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watch 1/8: Atonement

T

Tony Fiction

Being away from my own projects for several years, this is my first effort at getting myself up to speed. I've decided to film one short film each month, with each short being longer than the last. 1min, 2min, 4min, 8min, 8min, 16min, 16min, and 32min. 8 total.

I haven't done anything vfx oriented in at least 4 years, so be kind. I'm well aware this is shite, this is mostly an exercise to get myself comfortable showing my own work in a public setting, because let's be honest - it's terrifying. Enjoy.

http://bit.ly/1pg8ajz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7dk3k4-1ZI
 
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I don't think it's as bad as you're making it out to be - my main criticism would be that it's incomplete as a story, and feels more like it's just a VFX test.

Even just a hint of what it is that he's atoning for would help. For instance, an empty microwave burrito wrapper drifts by after the explosion, or brief flashes of him chugging an energy drink while he writhes in pain against the wall, or his excitement at coming upon an all-you-can eat hot-pepper bar, or mixing up an experimental formula to give himself super strength, or drinking from the holy water basin - obviously you could take the tone of the story in either a serious or comedic direction depending on what it is that caused it.
 
Hey mate,

I do agree that it looks like a VFX test and you could put some more story into it but I really love it.

Keep it up , would be extremely interested to see how your longer short films will turn out.

Good luck.
 
ItDonnedOnMe said:
Even just a hint of what it is that he's atoning for would help. For instance, an empty microwave burrito wrapper drifts by after the explosion, or brief flashes of him chugging an energy drink while he writhes in pain against the wal...
Click to expand...

The title is pretty abstract. It would make sense if you knew the whole story, but being a 1 min short, there isn't time for that. It was uninformative by design.
 
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