Need some help picking an ending.

Lowxposure

Lowxposure

I posted the script a while back, but in a nutshell, two guys are contracted to kill a man that has stolen money from a hotshot. The standard dynamic is in play, pinky and the brain if you will. The smarter character is quick to preach to the other character about fairness and greed. Eventually the "Brain" kills his partner to take all of the contract money despite all of his previous statements. That being said I'm torn between two endings.

In the first, the main character is driving away from his dead partner. He is listening to the radio and is content with himself. Fade to black, obvious sound of car wreck, credits.

PROS: It has a sort of, yin and yang feel to it. The universe has a balance between good and evil, and you get yours in the end kind of thing.

CONS: It feels quick, and it feels cheap.

In the second, the main character goes back to his boss to collect the money. The boss expresses a job well done, but it quickly becomes evident that he never intended to pay the main character. The main character tries to fight back, but is quickly dispatched.

PROS: Possibly more audience satisfaction. The ending may feel a little more complete.

CONS: The ending COULD drag for the third act (I'll have to demonstrate a passage of time as he travels from location A to location B). It will also require another location, and at LEAST one more actor, and I'm already spread pretty thin as it is. It's not impossible, but it won't be easy.

What do you think?
 
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The betrayal won't work unless there's subtle hints throughout. So subtle that most won't realize until the very end. That being said I like the first ending better.

As for the second ending, you say the character is "The Brain". If he's intelligent he'd have a contingency plan concerning the payment already planned out. Besides that, killing off the remaining last main character isn't really going to bring audience satisfaction. Of course, you don't always need it, ala The Departed.
 
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As for the second ending, you say the character is "The Brain". If he's intelligent he'd have a contingency plan concerning the payment already planned out
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He's actually not really a smart guy, he's just smarter than his partner. I suppose I could have shared the title, "The New Hires". This is actually their first job.

I like the second ending. You could even have the boss tell the brain something similar to what he told pinky before he killed him.
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That's what I was thinking, but I'm still fighting with the first ending. I'm also a little afraid of making the short far too "preachy".
 
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You can make it a Coen Bros. total FUBAR ending by having a mash-up:
- "Meat Head" kills the "Thief", also a bomber.
- "The Brain" betrays and kills "Meat Head" to collect all the stolen money and a bomb.
- "The Brain" goes to "Hotshot" to deliver the cash in a satchel, but it's really the bomb on a timer to settle a score.
- But before "The Brain" can leave the room with a smirk at the beginning of his new life "Hotshot" puts two in his back.
- The bomb detonates when "Hotshot" opens the satchel.

Everyone is dead.

LOL!

GL


Ray
 
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rayw said:
You can make it a Coen Bros. total FUBAR ending by having a mash-up:
- "Meat Head" kills the "Thief", also a bomber.
- "The Brain" betrays and kills "Meat Head" to collect all the stolen money and a bomb.
- "The Brain" goes to "Hotshot" to deliver the cash in a satchel, but it's really the bomb on a timer to settle a score.
- But before "The Brain" can leave the room with a smirk at the beginning of his new life "Hotshot" puts two in his back.
- The bomb detonates when "Hotshot" opens the satchel.

Everyone is dead.

LOL!

GL


Ray
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Bar none the best ending! I just don't think I could do a bomb without SERIOUSLY deducting from the production value. But maybe the explosion doesn't need to be seen.... "Hotshot" looks the satchel over, close up on his hands flipping the latch open, there's a beat, then a click/beep sound. CREDITS.

Maybe I could shoot the first ending, because it's extremely simple, and then film the alternate ending. Ray you may have just earned an assistant writer's credit :)
 
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Lowxposure said:
Bar none the best ending! I just don't think I could do a bomb without SERIOUSLY deducting from the production value. But maybe the explosion doesn't need to be seen.... "Hotshot" looks the satchel over, close up on his hands flipping the latch open, there's a beat, then a click/beep sound. CREDITS.

Maybe I could shoot the first ending, because it's extremely simple, and then film the alternate ending. Ray you may have just earned an assistant writer's credit :)
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Thank you, sir.
Just trying to earn my keep around here.

Bomb = brown paper wrapped shoebox or several plastic 20oz coke bottles filled with something (antifreeze ought to look pretty cool) + duct tape + kitchen timer or old cell phone or walkie-talkie taped to it.
8483593-homemade-bomb-with-mobile-phone-isolated.jpg
may-05-045.jpg
12918345355oQOHb.jpg


Shaking credits with boom!


EDIT:
Sheeeeeeee!t. Looks like you can just duct tape together a gallon ziplock bag of common garden fertilizer mixed with glass marbles soaked with apple juice (fuel oil) and a old cell phone. Viola! DIY bomb.
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/munitions/explosives-anfo.htm


Oh, and you could probably include a close up of "Hotshot's" face for about 0.1-0.2 secs of a halogen lamp being turned on 16" away.
image_1803.jpg



Lowxposure said:
Looks like something you'd find on the side of the road in the middle east.
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Yeah.
It's f#cking horrible, ain't it?
A$$holes.
 
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Bomb = brown paper wrapped shoebox or several plastic 20oz coke bottles filled with something (antifreeze ought to look pretty cool) + duct tape + kitchen timer or old cell phone or walkie-talkie taped to it.
Click to expand...

Looks like something you'd find on the side of the road in the middle east.
 
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Thanks for all the input folks. I think since the first ending is so incredibly simple I'll film it and do Ray's alteration on the second. I'll post the results and maybe you guys can vote on something legit... get ready to wait though. My buddy works offshore and we only get to work on film stuff two weekends every other month.
 
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harmonica44 said:
Like have one guy kill the other, then that remaining guy, goes to his boss, then the second ending happens. Two endings for the price of one. That's what I meant.
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Please don't take this the wrong way, but you maybe need to slow down when you're reading things and actually look at what is being said.

In both endings, the partner is killed. In the first, the guy gets in a car accident while driving away. In the second, he gets double-crossed by the boss. But again, the partner is dead in both of those. I guess you could combine them, where he gets in a car accident, but doesn't die, and then goes to the boss, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of the car accident...
 
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Lowxposure said:
I posted the script a while back, but in a nutshell, two guys are contracted to kill a man that has stolen money from a hotshot. The standard dynamic is in play, pinky and the brain if you will. The smarter character is quick to preach to the other character about fairness and greed. Eventually the "Brain" kills his partner to take all of the contract money despite all of his previous statements. That being said I'm torn between two endings.

In the first, the main character is driving away from his dead partner. He is listening to the radio and is content with himself. Fade to black, obvious sound of car wreck, credits.

PROS: It has a sort of, yin and yang feel to it. The universe has a balance between good and evil, and you get yours in the end kind of thing.

CONS: It feels quick, and it feels cheap.

In the second, the main character goes back to his boss to collect the money. The boss expresses a job well done, but it quickly becomes evident that he never intended to pay the main character. The main character tries to fight back, but is quickly dispatched.

PROS: Possibly more audience satisfaction. The ending may feel a little more complete.

CONS: The ending COULD drag for the third act (I'll have to demonstrate a passage of time as he travels from location A to location B). It will also require another location, and at LEAST one more actor, and I'm already spread pretty thin as it is. It's not impossible, but it won't be easy.

What do you think?
Click to expand...

The main character is described as alive, and driving away from his dead partner in the first ending. So since he's alive, can't he go to the boss, and then have the second ending? Sorry I am confused.
 
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Lowxposure said:
In the first, the main character is driving away from his dead partner. He is listening to the radio and is content with himself. Fade to black, obvious sound of car wreck, credits.
Click to expand...

harmonica44 said:
The main character is described as alive, and driving away from his dead partner in the first ending. So since he's alive, can't he go to the boss, and then have the second ending? Sorry I am confused.
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It's the "obvious sound of car wreck" part that you're skipping (bolded above). It's implied that he's killed in a car wreck immediately following killing his partner, and therefore wouldn't be alive to go to the boss.
 
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