Question about hiring a proofreader.

[harmonica44]

I want to hire one to see if my script is good and what structural problems I need to fix. However, I am about two thirds finished the written script. Do you think that I need to hire a proofreader to look at the whole script? I mean I am on the first draft, so it will be a while before I hire one, but I feel that I probably shouldn't continue. I watched this tutorial, and John Truby seems to think that's it's better to show a proofreader the scene list (or treatment), only. He says so at 3:20:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VNJ1mzFHNA

This way, a proofreader can spot the structural problems alone, just in the scene list, without having to go through all the dialogue and what not. And by doing it this way, you don't even have to write a first draft yet. You might as well see if your idea works in the scene list, before even writing the first draft. What do you think? Should I not finish the first draft right now, and just hire a proofreader to go over the scene list first, to see if it's even work-able perhaps?

 

[harmonica44]

Okay thanks. I already took a few breaks and am on the third draft about. Well it depends on what you consider to be a newer draft. I have made several changes to individual sections of the script and left some parts the same so far, cause I haven't thought of room for improvement, other than cutting down on dialogue here and there.

As far as using the same locations to double for other locations on other scenes, I was able to do this a few times so far, but there are several scenes where I cannot write it to make sense. For example, there is a sequence where a federal officer is watching over a witness in witness protection, and they are at a safe house type setting. The villains arrive at the safe house and try to take them out.

The cops then decide to move her to another place to be watched over, until the court date. However, I cannot write it so that they decide to remain in the same safe house, without defying logic, since the villains already know where that safe house is, and could easily come back with more people possibly.

Another sequence involves the same federal officer, and the villains are after him later. They know where he lives so he decides to stay at hide out at his girlfriend's till the case is solved. That's another location, cause he wouldn't logically stay at home the whole time if the villains knew where he lived and were after him.

It's interesting how you said, the lower the budget, the fewer locations should be used. There is one scene for example, is only one page, maybe a little more. That will probably take at least 2 to 3 hours to shoot if I move fast, right? But if somehow were able to rewrite the script so that location was used for a 30 pages, that would be 60 to 90 hours. How do you get a location owner to give up her/his place for 90 hours, even if payed, compared to only 3 hours?

If this is the way to shoot low budget movies, then how do you persuade them to be okay with it? That's just one example, not every scene is that short of course. I am also trying to think of ways to use the same location. For example, I mentioned before of the conference room scene where the lawyers and judge meet to discuss the case. Could I use that scene for when the cops interrogate a suspect, or does this HAVE to be done in an interrogation room? There is also a scene where the cops are watching the interrogation from outside, in the observation room discussing what deals to cut with the suspect, or what they should do.

Can I write it so that the cops are in the same interrogation room as the suspect is being interrogated and they are discussing what to do, in the corner of the room, whispering to each other, while the interrogation is going on? That way I will not need an observation room.

I originally had the script in mind that the main villain, keeps the macguffin, inside a safety deposit box at the bank, and that other characters would have to break into the bank at night to get it. But I immediately thought this is not doable since a bank is expensive to shoot in, and I changed the location to a storage facility. But is this logical? Why would the villain use a self storage facility when a safety deposit box is cheaper, and also much better protected?

There is also another scene at the courthouse where when a character leaves, another character from the courthouse follows him. The next scene, has the character going up to the other character saying he followed him cause he needs to talk. The other character is already outraged at him so he punches him. I could write so this actor is only needed for the courthouse only, and he punches him at the courthouse, rather than writing it so he has to follow him to another place. But will this work, since there are witness at the courthouse and the guy could be arrested for punching the other guy? He cannot be arrested for the plot to work, which is why I wrote it so that he is followed to another place, but could I write it so that you can punch someone at a courthouse without being arrested, if it was a high profile case, and the public hated the person being punched enough, that nothing is done about it, even right at the scene?

 

[mlesemann]

As far as using the same locations to double for other locations on other scenes, I was able to do this a few times so far, but there are several scenes where I cannot write it to make sense. For example, there is a sequence where a federal officer is watching over a witness in witness protection, and they are at a safe house type setting. The villains arrive at the safe house and try to take them out.

The cops then decide to move her to another place to be watched over, until the court date. However, I cannot write it so that they decide to remain in the same safe house, without defying logic, since the villains already know where that safe house is, and could easily come back with more people possibly.

De-construct the location into its component pieces. In my first feature (Surviving Family), we used different rooms of the same house to be 3 different locations over a range of 20+ years. It's my parents' house so we were able to have it for multiple days and used set decoration to convey the change in location. Shoot some scenes tightly if you can only re-decorate a small area.

How many entrances does a house have? if it has a front door & a back door, use them as entrances to 2 different places.

In my feature that's currently in post-production (Detours), we used different sections of a restaurant to be 2 different diners in different states. And we shot all of the interiors in NJ but exteriors of many of the same "places" were shot in Georgia and Florida.

 

[FantasySciFi]

As far as using the same locations to double for other locations on other scenes, I was able to do this a few times so far, but there are several scenes where I cannot write it to make sense. For example, there is a sequence where a federal officer is watching over a witness ...
Another sequence involves the same federal officer, and the villains are after him later. ....

You're misreading what I said. As MLeseman points out, a director/producer can re-use a building to portray different "scene locations". The building itself is the physical location. Unless you have hidden reserves of money, it's hard (though not impossible as I'm sure someone would point out) to secure more than three physical locations to shoot on no/lo budgets. That's where a well connected producer is an asset in themselves.

It's interesting how you said, the lower the budget, the fewer locations should be used. There is one scene for example, is only one page, maybe a little more. That will probably take at least 2 to 3 hours to shoot if I move fast, right? But if somehow were able to rewrite the script so that location was used for a 30 pages, that would be 60 to 90 hours. How do you get a location owner to give up her/his place for 90 hours, even if payed, compared to only 3 hours?

The fewer physical locations. If you write "ext. mansion", "ext. park", "ext. skyscraper", "int. office complex", "int. swimming pool" and a few others, you're looking at multiple distinct locations. That would be hard to shoot on a $1000 budget. Now if you wrote "ext. mansion", "ext. mansion pool", "ext. mansion garden", "ext. business building", "int. business office", "ext. business parking lot" really you're talking about two physical locations--a mansion and a business building. Can an office board room be made to look like a courtroom or judge's chambers? That's 5-8 twelve hour shoot days. It doesn't matter where you shoot it, it will be the same length of time. So it comes down to money and connections. That's 3 or 4 weekends. Or you arrange to rent a house for a week. This will need to be worked out with your crew's and actors' schedules as well.

If this is the way to shoot low budget movies, then how do you persuade them to be okay with it? ...

Again you're putting the cart before the horse. Write a good script then work out the details with the producer. The producer will see what assets and monies can be rounded up. Based on that, the script will need to be adjusted. My point was that a bit of forethought in writing will save you and the producer headaches in trying to lock down locations down the road. Your job is to write, not produce or direct at this stage.

Can I write it so that the cops are in the same interrogation room as the suspect is being interrogated and they are discussing what to do, in the corner of the room, whispering to each other, while the interrogation is going on? That way I will not need an observation room.

I don't see why not. That happens all the time on crime shows. That shows the kind of forethought that helps reduce production costs.

... I immediately thought this is not doable since a bank is expensive to shoot in, and I changed the location to a storage facility. But is this logical? Why would the villain use a self storage facility when a safety deposit box is cheaper, and also much better protected?

Again, more good production thinking. Of course it's okay. Hiding it in plain sight is a novel approach.

...The other character is already outraged at him so he punches him. I could write so this actor is only needed for the courthouse only, and he punches him at the courthouse, rather than writing it so he has to follow him to another place. But will this work, since there are witness at the courthouse and the guy could be arrested for punching the other guy? ...

It happens all the time in films and shows. Yes, assault would probably land him in jail in real life. This isn't real life. Just don't have any witnesses. Or maybe it is witnessed by a court officer, but he only smirks if he sides with the hero and dislikes the schmuck getting punched. That smirk also conveys to the audience how the public in general feels about the guy.

You showed some good insights. That's the kind of thinking you want to apply to all of your script. Not everything has to be accurate to the real world, it simply needs to be logically consistent in your movie world framework.

 

[mlesemann]

I'd also "sell" the storage facility to the viewer as a location that offers 24 hours per day access, unlike a bank vault.

 

[harmonica44]

Okay thanks. The movie 15 Minutes (2001), had a scene outside a courthouse with plenty of witnesses and the media, witnessed an officer punching someone whom the public did not like and he just walked away. It worked for that movie, although my friend said he didn't believe that for a minute, so I guess it depends on the viewers.

When I write my script should I imply in the scene headings, that every scene could be part of the same location? For example, every scene that too place in the police station, whether it be the interrogation room, or the inspector's office, or the briefing room, should I write police station in each scene heading before writing the specific room then? Would that come off as me being too obvious since the reader knows we are still in the police station though?

Also, if the shoots must take 12 hours, how do I get the location owners to be okay with that? The current movie I am helping out on right now, the director and producer are having trouble securing locations for that long at a time, with the owner's schedules. The feature I helped out on last year, the director planned every shoot to to take no longer than 2-4 hours, because the owners were not okay with the locations being used longer. So is it a matter of more money? Do the shoots have to be 12 hours at a time? Cause this could be a problem based on other experiences, unless we are doing something wrong.

 

[FantasySciFi]

... When I write my script should I imply in the scene headings, that every scene could be part of the same location? For example, every scene that too place in the police station, whether it be the interrogation room, or the inspector's office, or the briefing room, should I write police station in each scene heading before writing the specific room then? Would that come off as me being too obvious since the reader knows we are still in the police station though?

You, the screenwriter, write the descriptive location where the scene takes place. If you want to write "INT. POLICE STATION, INTERROGATION ROOM", "INT. POLICE STATION, INSPECTOR'S OFFICE", "INT. POLICE STATION, BRIEFING ROOM" that's fine. It's important if there are two or more different "briefing rooms" used in your film (police station, bank, city hall, etc.). If there's only one and no chance of confusion, then you can leave off "Police Station" in each header.

I will layer my headers to make it easier later for continuity and production. I'm not playing producer but know what makes it easier for me as AD down the road using features built in to CeltX and many professional screenwriting software that assist in production planning. The audience isn't going to know what's in your script, and a reader won't care as long as you're consistent and use good formatting. The producer may secure one physical building or use three different locations. Not your concern at this point. You're not telling a producer or director where they are to shoot.

Also, if the shoots must take 12 hours, how do I get the location owners to be okay with that? The current movie I am helping out on right now, the director and producer are having trouble securing locations for that long at a time, with the owner's schedules. The feature I helped out on last year, the director planned every shoot to to take no longer than 2-4 hours, because the owners were not okay with the locations being used longer. So is it a matter of more money? Do the shoots have to be 12 hours at a time? Cause this could be a problem based on other experiences, unless we are doing something wrong.

To the point, H44, mind your own damn business as the screenwriter and let the director and producer do their own jobs. Scouting/planning physical locations and shoots ARE NOT your responsibility. Just write the damn script. You have to have the script done before you can do the breakdown. Write your script FIRST, then the director and producer you're working with can give you better advice. You don't worry what color you're going to paint the walls and which rooms to carpet before you draft the blueprint. You need that to know how many and how big they are to determine the gallons and square feet.

Making a film is like building a house. You can design mansions, castles, etc. but you won't find many buyers. Most people buying castles will hire someone with experience designing castles. You can design houses of many sizes to fit price ranges. Some houses are better suited for certain locations. All modern homes have certain basic features--living space, private space, public space, utility space and storage space. A good screenwriter, like a clever architect, can repurpose space/locations. ONCE the design is drafted, it's reviewed and sometimes passed along to other production experts.

These experts will make sure the plumbing and wiring are adequate and make calculations of loads and construction expenses. These are your producers. They'll work to secure funding and get together the crew and construction manager ("director"). Later they'll contract interior designers and landscapers ("visual, audio and FX artists") to work with the construction manager to create ambiance and curb appeal.

Unless the architect is also the construction manager (as "writer/director") or is on the payroll of the construction company ("studio"), your role often ends once the blueprint is purchased. Often they will engage sales agents ("casting directors") to sell and line up prospective clients ("actors"). Sometimes the clients will request changes. Sometimes due to economic situations, the construction manager makes changes. If there's a HOA ("investment group") they may dictate changes also.

You keep asking questions like "Should I wall paper or paint the bathroom since it takes time to dry and people need to use it?" when all you've drawn so far is a box and labelled it "bathroom" with no window, door or fixtures. Your responsibility when drafting up the blueprint is to decide where the bathroom goes, its shape, put in some basic fixtures and move on. Let the rest of the workers do their jobs decorating and recognize that it's exceedingly rare for changes not to be made down the road.

Stop playing director. Stop playing producer. Start being a writer and write. There will be plenty of time to be the other two later AFTER you have a finished script. You need to be a storyteller first.