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Dialouge...
- Thread starter JayBird
- Start date
Tips for writing dialog:
. Listen to how real people talk, especially females.
. Use voices of your friends to imagine characters.
. Dialects change with character background, so know where your character is from.
. What works on page may not work on camera, have someone say it out loud.
. It's motion picture. Don't say too much, show plenty.
.
. Listen to how real people talk, especially females.
. Use voices of your friends to imagine characters.
. Dialects change with character background, so know where your character is from.
. What works on page may not work on camera, have someone say it out loud.
. It's motion picture. Don't say too much, show plenty.
.
I've struggled with it. But it gets easier with practice.
A lot of conversation is redundant. Studies by psychologists have found that only about 5-10% of what we say is needed to understand the context. Everyday conversation, when put on the movie screen, seems to be stretched out.
So rather than stifle yourself, write out the conversation as you hear it. Then go back and pick out the key idea(s). Then hack it down to the essentials and use visuals/actions to help carry some of the meaning.
Code:
DAVE is standing beside STU behind stage. The crews are moving
props about.
DAVE
So you're telling me that Janet knew all along that
I was behind the curtain and could hear her! Why
that wicked little .... She could have stopped this.
STU
Hey, I'm just telling you what I heard, man. You know
how Gina likes to run her mouth. Well, I heard her
talking on the phone to Roxy telling her all about
Janet's little scheme.So I just freewrite what is playing out knowing it will undergo revision later. Too many new writers want it right the first time. It just doesn't happen. The first rule of writing is that there will be a rewrite. (Even after a 'finished' script is optioned, it is likely to experience a re-write!).
Okay, ouch that dialogue segment hurts. It's LONG and comes across as talking heads. Now I need to revise it. So what is the real point to the dialogue above? -- Janet knew. What part of this could be shown visually? Stu seems a bit intimidated. So we will be ruthless here.
Eliminate progressive tenses from the actions/descriptions--no "is standing" or "are moving".
Separate actions by different characters and descriptions.
Look at implicit ideas--the character says "I hear", "I see" that would be obvious. [If he was behind the curtain OBVIOUSLY he could hear her. He doesn't need to say that.]
Show rather than Tell--Dave is angry so have that come across.
Code:
Stagehands move about props.
Dave advances towards Stu backstage.
DAVE
Janet knew I was behind the curtain! That wicked little ....
She could have stopped this.
Stu backs away and throws up his hands.
STU
Hey, I'm just telling you. You know how Gina runs
her mouth. Well, she was on the phone telling Roxy
all about Janet's little scheme.This is much improved. It gives me a visual reference. Obviously if Dave is behind the curtain, he can hear.
Most of Stu's words were filler. With some editing, we cut from 63 words to 40 and made it more visual. The other side, is that shorter lines are much easier for actors to remember.
Good luck.
SOrry, lost the structure, one second...
The additional text is great for direction, but extraneous and confusing to actors. It may seem that there's not much going on, still.
Everything's action, now. It's an example of characters not so much talking about what they're thinking, and acting on what they're feeling. But may be a poor example, as I can only infer so much from the short scene that was given.
Code:
Stagehands move about props.
Dave advances towards Stu backstage.
DAVE
Janet knew I was behind the curtain! That wicked little ....
She could have stopped this.
Stu backs away and throws up his hands.
STU
Hey, I'm just telling you. You know how Gina runs her mouth.
Well, she was on the phone telling Roxy all about Janet's
little scheme.The additional text is great for direction, but extraneous and confusing to actors. It may seem that there's not much going on, still.
Code:
INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME
Stagehands shuffle props here and there.
Dave weaves through the disorder, grabs a
prop short sword, weighs it and nods with approval.
He approaches Stu... who notices what Dave's brandishing.
[CENTER]STU
Don't kill the messenger... [/center]Everything's action, now. It's an example of characters not so much talking about what they're thinking, and acting on what they're feeling. But may be a poor example, as I can only infer so much from the short scene that was given.
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One trick is to read your dialogue out loud. Or act out conversations before/as you write them. You'll pick up almost immediately if something sounds weird if you're actually saying it. Just remember not to make everyone sound like you. Alternatively, have your computer read it aloud to you when you're done. Has close to the same effect, and can help if you find that you're making everyone sound like you when you read it aloud.
Beautiful little addition. The point of my short contrived example is to show how to take a freewritten talking heads segment, examine it, and pull out what is relevant. The addition of visualized actions help to build up to a scene, depending on other issues such as backstory.
It is important not to throw away too much dialogue as well. There are many action rich/dialogue poor movies. There is a wide range of opinions as to action statements. And reading a wide variety of scripts you will see little consensus, even in box office hits.
Described actions should be central to the plot and allow creative interpretation. In my mind's eye, I just saw the two men standing close near the curtain ropes. They are friends. The anger was not directed specifically at Stu. So for me, drawing a sword is a bit over the top from what I wanted--more of an angry Chandler pulling aside Joey ("Friends"). But as it was an example without context, it was a reasonable addition to illustrate showing how to visually enhance a scene. It's best to keep action statements to no more than four sentences.
However, the comments are relevant to writing good dialogue, which should never be simply an exchange with no action breaking it up.
It is important not to throw away too much dialogue as well. There are many action rich/dialogue poor movies. There is a wide range of opinions as to action statements. And reading a wide variety of scripts you will see little consensus, even in box office hits.
Described actions should be central to the plot and allow creative interpretation. In my mind's eye, I just saw the two men standing close near the curtain ropes. They are friends. The anger was not directed specifically at Stu. So for me, drawing a sword is a bit over the top from what I wanted--more of an angry Chandler pulling aside Joey ("Friends"). But as it was an example without context, it was a reasonable addition to illustrate showing how to visually enhance a scene. It's best to keep action statements to no more than four sentences.
However, the comments are relevant to writing good dialogue, which should never be simply an exchange with no action breaking it up.
Right right, out of context of an entire scene is a tough one. Indeed, it was an example to show the same thing. With the sword, that's where direction comes in, and to me what really makes a script a movie. One person's vision and tone definitely varies, so while it's one way to another, when put on screen it's different to the next.
Weird how that works.
In the end, as well, adhering to too many rules on writing means certain destruction to what the process is. It's also a good tip to remember.
Once you've taken the courses, throw them out and create.
As writing progresses with the tech, conventions can go out of the window.
Some of our most successful writers recognize rules, employ them as they see fit.
That's the mark of a writer, to me, anyway.
Weird how that works.
In the end, as well, adhering to too many rules on writing means certain destruction to what the process is. It's also a good tip to remember.
Once you've taken the courses, throw them out and create.
As writing progresses with the tech, conventions can go out of the window.
Some of our most successful writers recognize rules, employ them as they see fit.
That's the mark of a writer, to me, anyway.
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