Good afternoon all,
I was inspired by a scene and wonder if you all will read and give me your thoughts on it. What do you all think - is it too dark? Flat? Do you find the subtle humor? Too much dialogue?
And my apologies for the format, I am still learning how to post using this code stuff.
Cheers,
Adam
I was inspired by a scene and wonder if you all will read and give me your thoughts on it. What do you all think - is it too dark? Flat? Do you find the subtle humor? Too much dialogue?
And my apologies for the format, I am still learning how to post using this code stuff.
Cheers,
Adam
Code:
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT.
JOY (30’s) and STUART (30’s) sit opposite each other. He is trying to resist bursting into tears as they finish dessert.
JOY
Stuart?…Are you okay?
STUART
Yeah. Sure. I'm fine.
JOY
Good. Well. I had a really nice time.
STUART
Yeah. Me too.
JOY
Of course, you know I've always had a nice time with you.
STUART
Same here.
JOY
But…
STUART
Yeah.
JOY
You understand.
STUART
Unh.
JOY
And you don't hate me?
STUART
No.
JOY
Cause you know I could never hate you. At the same time, I just don't think I could ever…you know…you. In the way you should be…
STUART
Yeah.
JOY
And deserve to be.
STUART
Uh huh.
JOY
Well. The food here was excellent– I'm gonna recommend it to my sisters! How many stars did it get?
STUART
Three and a half.
And the dam cracks wide open. He bawls.
A pause.
JOY
Do you feel better now?
(STUART nods)
Me too.
STUART
I'm sorry.
JOY
It's really good we had this talk.
STUART
Yeah.
JOY
Before things went too far…You know, got too serious.
STUART
Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm too serious.
JOY
No, you're not. It's me.
STUART
No, it's me.
JOY
Okay. It's you. I'm sorry.
STUART
Okay.
Pause.
JOY
'Cause I mean…
STUART
I know.
JOY
The thing is, I want to do what's right – for both of us. I spent a lot of time…examining…my heart. And I felt that you deserved my honesty.
STUART
Thanks.
Pause.
JOY
Now I just want to make you whole again.
STUART
I'm whole.
JOY
Really?
STUART
Really.
JOY
…'Cause I was afraid we wouldn't be able to be friends anymore.
STUART
(laughing, sort of)
Oh, Joy!
JOY
Oh, but you know how it is. And well, most guys…
STUART
I'm not most guys.
JOY
I know. If only most guys were like you.
STUART
But then I'd be like most guys.
JOY
(laughs)
Oh, Stuart. If only I felt the way I'd like to feel with you…Life is so unfair. It's all my fault.
STUART
I know.(a beat) Are you sure…?
JOY
Yes.
Pause.
STUART
Is it someone else?
JOY
No, it's just you.
Pause.
STUART
I want to show you something I got for you.
JOY
For me?
STUART
(hands her a gift)
Open it up.
JOY
(discovers a pewter ashtray)
Oh, but Stuart. This is…oh, this is beautiful.
STUART
Thanks. It's a Gainsevoort reproduction. Boston, late 1800's. I sent away for it just after we had our…first date.
JOY
Oh, I just love it. It's a…it's a collector's item.
STUART
Yeah, it is pretty special.
JOY
(laughs)
It almost makes me want to start smoking again!
STUART
Look at the bottom.
JOY
(examines more closely)
Ooh.
STUART
Forty karat gold-plate inlaid base.
JOY
Oh, Stuart. Thank you. This really means something to me. I'll always treasure it…as a token…
STUART
No, you won't.
(retrieves his gift; a sudden shift in emotion)
'Cause this is for the girl who loves me. The girl who cares for me, for who I am, not what I look like. I wanted you to know what you'd be missing. You think I don't appreciate art. You think I don't understand fashion. You think I'm not hip. You think I'm pathetic, a nerd, a lard-ass fatso. You think I'm shit. Well, you're wrong. 'Cause I'm champagne, baby and you're shit. And till the day you die, you, not me, will always be shit.
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