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A Plead for Opinions

M

MasterDisaster

Greetings.

I am currently in development of my final major project on my film & television college course. Our group has decided that we would like to make a short drama and have generated the following synopsis:

A man manages to escape hospital while suffering retrograde amnesia. With all of his memory removed, he attempts to find his way to a home and family that may or may not exist by using photographs of different locations found on himself after the escape.

We would like this to be an artist piece, original soundtrack, narration, 2 - 4 minutes long and such.

If we could get any feedback on the idea in any form we would be very appreciative.

Thanks!
 
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The premise is very interesting. However, I think(I'm not a professional, so please feel free to discard this personal opinion) it would be hard to convey this whole story within just 4 minutes. On the other hand, I realized just how much can you write in 1-2 pages. This has story potential for both a drama and a thriller. This idea is very versatile indeed, for, depending on your budget and screenplay, the story can flow in multiple directions. I mean: What if the hospital staff chases him in the meantime? What if it's action packed? What if the man's family is in trouble and he has to rescue them from a psycho? and many more. Anyway, I wish you best of luck with this!:)
 
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MasterDisaster said:
Greetings.
Welcome to Earth.

I am currently in development of my final major project on my film & television college course.
Wow. A 2 - 4 minute long short qualifies as a "major project" for a college course.
Such a low bar.
FANTASTIC!
I LOVE IT!

Our group has decided that we would like to make a short drama and have generated the following synopsis:
Well... not to be conceptually nit-picky, but if your group has already "decided" then there's not much left room left for feedback, is there?

A man manages to escape hospital while suffering retrograde amnesia. With all of his memory removed, he attempts to find his way to a home and family that may or may not exist by using photographs of different locations found on himself after the escape.
Amnesia stories are filmmaking's neuvo-cliché genré.
vomito.gif

If that's what your group has decided to go with then "Yay." Yawn
yawn.gif


We would like this to be an artist piece, original soundtrack, narration, 2 - 4 minutes long and such.
Fantastic.
Perfect.

If we could get any feedback on the idea in any form we would be very appreciative.
Do a different story.
Almost anything, really (Other than five random teens go to make a film at a cabin in the woods where they are murdered one by one by a psycho. Also a big yawner
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)
See also → http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=45685

Try creating a relevant contemporary short story using the links below.

Thanks!
You're welcome!
Click to expand...

Finding a Source:
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=41762
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=39512
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=310271#post310271
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=263590#post263590

Developing the Idea
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=47026
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsyjRZagXJnadHo3UlVyeWRia0dxVng2SE56T0J6TkE#gid=0


Good luck! :yes:
 
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rayw said:
Finding a Source:
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=41762
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=39512
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=310271#post310271
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=263590#post263590

Developing the Idea
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=47026
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsyjRZagXJnadHo3UlVyeWRia0dxVng2SE56T0J6TkE#gid=0


Good luck! :yes:
Click to expand...

Appreciate the feedback. I don't think that the length of the film signifies whether the film can be titled 'major' or not, but that's irrelevant.

Yeah, we already had the idea set. A fault of my own, once I have my heart set on an film idea (or in this case the outline of a film idea), I feel the need to constantly stick to it. I was asking for feedback or any possible tweaks towards the project.

I completely agree, it's more-or-less a cliché film synopsis, which is why our aims are to avoid the obvious twists and pointless violence (ect) contained in these type of films and to do something different with a positive conclusion as oppose to the ordinary dark and gloomy dose of depression.

We feel very positive that we can make this storyline work if produced correctly, but you have opened our eyes to some flaws that we could have made in the production
 
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Well, since you insist...

Let's get out the lipstick.
lspig1.jpg


You'll need to provide a more detailed description of the story for anyone to help tweak it.


What are the primary settings the short will require?
Some sort of medical facility? Vehicle or mode of transportation from points A-B-C-D?
Destination A & B?
Do you know that you have these?

Amnesic protagonist - a must.
Who are the other characters he interacts with?
Is his conflict entirely internal with the amnesia or is there an external conflict as well, for instance with another person(s) or transportation?

Is there a conclusive resolution or does the cliché carry out to its fullest extent with a cliché "unresolved, this is the state he's in we now leave him with you"?

At the end what is it that he now understands?
 
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