• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

Is this a good synopsis and logline?

Logline:

The last remaining human wanders around a desolate town in search of answers to explain a past that’s long forgotten.

Synopsis:

Sorin Turner finds himself alone in a desolate town, desperately searching for answers to explain a past he can’t remember. The only thing he can recall is a nameless woman on a mountain overlook. Follow young Sorin as he journeys through his past to uncover the ultimate truth about humanity and our future.


I don't know if it's too confusing or boring or what....So, what do you guys think?
 
Self naveling boring.

Raggedy dirty man wanders about a filthy desolate abandoned industrial space (ugh!) available to thousands of filmmakers around the globe.
Character without memory (ugh!) walks by and steps over broken odds and ends of random sh!t, spies "something", figures out WTH happened.
But no one else is around to givvash!t!

WOW!
Never been done before.
coffee.gif


What? No zombies (ugh!) or radiation damaged survivor (ugh!) mini-horde attack?
anizombies.gif
 
Nice. That's exactly the kind of response I was looking for (not sarcasm).

My intention is to misdirect the audience into thinking that they're going to watch a boring movie about a guy wandering around a desolate town. In reality, that's only shown in the title sequence. the rest is about a one day event that explains how the World ended and the fundamental role the main character played in all of it.

I know I should be promoting the best aspects of the movie, but I want people to come into it with low expectations and be blown away by the visuals and completely un-expecting story.
 
Echoing Rayw's post..

Why is he desperately trying to figure what happened? What will happen to him if he never figures that out?

For now it sounds boring. He walks around, looking at stuff, finds some "Crazy" clue what happened and movie ends.. So? Does that fix anything?

Is there something that prevents him from discovering what happened?

Give the guy some sort of antagonistic force to fight against.
 
y intention is to misdirect the audience into thinking that they're going to watch a boring movie about a guy wandering around a desolate town

And thats where you will fail. I will turn that video off, as soon as I see these shots. You need to grab audience, not to misdirect them with.. "Well, it is boring now, but wait to see what wil happen next!"

That shit doesn't work, trust me... I tried haha

I want people to come into it with low expectations and be blown away by the visuals and completely un-expecting story.

The audience doens't give 2 shits about visuals (sucker punch is an example). That is a job for studios with big budget. Nobody will get impressed, i'm telling you right away. If visuals is your strongest selling point - that's pretty weak.

Work on an interesting conflict, and not on videocopilot tutorial implementations.
 
Last edited:
My intention is to misdirect the audience into thinking that they're going to watch a boring movie about a guy wandering around a desolate town. In reality, that's only shown in the title sequence. the rest is about a one day event that explains how the World ended and the fundamental role the main character played in all of it.
Don't do it.

If an advertisement looks like it's for audience B but the story is really for audience A then you're going to have a lot of unsatisfied audience B viewers bad-mouthing your product.

Don't put Dr Pepper in peoples' Coke cans.
Don't put sugar in their salt shakers.
Don't put falsies in your bra on date night. EVENTUALLY someone's going to be unhappy with your perfectly fine A's because you misrepresented them as B's.

Appeal to your optimal audience, not the audience you think you can trick into watching your film.


But don't take my word for it.
Somewhere in here Lloyd's telling folks "Don't misrepresent your film."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7cFXrkkk-A
 
And thats where you will fail. I will turn that video off, as soon as I see these shots. You need to grab audience, not to misdirect them with.. "Well, it is boring now, but wait to see what wil happen next!"

That shit doesn't work, trust me... I tried haha



The audience doens't give 2 shits about visuals (sucker punch is an example). That is a job for studios with big budget. Nobody will get impressed, i'm telling you right away. If visuals is your strongest selling point - that's pretty weak.

Work on an interesting conflict, and not on videocopilot tutorial implementations.

Well, time will tell. The movie isn't reliant on the visuals. It's 100% about a story filled with mystery, thrill, terrorism, murder, etc. We're just using a really awesome Dp along with a really cool story.

I'm sorry. I wish I could explain the whole thing to you, but I don't want someone to steal the idea. However, I will say that Christopher Nolan is working on a piece that's pretty similar to it...Obviously 20 times better, though.

Anyway, thanks for the input.
 
Well, time will tell. The movie isn't reliant on the visuals. It's 100% about a story filled with mystery, thrill, terrorism, murder, etc. We're just using a really awesome Dp along with a really cool story.

I'm sorry. I wish I could explain the whole thing to you, but I don't want someone to steal the idea. However, I will say that Christopher Nolan is working on a piece that's pretty similar to it...Obviously 20 times better, though.

Anyway, thanks for the input.

I'm confused...did you just make a post asking for people's opinions on a logline/synopsis and then take a negative response as incentive to proceed unchanged?

...to each their own, I guess...
 
It's 100% about a story filled with mystery, thrill, terrorism, murder, etc.

How do we know that?
Your synopsis says the movie is about a guy with memory loss who tries to find out what happened with the world around him..

Who does terrorism /murder and causes thrill? One guy who wanders around an isolated city?
Mention an antagonistic force in your logline.


Your job, as a successful filmmaker, is to make people watch your work. Underselling your story is not the way to do it.

Figure out a better log line.

You can have the most brillian masterpiece, filled with revolutionary action, oscar worthy CG, etc. But if your logline reads "A young guy wonders around trying to figure out dafuq happened" - your movie will fail.
 
As a viewer, I can tell you if a movie starts out boring I don't have the patience to let it get un-boring. Most movie viewers have even shorter attention spans than I do.

The entire premise you're trying to sell us here is terrible. Further, I already feel my time was wasted with this thread, and I haven't gotten to your movie yet.

You posted asking opinions about your log line and synopsis, both of which are -- mediocre, at best. Then you tell us that they actually have nothing to do with the story, so...

Let me ask you, why are you wasting my time?
 
I think there's a good lesson to be learned here: Don't understate your film. I can understand people overstating their film, they make it sound more exciting than it is, in order to draw in customers (hell, the majority of trailers do that!). But trying to make it sound more boring than it actually is, your just going to put viewers off.
 
Hmm...Well, then I'm going to go against my better judgement and fill you in on this story a little more. Maybe someone out there will be able to come up with a more interesting log line and synopsis. None of these are that important if the film already has funding and can be promoted well via ad's...However, I'm nowhere near that point, which means I'm gonna need something more interesting than what I have.

Ok, so the first minute of the movie is the opening title sequence, which shows the main character waking up from a mysterious dream about a woman who says, "All we have to do is wake up." As he gets ready for a morning jog around a desolate town, he contemplates his own reality by asking questions like, "What are all these buildings for? These sitting cars that never seem to rot away?" He also asks, "Why am I the only one?" Finally, we end with him running at the top of this hill, looking down at the small town. He looks out and asks, "What else is out there?"

The next scene starts with the phrase, "A long time ago." Then we cut to him sitting on a couch watching this late night scifi talk show where this guy brings in a guest who claims he can channel extra dimensional beings. Throughout the program he references a "portal", causing the main character to suddenly grow interested in the show. In the end, he recollects the first time this "portal" appeared in the sky.

He was jogging down the road when it happened. Then, suddenly everything stopped and pandamonium ensued since everyone thought the world was going to end. As a response to all of this, the main character locks himself in his house and basically does nothing, like a deer caught in headlights. He suddenly starts reading all of these books laying around his house as a means to escape. One day looters break in and almost kill him. He decides to leave and go to this scenic view that his grandfather used to take him when he was young.

As this story progresses, you're given another story that takes place in an underground lab where some rouge terrorist decided to sabatoge some sort of important mission called "Project Novek". You don't know what it is. The only thing you know is that it's going to save humanity and this terrorist among other extremists don't want this to happen.

In the end, the two stories merge and we reach a single conclusion that explains everything that's been going on. The portal, the desolate town in the beginning, the terrorist group, as well as Project Novek.

So....How could I make my synopsis and logline more interesting?
 
One thing you want to look at is, as the others have all said, stop focusing on making it seem boring. When was the last time you paid money to go sit 1.5-2 hours for a boring movie? Add something in that makes someone want to watch it based on one to three sentences. If you just say "One day a man with no memory walks around a deserted town, simply thinking.", hell, I got bored just writing that. Add something in that pulls people in. Doesn't matter if it tells a bit more of the story than you might want, you're not making this movie for you, you're making it for other people. If you as the writer aren't interested, why would I be?

Also, I googled the word Novek and not much came up. If you are going to make an entire organisation, I might recommend using a word that has a meaning particular to what it wants to achieve whether it comes from mythology or religion. Just my penny given.

Best of luck with your story.
 
Ok, so the first minute of the movie is the opening title sequence, which shows the main character waking up from a mysterious dream about a woman who says, "All we have to do is wake up." As he gets ready for a morning jog around a desolate town, he contemplates his own reality by asking questions like, "What are all these buildings for? These sitting cars that never seem to rot away?" He also asks, "Why am I the only one?" Finally, we end with him running at the top of this hill, looking down at the small town. He looks out and asks, "What else is out there?"

The next scene starts with the phrase, "A long time ago." Then we cut to him sitting on a couch watching this late night scifi talk show where this guy brings in a guest who claims he can channel extra dimensional beings. Throughout the program he references a "portal", causing the main character to suddenly grow interested in the show. In the end, he recollects the first time this "portal" appeared in the sky.

He was jogging down the road when it happened. Then, suddenly everything stopped and pandamonium ensued since everyone thought the world was going to end. As a response to all of this, the main character locks himself in his house and basically does nothing, like a deer caught in headlights. He suddenly starts reading all of these books laying around his house as a means to escape. One day looters break in and almost kill him. He decides to leave and go to this scenic view that his grandfather used to take him when he was young.

As this story progresses

Sorry to tell you this, but there is still no story. All of that is just a setting, a backdrop for something to happen. Your character just kind of floats along with all these events, not really doing anything. I mean yea, he runs, hides etc, but there is no CONFLICT. Does he do anything to prevent stuff? Make him do something, something to stand up against. A big antagonist. Nobody wants to watch a pitiful weak boy-man being a spineless turd poop just floating along... I'm not really sure what we could feel for this guy.. Feel sorry for him? Root for him? What are we rooting for? What do we want him to succeed in?


, you're given another story that takes place in an underground lab where some rouge terrorist decided to sabatoge some sort of important mission called "Project Novek". You don't know what it is. The only thing you know is that it's going to save humanity and this terrorist among other extremists don't want this to happen.

This is just came out of nowhere at all.. Sounds like you re trying to put two movies together, but I don't see how you can make that work without audience going "What the hell? What about that other guy, from begining of the movie? How is he involved in this?"

In the end, the two stories merge and we reach a single conclusion that explains everything that's been going on. The portal, the desolate town in the beginning, the terrorist group, as well as Project Novek.

As of now, in the end, I will say "well, that movie sucked".

You have a hard time coming up with a catchy logline for your story because there is NO story. There is a setting, but... no conflic, nothing is at stakes.

This of your main character to do something, and make somebody/something prevent him/her from obtaining that goal.


For example, he has no idea what is going on. He finds a picture of him hugging a woman. Is it his girlfriend? Is it sister? He goes on a quest to find her to reunite... Boom, now you got some sort of a goal for your character. Pretty cheesy, but a goal. Now throw some antagonistic force into this: looters, terroriss, government, mother-nature, psychological issues , whatever there is.
 
Back
Top