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watch Rain - Original 4 min Short By a 16 yr old

Q

Quiltom

So here's my first complete take at making a short with no budget at all Its all original and the script was hand crafted by me only , the music is also mine :D , I've made several shorts before , Learnt from the mistakes and will always look upon to improve my skills , So yeah Its been a while and I've been posting trailers of this movie which have faced criticism as well as appreciation , So here it is finally ! So go on guys watch this lil movie of mine , And I would say this short doesn't have a story , Like it isn't story based , More of a character driven mash up haha , Anyway so yeah criticism is always accepted , and c'mon guys ! comment + Share + Like ! Thanks :D
Special thanks to @Metal Renard for doing that awesome voice over which made this short work :D

So here's the link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahrH4R0pGXk&list=UU8S2qJKtr-LTpdmpQMI0c-Q&index=1&feature=plcp

NOTE: The actors aren't professional, its their first movie :L
 
Wow man, good job! I like the whole feel and you did really well with the music. You could have improved the mix (in the music itself and between the voice over and music) to really step it up a notch, but overall I enjoyed watching it and I found the atmosphere convincing.
I hope we can work together again in the future. :)
 
MetalRenard said:
Wow man, good job! I like the whole feel and you did really well with the music. You could have improved the mix (in the music itself and between the voice over and music) to really step it up a notch, but overall I enjoyed watching it and I found the atmosphere convincing.
I hope we can work together again in the future. :)
Click to expand...
Thanks a ton man ! Nice working with you too
 
You did a god job. A very good one considering your young age.

The main thing that concerned me was the distorsion on the camera. What did you shoot it with ?

Also, it looked a little too much dark. I don't know what kind of color grading you went on but you should not darken your actor's face until it becomes hardly visible.

The sound was good, you should mabe tweak the volume a little bit because sometimes it just hard to understand what he's saying.
 
TheArtist said:
You did a god job. A very good one considering your young age.

The main thing that concerned me was the distorsion on the camera. What did you shoot it with ?

Also, it looked a little too much dark. I don't know what kind of color grading you went on but you should not darken your actor's face until it becomes hardly visible.

The sound was good, you should mabe tweak the volume a little bit because sometimes it just hard to understand what he's saying.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kind words :D and since the movie has been uploaded now , I'll try putting on some subtitles so it becomes clear to the audience , And thanks for the advice I"ll try emphasizing upon the actors and make the look better as far as the color is concerned :D thanks :D
 
nice work, but for me some scenes lasted longer than they needed too, it felt like i was watching the same thing over and over again, i dont want to watch a scene for ages with nothing happening in it, i didnt see many cutaway shots to make it flow a bit better, but it was good perhaps with the action, make it more dynamic and less cheesy, like if your gonna shoot someone be ruthless about it and act like you actually shot him with emotion in your face.

6/10 from your harsh critic :) also the music bit too loud in some parts.
 
Well done! ... some nice shots, the car effects were effective and the voice over was good!

I agree with 8salacious9 on the long shots and the music being too loud.

Also, it was your wardrobe choices that distracted me ... the clothes maketh the characters! ... Bad to average wardrobe choices can emphasise the amateur side of things which, with the resources available to film makers today, is avoidable.

Is there 2nd hand recycled clothes shops near you? Over a bit of time and with a very little bit of money, you can put together a wardrobe that could be used across quite a few movies. Short of that, borrowing from friends and family can cover many bases.

But all in all it's a great job!
 
8salacious9 said:
nice work, but for me some scenes lasted longer than they needed too, it felt like i was watching the same thing over and over again, i dont want to watch a scene for ages with nothing happening in it, i didnt see many cutaway shots to make it flow a bit better, but it was good perhaps with the action, make it more dynamic and less cheesy, like if your gonna shoot someone be ruthless about it and act like you actually shot him with emotion in your face.

6/10 from your harsh critic :) also the music bit too loud in some parts.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your response ! I'll definitely try making it more dynamic in nature and use more transitions ,
Anyway thanks a ton ! :D
 
Joa said:
Well done! ... some nice shots, the car effects were effective and the voice over was good!

I agree with 8salacious9 on the long shots and the music being too loud.

Also, it was your wardrobe choices that distracted me ... the clothes maketh the characters! ... Bad to average wardrobe choices can emphasise the amateur side of things which, with the resources available to film makers today, is avoidable.

Is there 2nd hand recycled clothes shops near you? Over a bit of time and with a very little bit of money, you can put together a wardrobe that could be used across quite a few movies. Short of that, borrowing from friends and family can cover many bases.

But all in all it's a great job!
Click to expand...
I see what you mean , I do have some shops which rent cool costumes and overall wardrobe so , I'll try getting a good wardrobe for my movies now on :D and thanks for appreciating my work :D
 
I didn't like it. Blood splatter effect made my eyes roll. The intro car effect didn't work for me neither, because of a obviously speed up footage.
The text has to go as well. I'm here to watch a video, not to read.
Not much to critique since it had just a narration as a guy who was walking around.
Day for night effect was alright but didnt work in some of the shots because of the hard sun shadows.
I liked some of the music.

Keep making more stuff! :)
 
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dlevanchuk said:
I didn't like it. Blood splatter effect made my eyes roll. The intro car effect didn't work for me neither, because of a obviously speed up footage.
The text has to go as well. I'm here to watch a video, not to read.
Not much to critique since it had just a narration as a guy who was walking around.
Day for night effect was alright but didnt work in some of the shots because of the hard sun shadows.
I liked some of the music.

Keep making more stuff! :)
Click to expand...

Thank you for being honest ! I'll definitely try improving :D
 
much appreciated
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So any more responses guys ? Also I was just thinking about this film's genre that day , Would you call this an experimental film or what ? I can't decide upon its genre , So just tell me what according to you guys is the genre of this short :D
 
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