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1st Draft: America Love Story

(电影剧本)《美国爱情故事》
(Screenplay)《America love story》

作者 徐均赛
Author Junsai Xu

前言
Preface

非常有把握地说,当代,至少到目前为止,《美国爱情故事》实属世界上最伟大的描写爱情的杰作。
I persuade you of its truth in confident of success very much,In the contemporary era,Up to now at least,《America love story》really belongs to the greatest masterpiece that has been portrayed love in the world.

言及此地,异议丛生,肯定要问,为什么会自我作秀,出语惊人,甚至狂妄,来进行这样的界定呢?
Saying something here'to,Objections are overgrowing,Somebody surely want to ask,Why do you put on a show self,To speak astonishingly,Even wildly arrogant,Conducted such a define?

那么,就应该直截了当地指出,之所以要把《美国爱情故事》归类为无以伦比的绚丽灿烂的美好崇高的作品,是因为绝对地具有着历史的社会的内在的科学根据。也即如果在总体上进行举例,归纳,推理,其基础则鉴于下面条分缕析地提供出来的事实存在客观情况研究成果。
Then,I should straightforwardly indicate at once,The reason that demands 《America love story》 be classified into a beyond compare,a gorgeous glorious,a fragrant sublime production,Be due absolutely to possess historical,social,internal science basis. Namely on the whole, if I conducted illustration,induction,ratiocination,Its base in consideration of the following provided for factual existence,objective condition,research result in analyzing point by point.


1

众所周知,美国是世界文化汇聚冶炼的大熔炉。四百多年来,成千上万的移民始终不断地涌现,定居,生存。因为这样,在各个国家之间,在各个民族之间,在各个人种之间,由此及彼,互相通婚,组建家庭,混血交配,生衍繁殖,从而形成了质量非常优越的人力资源长河,深入地变化为促进全面繁荣最根本的能量,或者至少也应该列入为最主要的原因之一。
As is known to all,America is the great furnace in the world culture convergence refinement. More than four hundred years,Thousands and thousands of immigrants always have constantly been sprung up,settled down,subsisted. Because of this,Among different countries,Among different nationalities,Among different races,Proceed from the one to the other,Intermarriage each other,Forming families,Miscegenation copulation,Fertility reproduction,Consequently emerged the human resources long river that the quality is highly superior,Deep becoming the most fundamental energy that promoted a comprehensive prosperity,Perhaps should also be included one of the main reasons at least.

可见,移民婚姻,在规模上,在程度上,在归类上,美国应该毫无疑问地在各个国家当中,是最有特色的,是独占鳌头的,是蔚为奇观的。并且,作为基本的国策,已经成大势所趋,过去绝对是如此,现在依然还这样,将来也不会变化。从而在漫长的时光隧道中,不断沉淀,创造出了属于整个人类的极其宝贵的共同享有的财富。
Be seen,Migratory marriage,In scale,In degree,In classification,Among different countries,America should certainly be the most characteristic,Coming out on top, Affording a wonder. Moreover,As a basically national policy,It has become the general trend,The past was absolutely in this way,Being like that as before now,And also will not change in the future. Thereby in a endless time tunnel,Continuously precipitated,Having created a belonging to the entire human race,a extremely valuable,an all sharing enjoyment in the wealth.

问题在于,虽然早已经记录下了有关这方面的林林总总信息,但在文学中,但在美学中,但在影学中,曾几何时有过描写,有过强调,有过研究?这也就非常明确地告诉我们,探索重要题材的行为的本身,毋容置疑地也就决定了是在,开掘着事物所包含的伟大性。所以时至今日,《美国爱情故事》的崭新建构终于填补了长久遗留下来的空白,使之绝对能够不同凡响地跻身于科学发展史上巍峨高耸的殿堂。
The problem lie in,Although it had already recorded the numerously relevant information for this aspect,In literature,In aesthetics,In filmology,Once upon a time had it been described? Had it been emphasized? Had it been researched?This also clearly tell us very much,The act itself that we explored some important themes,And also decided to be undoubtedly digging the greatness of object included. Therefore at the present day,The completely new construction of 《America love story》has eventually filled in the gaps left over for a long time,Being absolutely so outstanding that it could ascend among the towering soaring palaces in the scientifically developmental history .
 
Please browse the expert’s advice.


Hello Junsai,
We received your screenplay submission today, and are unfortunately are unable to process your submission in its present state. Currently, your script reads as a short story, and is not in screenplay format based on current industry standards. I have attached a couple examples of proper screenplay formatting to give you an idea of what your script should look like. You are welcome to reformat your script and submit again, but in its present state it will not advance in the competition and it wouldn’t be right to take your money. We will mail back your money order and entry form.
Thank you for understanding and please let me know if you have any questions.
 
That's great! How nice of them to refund your money and offer examples
of proper screenplay format.

Screenplay format is essential and quite easy to master. It may be a great
story but if it's not in the proper format then it isn't a screenplay.
 
That's great! How nice of them to refund your money and offer examples
of proper screenplay format.

Screenplay format is essential and quite easy to master. It may be a great
story but if it's not in the proper format then it isn't a screenplay.


I replied: please do not refund small fee. Very troublesome. I only want to offer you a cup of coffee.
 
That's great! How nice of them to refund your money and offer examples
of proper screenplay format.

Screenplay format is essential and quite easy to master. It may be a great
story but if it's not in the proper format then it isn't a screenplay.


Business is business. Please help me market the screenplay after rewriting. I ask you to drink at least five thousand cups of coffee.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

FADE IN:

The harmony pavilion.

The stele.

The film title:America Love Story

The song Una Paloma Blanca began to ring.

Having a bird's eye view of the whole area from high altitude.

The list of the actors, the actresses, the staffs.

Subtitles:in the spring of 2006, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

The greenwood avenue extended forward.

Some people were in a long running, in a sliding plate, in a going for walk, in a riding bike, in a whirling dribble, in a being playing.

The list of the actors, the actresses, the staffs.

On a grassy lawn, there was a girl, throwing a frisbee, the dog was leaping, catching the frisbee by its opening mouth.

The song Una Paloma Blanca ceased.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

UPPERPART

1, EXT. GREENWOOD AVENUE - DAY

Dazhi Tang was easily striding.

MARGARET
(hinting)
The Chinese is coming soon.

JOANNA
(warming up)
Today, you look about, I am bound to exceed him in eight hundred meters!

Dazhi Tang has arrived, said hello each other, invited them to an exercise together.

Joanna and Margaret were taking the lead in starting.

Dazhi Tang was behind them.

Margaret was unable to continue running.

MARGARET
(breathing)
Joanna is the top-notch player in a long distance run, can you catch up with her?

DAZHI TANG
Let me have a try for it.

MARGARET
I am afraid that you can't do.

DAZHI TANG
Really? Lady should be originally given priority;therefore, I Just now admit defeat candidly.

Dazhi Tang high-fived with Margaret, and catching up with Joanna.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

4, EXT. GREENWOOD AVENUE – DAY

Dazhi Tang was suddenly increasing his horsepower.

Joanna hasn't perceived the changing situation.

JOANNA
(attempted to hinder)
Hey! Man, do you know whether you will concede to this girl a little or not?

DAZHI TANG
(constantly eluded)
Hey! A big young lady, do you understand there to be some cheat on an arena?

JOANNA
Dazhi Tang, camouflaging, making a sneak attack, becoming invalid!

DAZHI TANG
Joanna,don't worry, take it easy, you would win!

Dazhi Tang was smoothly passing through the road.

Joanna was halted by the traffic light.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

7, EXT. HARMONY PAVILION – DAY

The vehicle of selling frozen foods was approaching.

A lot of people were going into action.

DAZHI TANG
Please wait a moment,I am going to buy ice cream.

MARGARET
(waved aside)
We're not children ……

DAZHI TANG
There absolutely is nothing wrong, however I believe, when you enjoy greatly, you are bound to appreciate for more than children.

JOANNA
(lightly pushing Dazhi Tang)
Yeah, that is right, correct, I want to eat.

Dazhi Tang took back six ice cream cone. Joanna three pieces, Margaret two pieces, and he one piece.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

10, EXT. HARMONY PAVILION – DAY

DAZHI TANG
Joanna,how have you also smoked a cigarette?

JOANNA
Nothing,Margaret has given me a smoke.

MARGARET
What is the matter? Have you taken us as your girlfriend? Your management is also very strict.

DAZHI TANG
Oh no,there should be no relationship with friends. Merely the smoke gas hurts too much certainly.

MARGARET
Then you are a dealer in casino,still being passive smoking day by day?

DAZHI TANG
Now that we have immigrated into the United States,everyone must bow to peck and perch in objective realities.

MARGARET
You are putting the case with speaking too seriously.

DAZHI TANG
Almost everyone knows, except for smoky atmosphere, dealer's work is good. So I am after work, absolutely flying my mood, rejecting any smoke gas.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

13, EXT. GREENWOOD AVENUE – DAY

DAZHI TANG
(was unable to endure)
When you were chatting and laughing formerly, your mouth looked like a flower, gone with a intermittent fragrant wind to come over, now being a unit of the smoke smell, making people antipathetic.

JOANNA
(spoke haltingly or ambiguously)
I was out of mere curiosity, just having been smoking for a few days, although it's not too good, the problem may not be very big, why your opinion is so sharp ?

DAZHI TANG
Hey,being with relation to your health! Let it pass, just drop the matter I put one's finger in another's pie.

JOANNA
No, man, please forgive, yeah, little mistake, please loosen one yard.

DAZHI TANG
A big young lady, science insists always on right reason exactly.

Finished, Dazhi Tang flew away.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

16, EXT. GREENWOOD AVENUE – DAY

Dazhi Tang still went to buy food, but he refused to come over again, only beckoning in intention of meaning.

They got a pack of Marlboro cigarettes each, a small pot coca-cola again.

JOANNA
(was very panic)
According to your opinion, saccharide and tobacco are very bad. Why have you wanted to buy?

DAZHI TANG
(had a blank expression)
I don't know.

MARGARET
(was self-mocked)
Having a drink only drink, having a smoke only smoke, having a joy only joy, do you agree with me?

DAZHI TANG
(was in the sulks)
I don't know.

Dazhi Tang just swaggered out.

MARGARET
Dazhi Tang, Dazhi Tang, why do you don't say goodbye today?

DAZHI TANG
I don't know.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

19, EXT. GREENWOOD AVENUE – NIGHTFALL

DAZHI TANG
You are too polite. If you have some words, not hesitate to speak.

JOANNA
She has smoked less, I have already given up smoking.

DAZHI TANG
Really? Big news. Wonderful!

JOANNA
It is a fact, I dare not cheat you.

DAZHI TANG
(was extremely touched)
Gosh, according to the experience, I am very aware of the matter, in the life, who will listen to whom? So you are the best audience. Just like a diamond in the rough, you can be sculptured.

JOANNA
Then have you been not angry? Then have we compromised? Then will we be able to practise running again?

DAZHI TANG
Correct, thank you, Joanna.

JOANNA
Thank you, Dazhi Tang, see you tomorrow.

DAZHI TANG
I have to give you a ride.

JOANNA
You always are impermeable to leak out.

They lined side by side.

Dazhi Tang and Margaret sent their greetings in high-fived.
 
Hello,
First of all, I'd like to congratuate you for writing this story and posting it here! It really shows you have perseverence and the will to do this...

I think you should use a screenplay formatting program(Celtx is free) that will make sure it looks alright!:) Another thing I noticed is that you write using "ing" verbs, which is sometimes bad in a script. Every action should happen right here and now. Eg: " He walks", instead of "He is walking" or "He walked". These tenses are used in novels and short stories.

If that was your intention, then it is ok. Another sentence you used was " Joanna hasn't percieved the changing situation". In a screenplay, you shoudn't write what your characters think or feel, only what they do or how they react. Despite writing screenplays for quite some time now, I don't dare consider myself knowledgeable on this subject or being an "expert" or in a position to give advices. These are just a few things I read online...

In the end, I wanted to wish you the best of luck with this project! Please use a screenwriting software and send this script to people who can do something good with it(filmmakers, agents, etc.).... Maybe one day, I, like many others will see your work in theaters. Don't give up hope!:)
 
Hello,
First of all, I'd like to congratuate you for writing this story and posting it here! It really shows you have perseverence and the will to do this...

I think you should use a screenplay formatting program(Celtx is free) that will make sure it looks alright!:) Another thing I noticed is that you write using "ing" verbs, which is sometimes bad in a script. Every action should happen right here and now. Eg: " He walks", instead of "He is walking" or "He walked". These tenses are used in novels and short stories.

If that was your intention, then it is ok. Another sentence you used was " Joanna hasn't percieved the changing situation". In a screenplay, you shoudn't write what your characters think or feel, only what they do or how they react. Despite writing screenplays for quite some time now, I don't dare consider myself knowledgeable on this subject or being an "expert" or in a position to give advices. These are just a few things I read online...

In the end, I wanted to wish you the best of luck with this project! Please use a screenwriting software and send this script to people who can do something good with it(filmmakers, agents, etc.).... Maybe one day, I, like many others will see your work in theaters. Don't give up hope!:)



Thank you very much. You wrote for so long evaluations. Not an expert, better than experts. Commendable indeed!

On the use of present tense, your opinion was very proper. I have modified according to this.

Some films, for example, Wild Strawberries, The Seventh Seal, The Virgin Spring, affected by Psychoanalytic theory (Freud,Sigmund), Functional psychology (William James)etc deeply, belongs to the school of stream of consciousness, I do not like that. I also believe in the realism creation method. Therefore, that sentence only is just a response action.

Sun Tzu said, consider more, get more; consider less, get less; no consideration, no gain. This means that work must be first carried out feasibility study, to be effective, efforts to forge creativity. And then, in order to cultivate a share hard, have a share in harvest. Let us encourage each other.
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

22,EXT. HARMONY PAVILION – DAY

Running back, both high-‘five with Margaret.

DAZHI TANG
Now, what foods do I buy let you have a snack to stave off hunger?

MARGARET AND JOANNA
Dazhi Tang, today is……

DAZHI TANG
Oh, I have a rest today. I take you to Hibachi Grill & Supreme Buffet.

MARGARET AND JOANNA
That’s a good idea, however……

DAZHI TANG
Huh, go into action, prepare to fight, have a great treat for our mouth indeed!
 
SCREENPLAY: AMERICA LOVE STORY

25, INT. IN VEHICLE – DAY

Margaret tightly seizes Dazhi Tang by his arm.

MARGARET
How about very brightness?How about very enchantment?How about very coquettishness?

Dazhi Tang just requests that Joanna make comments on it.

JOANNA
Oho, she possesses elegant grace and looks just like a big star.

However, Margaret still requests airing his opinions from Dazhi Tang.

DAZHI TANG
I see, you should be a rose in full bloom.

Margaret immediately wants to be next to Dazhi Tang.

MARGARET
You’re a poet. Your words are too beautiful to be absorbed all at, getting along with emotionality quite well. I feel a bit dizzy.

Dazhi Tang grasps the steering wheel.

DAZHI TANG
(being all nerves)
Joanna, quickly come, drawing her aside!

JOANNA
(stiffening)
She is putting on a show, playing tricks. Do you take it seriously?

MARGARET
(sulking)
But I revealed my real intention. You must not be child's play!
 
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