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critique Writing a scene, could i get a review on how it is so far? 3 pages
- Thread starter New22
- Start date
First, you need to learn how to properly format a screenplay and use software that will support that. Celtx as a free version, as do Writer Duet and FadeIn.
Second, the first part seems to be happening in 2 rooms at the same time - the kitchen and the bedroom. You have two options: establish both locations and intercut between them or have Amy as "off stage" or "o.s" meaning she's unseen after walking through the kitchen.
And third, most of the dialogue is inconsequential. I suggest that you cut most of the blah blah blah about the food down to a single line, and quickly get to the part where Amy is pissed off at him for whatever unclear reason.
I hope that helps.
Second, the first part seems to be happening in 2 rooms at the same time - the kitchen and the bedroom. You have two options: establish both locations and intercut between them or have Amy as "off stage" or "o.s" meaning she's unseen after walking through the kitchen.
And third, most of the dialogue is inconsequential. I suggest that you cut most of the blah blah blah about the food down to a single line, and quickly get to the part where Amy is pissed off at him for whatever unclear reason.
I hope that helps.
Another option is https://app.studiobinder.com/login that I use because its free and doesn't have a limit on the number of projects/screenplays that I can create (that I've encountered)