kidnapping film, the plan was to show cutaways of supplies, gas masks, the husbands laptop etc. Turns out this isn't enough to get the point across. The next line is 'You mean, you actually did it?' which doesn't follow at the moment.

I can't do another shoot with the actors, this time has long passed. I am looking for an approach where i can portray the story with news clips or voice over. To cut to between the footage i have.

Does anyone have any experience with this sort of situation?

It feels like a bit of a dead end, if this is the case i will just release the first cut of the film, which was screened to a small audience but never uploaded to my portfolio. It's not my best, but better than nothing.

 

[PaulGriffith]

Hmmmm, could you make the story a little "bigger" and show a news cast talking about the cult believing the world ends tomorrow and they're taking shelter, etc... somewhere in there? Maybe in the beginning before any of it starts and toss on the same type of shirt the Dad is wearing and shoot a shot of grabbing the keys from in front of the tv and hear a door open and close?

An idea... hard to offer much without seeing what you already have cut or the script.

Lot's of stuff is save-able! There's a big question you need to ask yourself though and it may be a little hard to answer... How much time/money/effort is it worth to save. It may be worth tons and then go for it and schedule what ever extra shoots you can and pay for what needs to be paid for because it's worth it. It's a first effort and the main thing you're gaining from it anyway is invaluable education and experience (that you've already gotten) because almost no first efforts ever win awards or secure feature funding or anything. With that said, it might not qualify the expense to "save" it in your eyes so you just grit your teeth and make it the best you can with what you already have. Music can help sell ideas. Voiceovers can too.

I'm not saying at all that it's not worth a lot to try and save, I can't say that because I'm not in your shoes. You have to make the decision.

Good luck with it!

 

[dlevanchuk]

Maybe open the film with some apocalyptic relevant events, like riots, or weird global warming stuff, like its switching from channel to channel. ..

Why did he tie them to chairs though?

If your story makes little sense - fiddeling withing it in post would be nearly impossible to make something coherent.


buiild your house on a pile of sh1t foundament,and it will never stand straight and smell like roses. Confuci proverb.

 

[knightly]

Can we see the current cut?

 

[NathanH]

Thanks for the feedback, dlevanchuk makes a good point about using shi*t for a foundation. Paul, i like the idea of a few more sequential shots for the intro, it's something i'll certainly think about.

Been working on it a lot today, It was all planned to the best of my ability, in the first cut i have stock footage of riots in the intro sequence cut between the kidnapping/car shots. Funny you should mention it! The deadline for uni was tight so i did the best i could.

Going back to it now i can see where the flaws were, with almost fresh eyes. I've got a lot more time to work on it now so decided to start a new sequence with the current cut, it's shaping up and i'll be sure to post here when it's worth watching. Sorry knightly, i don't think i could live with myself if i uploaded the first cut.

I think the pressure of working to a deadline had a good deal to do with the shambles that was my first edit.

 

[Alcove Audio]

I'm guessing that hubby is deranged, and you need to get his obsession across.

Shoot new stuff with cops and/or a bunch of shrinks discussing his case, or a reporter researching the case through interviews, etc.

 

[knightly]

no worries Hard to give advice without seeing, you know?

 

[GuerrillaAngel]

I vote for voiceover. If you know you have crap, don't spend another dime on it and save that $$$ for your next project.

With your current project, you can create an entirely different film by writing VO and chopping up the dialogue scenes.

Good luck!