watch Carl Sends a Message (Comedy Short 2:56)

[Vihtic]

I've just uploaded the second video of a series that I made about a mischievous toy dinosaur. I'm posting it here to ask for some constructive criticism on the finished video. I would very much appreciate it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv0N1YsLyB4

Some things I already know I have to work on:

• Music choice and placement
• Pacing
• How I reveal information
• Color correction

If you see anything you think I can work on, please comment

Thanks a lot,
Sean

 

[ItDonnedOnMe]

Overall pretty good, I think you tell the story well and it flows effectively.

I'd say lighting would be a place you could improve things - turn off the overheads, add a desk lamp, sidelight offscreen to light up Carl, etc. The big white flat wall in the opening wide shots doesn't look great, but changing up the lighting could break that up.

Also the blurred out pictures just look odd - there's got to be a creative way you could shoot around that so that you don't show the pictures clearly enough that you need to blur them.

Maybe something else at the end too. The final shot of Carl snapping didn't end things particularly strongly, not sure what else to suggest though.

 

[Vihtic]

Overall pretty good, I think you tell the story well and it flows effectively.

I'd say lighting would be a place you could improve things - turn off the overheads, add a desk lamp, sidelight offscreen to light up Carl, etc. The big white flat wall in the opening wide shots doesn't look great, but changing up the lighting could break that up.

Also the blurred out pictures just look odd - there's got to be a creative way you could shoot around that so that you don't show the pictures clearly enough that you need to blur them.

Maybe something else at the end too. The final shot of Carl snapping didn't end things particularly strongly, not sure what else to suggest though.

Thanks a ton, that's exactly the advice I was looking for. I do need to work on the lighting. I tend to get lazy and just ditch that part of production but now I'm realizing how important it is.

And I did realize that too at the end. I was thinking about adding a short scene of an old lady gasping at a computer monitor, but I didn't want the project to take much longer than a few days shooting in my room and editing. I'll definitely change that next time though.

Thanks again!