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watch Preview for a short Psychological Horror

TwinCities

TwinCities

Literally just a bare-bones preview of what kinds of correction and sounds/cinematography will be showcased in our newest upcoming short, HO(US)E.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQTJNuRT_7U
 
Intro is complete: Please give us your constructive criticism. [for the most part color correction will remain the same, that is how it's supposed to be.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HSViyvUHYo
 
main character takes some mystery drug, reacts badly, sees/experiences some sort of attack, and runs off. correct?

1) too long. this sets me up for like a 15 minute short, and thats generally pretty long. to me, the best shorts are 11 min or less.
2) i have no info or reason to care about what is happening. why is he taking this drug? is he depressed over an ex-girl (cliche)? peer pressure? why should i care about this character? that should be conveyed from shot 1. i also have no info on the drug, why does he react poorly? does the drug have some sort of bad reputation? show me that somehow? and if so, why is he taking it? he must be really depressed? or? show me the emotion and driving force behind this character
3) color and pacing. cutting and color changing is distracting and doesn't flow well. it reveals a lot of grain in your footage when you change the color so drastically and thats the most distracting
4) why is he running off? what happens next? i need some clue or reason to continue watching. set that up for the viewer.
5) audio needs work, do your research, or better yet, find someone who knows what they're doing to help you with that. building tension and suspense here will lie almost entirely in audio (not cutting and color!), so know what you're doing and why
6) title animation drags long. let the letters scan briefly, then get to the title, i felt like that dragged very long

hope this isn't too harsh and helps in some way. also, it can be difficult to make any helpful points without knowing much at all about this project...what is the story, why are you making it, how long is it supposed to be, etc, etc.

best of luck finishing this up!
 
samwagner1000 said:
main character takes some mystery drug, reacts badly, sees/experiences some sort of attack, and runs off. correct?

1) too long. this sets me up for like a 15 minute short, and thats generally pretty long. to me, the best shorts are 11 min or less.
2) i have no info or reason to care about what is happening. why is he taking this drug? is he depressed over an ex-girl (cliche)? peer pressure? why should i care about this character? that should be conveyed from shot 1. i also have no info on the drug, why does he react poorly? does the drug have some sort of bad reputation? show me that somehow? and if so, why is he taking it? he must be really depressed? or? show me the emotion and driving force behind this character
3) color and pacing. cutting and color changing is distracting and doesn't flow well. it reveals a lot of grain in your footage when you change the color so drastically and thats the most distracting
4) why is he running off? what happens next? i need some clue or reason to continue watching. set that up for the viewer.
5) audio needs work, do your research, or better yet, find someone who knows what they're doing to help you with that. building tension and suspense here will lie almost entirely in audio (not cutting and color!), so know what you're doing and why
6) title animation drags long. let the letters scan briefly, then get to the title, i felt like that dragged very long

hope this isn't too harsh and helps in some way. also, it can be difficult to make any helpful points without knowing much at all about this project...what is the story, why are you making it, how long is it supposed to be, etc, etc.

best of luck finishing this up!
Click to expand...

Thanks very much, friend! Regarding 1-3, this is the introduction to the short film which showcases some of the effects and correction/sound to be showcased throughout. I wanted assistance to see what I could improve on regarding it. As for the off-par funny color correction, it's actually designed to be that way; ugly and confusing, masking the quality the rest of the film holds to make you wonder. Thank you for the audio and title suggestion, I will look into that.
Do you have any suggestions about the silhouette effects?
 
whether it's supposed to be ugly and confusing or not, i still need to be able to care about the story, so then i guess my biggest pointer is that you should really work on showing who this character is and why i should care about what happens.

it still runs a bit long for an intro, so you should still cut it down, i think what happens in this scene can be told in a minute or so rather than over 3.

pacing still can be improved, the awkward cutting throws off too much from what is going on.

dont forget that no matter what experimental stuff you're doing with the technical stuff, that your story comes first and everything has to be done to serve the story! so ugliness and confusion can do that, great! but if it's too distracting, be careful...

as far as helping with silhouettes, play with whatever you're using to color correct until you find the sweet spot. exaggerate the lights and darks until you find what you want
 
samwagner1000 said:
whether it's supposed to be ugly and confusing or not, i still need to be able to care about the story, so then i guess my biggest pointer is that you should really work on showing who this character is and why i should care about what happens.

it still runs a bit long for an intro, so you should still cut it down, i think what happens in this scene can be told in a minute or so rather than over 3.

pacing still can be improved, the awkward cutting throws off too much from what is going on.

dont forget that no matter what experimental stuff you're doing with the technical stuff, that your story comes first and everything has to be done to serve the story! so ugliness and confusion can do that, great! but if it's too distracting, be careful...

as far as helping with silhouettes, play with whatever you're using to color correct until you find the sweet spot. exaggerate the lights and darks until you find what you want
Click to expand...

We'll get right on that. Thanks much!
 
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