Thank you for the feedback - I'm going to go back to the drawing board of my outline and rethink my main theme - I wanted to ask - what would the proper formatting be for a series of shots and how is that different to a montage?
When referring to adjectives when describing characters is there a limit to how many I should use as I would like to avoid the risk of overwriting?
Also, regarding character voice - how can I make this distinguishable - I know often times when we talk in real life our grammar is off etc but I also know that dialogue in a script can't mimic this as each character might represent a theme? Would the solution be subtext?
Regarding passive voice, how can I address this in my writing? Is it a matter of using present tense more often or am I missing the trick here?
A montage is used to convey a theme... i.e., all your shots in the montage contribute to and reinforce the same idea or mini-story. Think ROCKY and his training montages.
A series of shots is usually used to speed up the time within a series of events rather than tell a complete story.
As for the formatting of a series of shots... LOL. You can Google that you know but it's probably a good thing you asked since you didn't format your montage correctly anyway.
There is no hard and fast rule about most screenwriting elements. The trick is to be CLEAR and CONCISE so what you've formatted doesn't slow down the read and is CLEARLY UNDERSTANDABLE.
One way to format a series of shots...
SERIES OF SHOTS - ARMORED GUARDS SCAN TEENAGERS
A) Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
B) Tall Thin Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
C) Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
I've also seen LETTERS used without the closing parenthetical and substituting a period in its place.
SERIES OF SHOTS - ARMORED GUARDS SCAN TEENAGERS
A. Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
B. Tall Thin Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
C. Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
I've seen numbers used instead of letters in both ways I've described. I've seen a complete master scene heading used with SERIES OF SHOTS also used right next to it like this...
INT. CLAPHAM LIBRARY - SERIES OF SHOTS - DAY
1) Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
2) Tall Thin Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
3) Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
I've seen single dash marks used instead of both letters or numbers like this...
SERIES OF SHOTS - ARMORED GUARDS SCAN TEENAGERS
- Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
- Tall Thin Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
- Short Stocky Guard scans a teenager -- green light.
I could actually go on but I don't want to... I think you should get the idea from what I've written.
Let me be clear as to the number of adjectives (theme) you should give your characters. I did NOT say to use these when describing characters but yes... When you INTRO a character, I would very likely use an adjective or two to add to the intro and then pick the BEST one of the two as context to write the character's dialogue. This does something very subconsciously to your Reader(s) i.e., it sets up the personality of your character and the dialogue REINFORCES the personality of the character.
Make sense? Something you won't get in a screenwriting article or book. But again? This is just HOW I DO IT and not THE way to do it.
Assuming you want to use this particular technique... I've personally found that using only one adjective is best for me personally (to write dialogue) because writing within the context of that theme gives my character a very clear and distinct voice when used consistently throughout the script. I would never use more than two but as I said... One is usually enough in most cases.
And? None of what I just wrote about using a theme should be confused with overwriting... LOL. Again, I never said that this technique would lead to overwriting... In fact? Your overwriting had NOTHING to do with that at all.
You wrote:
Also, regarding character voice - how can I make this distinguishable - I know often times when we talk in real life our grammar is off etc but I also know that dialogue in a script can't mimic this as each character might represent a theme? Would the solution be subtext?
First off? You should, as a general rule... Always go for subtext with all your character's dialogue except maybe with small children, law enforcement and authoritative characters depending on the scene. They tend to speak more on-the-nose but yet again... This is NOT a hard and fast rule. Just something to be aware of.
As I've already said... If you give your characters their own theme -- a theme that sets them apart from other characters, and then write their dialogue WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF THAT THEME, your characters will be distinguishable from one another.
You wrote:
Regarding passive voice, how can I address this in my writing? Is it a matter of using present tense more often or am I missing the trick here?
It's actually very EASY to address it in your writing... LOL. DON'T USE IT. How easy was that? There is not nearly enough space here for me to give you all my thoughts on passive vs. active voice when it comes to writing but it is an actual THING to be aware of in both writing screenplays and fiction especially when it comes to OVERWRITING.
Here's a few links to get you started... I highly recommend you research everything I've talked about here instead of just winging it especially if your idea is to eventually sell your screenplay(s). Research it until you fully understand it and have no need to ask any more questions about it.
Active vs. Passive Voice
Active Versus Passive Voice
Use the active voice
GRAMMAR AND MECHANICS Active and Passive Voice
Active and Passive Voice
