help, film-life crisis.

R

RealJasonBourne

Can anyone give me some words of wisdom.

How do you stop yourself from getting overwhelmed and procrastinating? Or feeling too tired to work on something and would rather do something else?

Whenever I think "we should go out to the park and practice" I get thoughts of carrying a bunch of equipment to the car, driving to the park, unloading everything, carrying it and then doing multiple bad takes that drain all your energy.

I waste too much time on youtube and on the internet doing nothing when I could be putting time and effort into planning a short film. (I don't have anything to put in a demo reel and I hate that).

What the hell is going on here man. I know that wasting time doing nothing is just basically putting your life on pause.

Has anyone ever gone through this?
 
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trueindie said:
If you think you're a filmmaker, you're a filmmaker. How good a filmmaker you are is something completely different (FYI, most of us suck). But if you want to make films, you're a filmmaker.
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While I do appreciate this sentiment it makes me curious:

How far do you take this? If you think you're a hockey player, you're
a hockey player? If you want to be a police officer, you're a police officer?
If you're a lawyer, you're a lawyer? If you want to be a race car driver,
you're a race car driver?

I come from a very different point of view which is why I ask. At some
point one must do something in order to be something. Perhaps it's
because I have worked so hard to learn and develop skills. I am a little
put off by the idea that someone who thinks they are a filmmaker is
as much of a filmmaker as I am.
 
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If you think you're a filmmaker, you're a filmmaker. How good a filmmaker you are is something completely different (FYI, most of us suck). But if you want to make films, you're a filmmaker.
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No offense to you personally, trueindie, but that is absurd. I couldn't disagree more. Doing, action, that's what makes you something. Hell, you don't need to be successful, but just playing make-believe in your head and not doing anything does not just make you it.

I can't just be like, "I want to be a politician, so I am a politician." Fuck no, I'd at least need to try and run for some elected office to even begin to have a legitimate claim to calling myself that.
 
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Cracker Funk said:
Time enjoyed is not time wasted. Do with your free-time what you enjoy doing. That might be filmmaking, or it might not be.
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Reading the first post this is what resonates with me the most.

When I was starting out the thought of carrying a bunch of equipment
to the car, driving to the park, unloading everything, carrying it and then
doing multiple bad takes was what I called Saturday. It's what I did in
my free time. Doing that didn't make me feel too tired, it made me feel
good. I wouldn't rather be doing something else – I wanted to make films.

Perhaps making movies isn't what you truly want to do, RealJasonBorne.
And there's nothing wrong with coming to that conclusion.
 
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I can see that this sentiment of "If you think you're an astronaut, you're an astronaut" has touched a nerve. :)

While this sentiment is not exactly true, it is a starting point. I'm trying to tell RealJasonBourne not to listen to people who're telling him that maybe filmmaking is not for him. I'm not saying he's Spielberg. I'm telling him to believe in himself despite his "laziness" and what everybody else is interpreting as his lack of "passion."

It's a starting point. If my films don't improve, and continue to suck, then at some point, I will have to accept that the NFL or the World Cup, is not for me. But until then, I'm going to continue to believe that I can get to that level. Otherwise, I should pack up right now and stop wasting my time.

Just because he has a block right now, doesn't mean he should give up. Just because he is not "doing" right now, doesn't mean he can't do. I'm telling him to figure out how to get to that point where he can start doing. But he needs to believe that he is a filmmaker first, does he not? He doesn't have to believe he is Spielberg, but he needs to believe he has the capacity to get close. Of course he needs to start doing. But let's not tell him to just pack up and do something else, just because he hasn't done anything yet.

That's the way I look at it.
Cheers
 
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trueindie said:
It's a starting point. If my films don't improve, and continue to suck, then at some point, I will have to accept that the NFL or the World Cup, is not for me. But until then, I'm going to continue to believe that I can get to that level. Otherwise, I should pack up right now and stop wasting my time.
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Absolutely - but we're not talking about whether he's good enough or not to make it as a filmmaker, that's a whole different discussion. If you're not actually going out and making films there's no way to judge how good you are, whether you are improving, etc. It's not a question of whether you should believe you can get to a higher level; it's whether you're taking the steps necessary to turn that belief into a reality.

But he needs to believe that he is a filmmaker first, does he not? He doesn't have to believe he is Spielberg, but he needs to believe he has the capacity to get close.
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He doesn't have to believe he is a filmmaker, just that he has the capacity to become one. That's the starting point. Then he needs to test that belief against reality - by actually making films. Once he does that he actually becomes a filmmaker, and then can proceed to the next step which is to measure his progress as a filmmaker against the belief that he can become a good, or successful filmmaker.

Of course he needs to start doing. But let's not tell him to just pack up and do something else, just because he hasn't done anything yet.
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I don't think anyone is suggesting he pack it in just because he hasn't done anything - but rather because he seems disinclined to take the important first steps, which is to actually start (or continue) doing something.

My initial reply also wasn't just in response to this particular thread in isolation - I'm also taking into account a previous thread in which he actually did attempt to shoot a project and essentially gave up after completing a single shot, despite having laid out significant expense and effort to put the shoot together. He had another thread where he discussed being completely unmotivated on shoots when things weren't going fast enough. Now he's saying he can't even get the motivation up to go out and shoot at all. To me, it suggests that filmmaking isn't really a passion for him, certainly not enough to drive him to get over even the most minor of challenges - which doesn't bode well for progressing further to levels where the challenges get really significant.

If that's the case - that he's not really that passionate about it - then it seems like maybe the most important thing he could do now is figure out what it is that he is actually passionate about and pursue that instead, rather than wasting time thinking he's a filmmaker if it's not what he really wants to do.
 
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I don't see where anyone was outright telling him to quit. Just that he should really think about and examine what he wants. If you can't motivate yourself to do something, it's time to self-examine and decide if it's what you want. That's not being discouraging, that's tough love.

Though I think maybe it hit one of your nerves, trueindie? ;)

Point is, if making films is what you really want to do, a bunch of strangers on the internet questioning your resolve shouldn't make you balk or sit on your hands or give up entirely, it should make you say "FUCK YOU!" and "I'll show them!"
 
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trueindie said:
I can see that this sentiment of "If you think you're an astronaut, you're an astronaut" has touched a nerve.
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It did touch a nerve. So I'd love to know what you mean.

Clearly just thinking about being a filmmaker or wanting to be
a filmmaker doesn't make you a filmmaker. Making movies makes
you a filmmaker. How is it helpful in this situation, to say if you
think you're a filmmaker, you're a filmmake? RealJasonBorurne
is asking if anyone else has struggled with procrastion and being
overwhelmed with the process of making a movie.

The reason I (and others) suggested filmmaking might not be for
him is because he sees the process of making a movie a drain of
energy. "...and then doing multiple bad takes that drain all your
energy." Doing multiple bad takes is what making a movie is.
Having all you energy drained in the process of making a movie is
what making a movie is.

My advice is very different than yours, trueindie.

I say to RealJasonBorurne; there is no “trick” to stop getting
overwhelmed. Making a movie is overwhelming. The only way
to stop procractinating is to get out there, carry a bunch of
equipment to the car, drive to the park, unload everything,
carry it and do multiple bad takes until you get the good take.

Stop thinking your a filmmaker and make a film. Stop wanting
to be a filmmaker and make a film.

If you don't want to do all that work, don't do it. Right now
that's what you're doing; not making movies. You don't seem
to be happy NOT making movies.
 
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@IDOM

I'm not aware of the history of his posts. My point of view is that if I can encourage another filmmaker, I will do that. And I know you guys are all trying to do the same in your own ways. I'm doing it in mine. I want him to look in the mirror and say "You're a goddamn filmmaker, you can do it."

Hopefully at some point he'll have a story he REALLY wants to tell, and will find the energy. That's what we can hope for. Hopefully he gets to use all the gear he bought.
 
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@Directorik

What I mean is this: If I were to have a conversation with my first boss, it would go something like this.

J: So Aveek, what did you say you were doing?
A: I'm a filmmaker now.
J: What do you mean you're a filmmaker?
A: I direct movies.
J: What kind of movies?
A: Mostly shorts, but I'm working on a feature right now. I hope to shoot it before the snow starts falling.
J: So you've not really directed any movies yet.
A: Well I directed one feature, but it's not really worth mentioning, because the production value was really low. And it looked like shit."
J: So, you've only directed one shit movie so far.
A: Yes.
J: So you're a director of shit movies so far.
A: Yes.
J: I remember, you spent all that money making that film. And it was shit?
A: Yes.
J: If you only make shit movies, what makes you think you're a director?

And I would have no answer to that, that would explain my life, or what it is I'm doing. So whether I'm a director or not in reality, I'm one in my head. And I believe I can do it. And that's why I'm writing scripts, and buying equipment, and talking to DPs, and making friends with sound guys, making friends with actors, talking to the local school board trying to arrange interns, whatever the hell else needs to be done.

Am I a director? I sure as hell am not one in life. But I play one in my head. And that's what motivates me.

Hopefully I was able to answer your question of what I meant by my statement.
 
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trueindie said:
And I would have no answer to that, that would explain my life, or what it is I'm doing. So whether I'm a director or not in reality, I'm one in my head. And I believe I can do it.
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But you do have an answer for that - you're a director because you've been directing movies. The quality of the movies doesn't matter, at least in terms of determining whether you are a director or not. You've directed some shorts, and a feature, you're a director - maybe not a good one, or a particularly successful one, or a professional one, yet. But a director nonetheless.

And I believe you can do it too - because you have, and you are. And if you say that one day you'll be a great director, I believe it's possible as well - because you're actually putting in the work to make it happen. Maybe you get where you want to go, maybe you don't, but you're at least walking down the road in the direction you want to go, so it's a real possibility rather than just something you're sitting at home dreaming about.

And that's why I'm writing scripts, and buying equipment, and talking to DPs, and making friends with sound guys, making friends with actors, talking to the local school board trying to arrange interns, whatever the hell else needs to be done.
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Exactly - you're doing whatever the hell needs to be done. You're not just thinking you're a filmmaker, you're being a filmmaker. That's the distinction I see here.

Am I a director? I sure as hell am not one in life. But I play one in my head. And that's what motivates me.
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But you're not just playing one in your head - you are actually directing films! You are a director! I get that you want to be a better director, but that's part of the process, you have to start somewhere and it's almost always going to be something less than you think you're capable of or what you want it to be. But you keep doing it, and you keep getting better. Right now, you're in the gap...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ResTHKVxf4

And as Glass says the key to getting out of the gap is to do a lot of work - fight your way through that.

You're doing that now. RealJasonBourne isn't. I'm not saying he should pack it in and give up on being a filmmaker - just that he has to decide if it's important enough to him to start fighting. It might not be, and there's nothing wrong with that. If it isn't, then find something that is.
 
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trueindie said:
Hopefully I was able to answer your question of what I meant by my statement.
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Thanks. I guess we just disagree.

I agree with IDOM; you are a director because you direct even if you
aren't making a living at it. RJB is struggling with procrastination.
Telling him is is a director just like you (or me) because he thinks he's
a director seems unhelpful. His problem is he thinks he's a director but
the process of making a movie is something he doesn't like so he
doesn't make movies.

Empty encouragement (You can do it!) is not, in my opinion, helpful
to someone struggling with procrastination. You don't believe in “tough
love” so I see why you would rather just offer platitudes. I'm not much
of a “tough love” believer, either, especially when it come to procrastination.
But suggesting that if he doesn't like the process of making a movie
(“...and then doing multiple bad takes that drain all your energy”) then
maybe filmmaking is not right for him is not either discouraging or even
tough love. Seriously, if he thinks doing multiple bad takes drains all
your energy then perhaps making a movie isn't the right thing for him.

You didn't answer a question that I'm very interested in; how far do you
take this? Would you say, “If you think you're a lawyer, you're a lawyer.”?
Or “If you think you're hockey player, you're a hockey player.”? What
about ”If you think you're the Prime Minister, you're the Prime Mister.”?
 
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directorik said:
Empty encouragement (You can do it!) is not, in my opinion, helpful
to someone struggling with procrastination. You don't believe in “tough
love” so I see why you would rather just offer platitudes.
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I don't believe I was offering platitudes, but I suppose you could call what I was offering "empty." That's fair.

You didn't answer a question that I'm very interested in; how far do you
take this? Would you say, “If you think you're a lawyer, you're a lawyer.”?
Or “If you think you're hockey player, you're a hockey player.”? What
about ”If you think you're the Prime Minister, you're the Prime Mister.”?
Click to expand...

I wouldn't take it very far at all. I'm not a lawyer or a hockey player because I think I am. It's an expression that suggests, that you have to first believe that you are this thing. People told Michael Jordan he wasn't tall enough to be a basketball player, but he believed he was. And he swung from monkey bars until he made himself taller (at least according to the accounts I've read). But how does he do it? He believed he could play. It's the first belief. That's about how far I'd take it.

If you believe you're a lawyer, in your heart and soul, then that's the first moment of action. Then, get into law school, pass the bar, choose your specialty, and become a lawyer. Those things all need to be done, but I suppose what I'm saying is, that it starts with the belief that you can do it. Of course you could be proved wrong. You could find that while you like argumentation, you're not interested in reading precedent cases to formulate your arguments, and you find reading about case law, boring. Then, it won't matter if you think you're a lawyer or if you think you're good at arguing, because you won't be armed with relevant facts and you'd be a terrible lawyer.

I'm suggesting that believing you are this, or that, is the first moment of action. The follow through is still required before you become a lawyer or a hockey player in reality.

I didn't mean what I said literally.
 
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@IDOM

Great video. That was good.

I'm with you on what you're saying too. The way you put it is kind of how I justify what I do, to myself. But my boss wouldn't get it. He'd say, "Stop all that nonsense. Finish your work, and I'll pay for beer."
 
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directorik said:
If you don't want to do all that work, don't do it. Right now
that's what you're doing; not making movies. You don't seem
to be happy NOT making movies.
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This reminds me of something I've heard before. Maybe you've heard it before too.

It goes something like this.

Many people give up on painting (substitute writing, filmmaking, whatever). After all, it can be a pain, painful, a drag, thankless, hard work, unsupported by others, unpaid, discouraging, hard to find the time, etc.

And maybe that's it. Maybe they never pick it up again; and that's the case for many people.

What may have to happen for those who do pick it up again (or perhaps start in the first place) is for it to become more painful to not paint than it is to paint.

Substitute paint for whatever. Maybe filmmaking.

So if filmmaking (or whatever) is for you, it might not be bliss, or joy, or a certainty that it's your calling which ultimately motivates you to do it. It may in fact be pain. Discomfort in not doing it, if it's something you must do.

Like it's been mentioned, painting, writing, filmmaking, composing are hard work. They might also be fun at times. But even people who are blessed with the certainty that they love doing those things have to work hard at them. They too have to "fight their way through" at times.

There are people involved in the business of filmmaking who don't need passion. They don't need to enjoy it. They do what they do because it's their day job. It's their livelihood. It pays legal tender, etc.

If you're doing something like filmmaking, writing, or painting just because you want to, then you might need a passion for it. Passion is what will get you through the pain or the drudgery of it. At least, some amount of passion is likely to help.

I don't think following your bliss and following your passion are mutually exclusive though. In fact, I think it's likely that you'll find your bliss if you follow your passion.

Speaking from experience, it can, unfortunately, be difficult to figure out what your passion(s) is.

Maybe you're just in a rut. Maybe given time it will become more painful to not lug your gear to the park and shoot something than it is painful to lug your gear to the park and shooting something.

Or maybe not.

By the way, there's also nothing wrong with being a dabbler. A hobbyist. Or not having a burning passion for it. Sometimes you get to the park. Sometimes you won't.

Just like it's okay to not be a professional filmmaker. Well, depending on your goals and expectations.
 
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trueindie said:
I didn't mean what I said literally.
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I'm a person who means what I say. I expect the same from others.
Unfairly, I guess.

I understand better. The first thing needed to go into any avocation
or vocation is to believe you can do it – to want to do it. But one
must act to be called a (fill-in-the-blank). I agree with that.
 
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Thanks for all the replies everyone, I read all of them.

I think the biggest reason I have this problem is because I consider my life to be almost at rock bottom right now (almost, but I know other people have it way worse than I do.) So my motivation is always low from feeling like shit all the time.

I've been watching motivation success videos (like the strangest secret) on youtube and even though I haven't really been following what they say to do, they have pushed me a little bit in the right direction.

I know it takes hard work to be good at what you want to. I was watching a press conference for that electronic band called (Krewella) and they talk about how they decided one day to drop everything (work, social life) and work on their craft of making music every single day. For their hit single 'Alive' (the one that made them famous), the head guy created a very good instrumental (a hit worthy instrumental) and the lead singer had to make lyrics and a melody to it. For 2 weeks she phoned the manager and told him "I can't do it." She eventually stuck with it, pushed past the challenges, and was able to help create their #1 song.

In strangest secret I remember a quote where someone said "The people that stick with a problem and don't stop until they conquer it are the successful people in this world".

Me and my brother first filmed this small 12 second scene 4 or 5 years ago. It was total shit and we still have it on youtube. We used to go the park everyday (but only for around an hour - an hour and a half) and work on it. We eventually started making it look better but still had no idea what It took to make it look cinematic. We upgraded our equipment to a T3I and a better steadicam a year later. I think this is by luck (and some camera experimenting from my brother), we were able to make this scene look very cinematic and when I made this thread 1 week ago it's because we couldn't replicate what we created
a couple years ago with upgraded equipment (a gimbal and a bmpcc). But for the past couple days we've been going back out and yesterday we made some huge progress and are coming close to replicating that "luck scene" with our upgraded equipment so now I have motivation to go out there and film my ass off and get this done.

The scene was re-shot yesterday is now looking like a "movie scene". It still needs tweaking but we're about to go out in about an hour and go film it again and won't stop until it's perfect.

I have about 3 or 4 different versions of this same scene on my youtube channel throughout the past 5 years so If I'm ever able to create this looking its best it would be nice to be able to show everyone the different "noob" phases we went through.

This is apart of that $8000 shoot we failed and we still plan on getting it done but we might try to shoot it for less money if we can. It's good we cancelled it 5% in because we weren't ready at all.
 
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