watch new short - lenen punt nl

[dogfight]

Hello people,

I have a new short online.

it's less than 3 minutes.

Let me know what you people think...
I love to have some feedback from filmmakers.. the pat on my back from friends and family is nice... but you know..

http://www.vimeo.com/18002907

grt, mike d. / the netherlands

 

[mahdy]

I am sorry but who was running in the last scene?? I didn't get it...

well, good one.. if you tended to do experiment or something like that then u did good.. though the short film itself doesn't have any meaning..

thnx for sharing..

 

[jrsmithson]

I like the way the film starts off with the view-through-the-muslin. The punch in the face is really intense, I could feel it hitting me. The bat on the ground rhythm getting louder and louder was effective. The dialogue at 1:57 was inaudible to me.. was it even English? That is hard for me because if it isn't in English then I'm missing a huge part of the story. Which leads me to my main point. There doesn't seem to be much story, it's more of a scene from a longer film. But as an exercise it succeeds IMO.

 

[dogfight]

not really a storyline.. that's true..

I just wanted to shoot something and had last weekend the time.

Main issue was to try to fix my light points and work better with my sound... still a lot of work to do I think, but for the time I was busy with it I think it looks a bit better again than my previous work.

Fun notes to share for fellow film makers, there is probably a topic somewhere on this forum but just name it here.
As I wanted to work on my sound recordings this day it was funny to notice that the location I choose for this clip was next to the building of the hell angels chapter of Haarlem / the Netherlands and had on that day a big funeral. You can imagine that the whole day was filled with the sound of big V twin choppers. I only had a couple of moments with out the noize haha.

Ooh she speaks Dutch, just 1, 2, 3, 4... 4 that's all haha

cheers for the replies.. let them come..

grt, mike d.

 

[Gonzo_Entertainment]

Obiously either non-narrative, or VERY subtle narrative that I couldn't quite follow, BUT absolutely beautiful, well paced, nicely edited. There is a LOT of good here.

 

[Cracker Funk]

Beautiful imagery. Very nicely shot.

As a stand-alone short, this doesn't really do much. I'll echo what's already been said -- this feels like more of a piece of something larger, which it is not.

If you can shoot a longer short (like, around the 20-30 minute range), with a coherent and interesting story, I think you've got something.

Story first. Always.

 

[Murdock]

I agree with Cracker here. It looks very nice, but feels like a part of something bigger.