Need critique on a short

[dlevanchuk]

Hey everyone! I made a short for 48 hour competition and I am looking for some critique from fellow filmmakers. Feel free to tear it apart!

What works, what doesn't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8Jxsn2r0rg

 

[RedStudios_TSBnick]

Hey everyone! I made a short for 48 hour competition and I am looking for some critique from fellow filmmakers. Feel free to tear it apart!

What works, what doesn't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8Jxsn2r0rg

I really liked it! It was well done, considering it's a 48 hour competition (I have faith that you'd make it even better if you had more time).

My only criticism is that at the beginning the girl yells at someone else in the door frame, but throughout the conversation sequence another person is not in sight. Of course, this is only a little thing, but all in all it looks really good!

 

[GuerrillaAngel]

:20 seconds of titles and logos. The opening car shot was not believable. Things needed to go by on the window. The first girl character looked great. The camera angles were pretty good too. I only got as far as 1:20. For a 48 hour competition -- thumbs up!!!

 

[orb3]

I don't know much about directing but as a viewer it keeps you interested till the end.. i like it. The effects have been used just the way they should be. Like Like !

 

[dlevanchuk]

Oh wow. Thank you for good feedback, everyone!

 

[rotwang]

Works for me, especially considering the time restriction.

 

[Cracker Funk]

Wow, impressive effects! The shot when she steps out of the trailer, and then daughter appears -- I must've watched it 20 times in a row, looking for creases or inconsistencies, but you nailed it!

The only part of the film I didn't quite get was the crime noir aspect. Everything else I thought was really enjoyable.

Good job!

 

[baoliun]

jumped the line in the dialogue scene,when the first CU hits. And yeah unless car shot was a spoof,you need to move the bg otherwise it looks like what is is,someone wobbling the car Well done for the 48!