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watch Footage for current comercial project

W

wheatgrinder

EDIT: The spot is finished and can be viewed here:
http://www.poptent.net/media/29818



Still working on VO, typography etc..

but I need some early feedback on the look and feel..

here is the edited footage.
http://www.poptent.net/media/28270


Im curious if you get a sense of the "story" or at least an emotional response without the VO and other stuff. Obviously its about SOMETHING but even as a stand alone piece of art, it kinda works for me.. how about you?


Tech stuff.
Camera: GH2
Lenses: Canon FD 28m f2.8 and Canon FD 50mm f1.4
Shoot @ 720/60p (wanted that slowmo thing..)
Rendered at 1920x1080 I thought it held up very well to upscale.
Post processing: Lots of blemish removal. Its quite amazing, Ill have to post some of the BEFORE at some point.

Known Issues:
The wide shots have a plastic look. I can fix that
A few of the "Woman" close ups have a "haze" going on.. just need to pop the contrast a bit..
I like this music (again from stock20.com) for this, but I paid little attention to fitting it in prior to rendering, I just wanted something to sorta work for now..


comments?
 
Last edited:
wheatgrinder said:
but I need some early feedback on the look and feel..
Im curious if you get a sense of the "story" or at least an emotional response without the VO and other stuff.
Click to expand...
Not knowing what the final commercial project's goal is is kinda limiting, but... this looks generally fine.

Seems to be mother "just a wee bit" overly helping out her daughter get ready for a costume dress-up social event.
Can't tell if that's costume or heirloom jewelery.
Twice the pleasantly patient daughter puts down her mom's preening hands, that whatever she's spending too much time fiddling with is really okay, in fact it looks like daughter reassuringly tells her loving mom "I got it. It's okay" @ 1:08.
Mom just wants to spend a little more time with her daughter.
Make the moment last.
Let it sink in.
Her beautiful little girl is getting so big now.
"Yeah, mom! I know! I AM a big girl. It's okay. Really."

Now, maybe I'm seeing stuff that isn't there, but the daughter's eye shift @ 1:22-24 communicates "It's time to go now".
Don't know if that moment is critical to the story or not.

Story is 65% about the daughter's (immediate) future, but the mom's 35% of story is deeper.
(But I'm a dad with a little girl, so I'm biased, of course).


Hit/miss?
 
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The footage looks terrific. Also, I think your leading ladies did some nice acting.

Straw poll -- how many people think wheatgrinder will be transitioning to a new (and successful) career, in the foreseable future?

:hi:
 
Cracker Funk said:
The footage looks terrific. Also, I think your leading ladies did some nice acting.

Straw poll -- how many people think wheatgrinder will be transitioning to a new (and successful) career, in the foreseable future?

:hi:
Click to expand...
Agreed.
I like his unabashed aggressive style at getting all this film making gobbledygook under his belt.
When I grow up I wanna.... waitaminit. I am grown up. Never mind.

Hope you have tail lights Mr. Scott. I'm a few steps behind you. Don't stop, please. :D
 
wheatgrinder said:
ah.. Im fealin love.. now shut up and get off of my lawn! Geeze, kids today!

(rayw, thats my official forum catch phrase!)
Click to expand...


Which part?
The "ah.. Im fealin love.. " part?
The "now shut up and get off of my lawn!" part?
Or the "Geeze, kids today!" part?

Hope not the latter. I think you only got me by five years. ;)


Speaking of lawns and just to prove how worthless an idea is, I was driving down a country road today, deep South, and saw a lantern boy lawn ornament for... like the first time in a coon's age.
resin%20lawn%20ornaments.jpg


And I thought to myself "WTH kind of life it must've been when you could pay someone to actually stand at your front gate (as if!) with a lantern all night most every night to welcome guests"?

Is there a story there?

Is there a story here?
!Bot3hKQBWk~$(KGrHqMH-C8EuZKlzpQwBLokK(qvgg~~_35.JPG


There are the mindless stories, but what about something... special?

I'll shut up and get off you lawn, now.
G'nite!


Ray
 
I like it, it's emotional. touching. Nice photography. It's a mother and daughter presumably?
My criticism is you're not selling. Is it a spot for a necklace store? I feel I should know what product you're selling.
I've done a lot of commercial video production. sell sell sell. There's a series of commercials I love and hate. The "Messing With Sasquatch" series is hilarious. But personally I think it's an epic fail in term of the sell. Those commercials entertain me to no end, but they don't for a second want to make me buy beef jerkey -- and I'm not even sure that's the product. See if this makes you want to buy a food product: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyVsHNEBeBk&feature=related
 
brianluce said:
I like it, it's emotional. touching. Nice photography. It's a mother and daughter presumably?
My criticism is you're not selling. Is it a spot for a necklace store? I feel I should know what product you're selling.
I've done a lot of commercial video production. sell sell sell. There's a series of commercials I love and hate. The "Messing With Sasquatch" series is hilarious. But personally I think it's an epic fail in term of the sell. Those commercials entertain me to no end, but they don't for a second want to make me buy beef jerkey -- and I'm not even sure that's the product. See if this makes you want to buy a food product: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyVsHNEBeBk&feature=related
Click to expand...

Hey brianluce (i read that as brain juice dont know why?) anyway..
Interesting you point out the necklace. In the current rev, I cut that entire bit out.. so now its not about ANY PRODUCTS, at least visually..lol A newer rev is available now, with VO (something wrong with the encoding so don't mind the crappy compressed audio sound)

http://www.poptent.net/media/29818
 
I guess I'm too late, but...:) At the beginning the guitar seems a little "metallic" maybe something a little

more organic, like a hard or even a classical guitar. Then when the orchestral movement starts it feels

a little early, maybe it would feel better around 00:36. Then at 00:54, I wouldn't have the young

lady speaking. You can tell she says "I got it." Would have had her do it with her mouth and eyes,

like she does at 1:01. The the orchestral movement stops about 2 seconds too soon. It would be

nice if it ended when we see her unveil, and even then I would add a "splash" type cymbal, or

something like that, to give that "I broke out, I'm free!!" feel. Then at the end I would return to the

opening music, that way it feels circular. The way it is, it just kinda peters out. Also I would cut the

final logo by about 2-3 seconds, but maybe there's some timing criteria you have to meet.

I thought is was good. Better than I could do. :)
 
Pretty well done.
Clearly the best entry.


Interesting that they provided a music bit >60 seconds.
Nice VO dialog you've scripted, as well.
And I think you're getting good usage from your VO service. How do you communicate to them where the inflections in the delivery need to be placed?

GL!
 
The music is from stock20.com, not perfect but great when your on a short time line.

for VO speedyspots.com just does their thing... all I sent was this..



Tone and Feel: Sincere, sensitive power mom, see this visual for inspiration (link to the original visual I posted, now deleted)

---START SCRIPT ---


Teenage girls face tough pressures everyday.

It can feel like the entire world is watching,

picking out every flaw and imperfection.



As caring parents, we want to lift away these burdens,

and help them to see themselves as they truly are.



Beautiful.

Gifted .

Strong.



Sometimes a simple change,

Such as choosing to wear Acuvue brand contact lenses,

can give them the self confidence they need to succeed.



Our teens trust us to take care of their eyes.


--- END SCRIPT ----

The spot is by invite only, so I get $200 just for submitting something. Chaching!



rayw said:
Pretty well done.
Clearly the best entry.


Interesting that they provided a music bit >60 seconds.
Nice VO dialog you've scripted, as well.
And I think you're getting good usage from your VO service. How do you communicate to them where the inflections in the delivery need to be placed?

GL!
Click to expand...
 
I think the final product looks great, better than allot of commercials I see on TV! I think you nailed it, and I hope you get the spot, that'd be sick!

I would have chopped it differently, but I think every one here would, n that's the beauty of editing!!!
 
Thanks Phil,
Im happy with the two c notes for the chance to practice and work on my skills! Im working on a simple 1 scene script for a 2 min short that I plan to shoot at my place? Feel like coming out a few evenings and working my cam for me?
 
For sure man! Any thing I can do to help!! Shoot me a text and let me know what days you where thinking n I'll clear it with the old lady. We just had our first kid (Daughter, Zemara Rose, born 5/5/11) so I just have to clear things with my lady before I commit to any thing for the next week or two. Still getting usta parental life, it's worth every sleepless second!
 
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