VoXDrop - how to turn Drama into Comedy?

[Inarius]

I've pitched my script to some producers. It's about a guy with a childish voice, who uses a voice altering device to turn into a famous rapper, tuning his voice to be more brutal. It's a drama, but all the feedbacks I got, were saying that this concept is good for comedy, not drama. I think I knew it from the beginning. The reason I chose it to be drama is because I'm not good at making people laugh. I'm more into dramatic, serious stories. So, how can I make it comedy? What makes people laugh? Can anybody give me any tips?

Also, I've got an advise to "add more layers to the story". What does that mean?

 

[PhantomScreenwriter]

You could perhaps make his physical appearance completely go against the voice he has. In this way you could create scenes where someone may feel intimidated by him until he actually starts to speak to them and then they cease to be intimidated - this could be done in a way so that the audience themselves think he's this intimidating character only by his physical appearance until he speaks.

 

[Sweetie]

So, how can I make it comedy?
What makes people laugh?
Can anybody give me any tips?

Comedy writing is tough. Usually it's either you can do it or you cannot. Teaching someone to be funny is harder than being funny yourself.

The only tip I can offer is to write what makes people laugh. Test it on people. If it doesn't make them laugh, go back and try again. Make it all happen within conflict, so if you fall flat, you still have the conflict to fall back on.

"add more layers to the story". What does that mean?

It means your story is likely to be flat and two dimensional. Adding layers to the story is something you should already know if you're trying to sell your work. Adding a subplot can add a layer. Adding a cookie early on in the story can add a layer. Adding a back story can add a layer and so on.

 

[FantasySciFi]

So, how can I make it comedy? What makes people laugh? Can anybody give me any tips?

As I said in another thread, "Comedy is the collision of reality with absurdity." Laughter is often how the human brain deals with paradox or ambiguity. This can result from contrasts as Phantom mentioned ("The bodybuilder with a falsetto or twiggy wimp with a deep basso profundo"). Or in the case of jokes, riddles and puns the ambiguity or double meaning. A visual example would be "the banana in the pocket". The audience knows the hero has a banana but the bad guy thinks it's a gun. Humor can result from the violation the expected--"The banana goes off, shooting the villain. And the hero looks surprised 'not knowing it was loaded.'" Most commonly in comedies, the protagonist takes a huge risk that initiates events that spiral out of control until the crash at the end. At that point the protagonist has learned from the previous escapades and resolves the underlying issue.

We are all funny. Many comedians have had difficult lives and so they transform that but finding irony in situations. Many will juxtaposition two concepts that are only tangentially related, develop that, then suddenly make the other match on a totally different trait.

I also distinguish between plot humor and organic humor. Plot humor is planned. Like the examples above. Organic humor is more the like quips that your characters make. They're not tangential to the story but make light of the scene. The heroes are pinned down by gun fire. The hero turns to the heroine, "Where's superman when you need him?" Heroine looks at him, "Wonder woman's savin' his ass." She gets up and starts clearing a path. This is a crime drama but the injection of humor countering the expected with the unexpected lightens the situation.

Sweetie is right, you can't teach humor. However, you can study it and get a sense of what makes a scene go from normal to absurd. As I've mentioned when that happens in a film that's supposed to be serious, it breaks the whole flow. Plot humor and situational (organic) humor have different effects.

Also, I've got an advise to "add more layers to the story". What does that mean?

Sweetie was right on the money. For many new writers, their writing is linear. In consulting on one script, the story was good but it had no nuance. The characters tend to feel flat because they are not well developed. Characters become real through their interactions with the environment, each other and the audience through backstory.

This often POs writers who are taught to think in terms of the Hero's Journey but films are not totally about the hero. "Star Wars" is often considered the prime example. However, you follow C3PO and R2D2 in the Jawa ship. You follow Han's conflict with Jabba. You follow Leia's travails. You follow Vader. Each of these are separate plot lines the interweave with Luke's adventures. The hero should only be one half to two thirds of the story. This isn't a contradiction but underscores the importance of the subplot.

What is the impact on the scientists of the stolen device? What was the villain doing before s/he learned of the device's effect? What is the impact on the janitor's friends as he's catapulted to fame? There are lots of ways, as Sweetie mentioned, to add layers or nuance to a script. Good luck!

 

[Inarius]

Well, if layers means subplots, then I have some already:

1) - Max's (the protagonist) ex-girlfriend seeks to ruin his life. She finds out about the device. She also works with the developer of the device...

2) - Scott, the son of the CEO of the record label Max has signed, is jealous of Max's fame, and he is also the new boyfriend of Max's ex-girlfriend.

3) - The CEO of the record label Max has signed, will do everything for her son Scott. Especially when she finds out about Max's device.

4) - The hero's best friend Curtis has a conflict with his own ex-girlfriend.

5) - Curtis's ex-girlfriend is the one who actually tells Max about the device (but not to steal it). That's why the hero tries to make Curtis get back to her.

6) - Max's father is a frustrated alcoholic, but far not stupid as Max thinks.

7) - Max's new girlfriend is the daughter of the developer of the device, but she doesn't know about the device. She sings a few songs with Max, you know, like Rihanna with Eminem. She wants to prove everybody she can be a singer.

8) - There are 2 developers of the device, and each one has his own plans on it.

9) - A 12 year old girl with cancer has been inspired by Max's lyrics. Her conditions improve. What do you think will happen to her, if she finds out that Max is a "fake"?

So, isn't that enough of subplots???

 

[maz]

Well, if layers means subplots, then I have some already:

1) - Max's (the protagonist) ex-girlfriend seeks to ruin his life. She finds out about the device. She also works with the developer of the device...

2) - Scott, the son of the CEO of the record label Max has signed, is jealous of Max's fame, and he is also the new boyfriend of Max's ex-girlfriend.

3) - The CEO of the record label Max has signed, will do everything for her son Scott. Especially when she finds out about Max's device.

4) - The hero's best friend Curtis has a conflict with his own ex-girlfriend.

5) - Curtis's ex-girlfriend is the one who actually tells Max about the device (but not to steal it). That's why the hero tries to make Curtis get back to her.

6) - Max's father is a frustrated alcoholic, but far not stupid as Max thinks.

7) - Max's new girlfriend is the daughter of the developer of the device, but she doesn't know about the device. She sings a few songs with Max, you know, like Rihanna with Eminem. She wants to prove everybody she can be a singer.

8) - There are 2 developers of the device, and each one has his own plans on it.

9) - A 12 year old girl with cancer has been inspired by Max's lyrics. Her conditions improve. What do you think will happen to her, if she finds out that Max is a "fake"?

So, isn't that enough of subplots???

It depends on how they are implemented. How are the subplots interwoven into the narrative? Do they add nuance, subtext and backstory to the main plot, or are they just 'bolted on' to bulk out the script?

Also, since you first pitched your idea on this board, people have been commenting on the story's potential as a comedy rather than a drama. Embrace it! Given the comic potential of the concept, even a slight lightening of the (written) tone of a scene can make it more comic than dramatic.

Well done on getting it in front of producers though!

 

[Inarius]

About Comedy.
As far as I know, the level of "funny" is mostly determined by actors, who play the funny characters. If you remake Ace Ventura or The Dumb and Dumber without Jim Carrey, the movie won't be that successful. It's all in the actor's actions, face expressions, which is totally improvisation. No what can I, the writer, do, to make it funny, when most of the funny part is made by actors?

Another question. What reference should I use? Should I use Disney TV-shows of "wanna be funny" kids? Or serious adult comedies, while the concept itself is more childish?

About Subplots.
Some of the subplots are connected and actually move the story on. But there are some "bolted on", because I needed to add a subplot to a sidekick character, which is near Max all the time.

 

[FantasySciFi]

Well, if layers means subplots, then I have some already:

1) - Max's (the protagonist) ex-girlfriend seeks to ruin his life. She finds out about the device. She also works with the developer of the device... Main Plot

2) - Scott, the son of the CEO of the record label Max has signed, is jealous of Max's fame, and he is also the new boyfriend of Max's ex-girlfriend. Main Plot

3) - The CEO of the record label Max has signed, will do everything for her son Scott. Especially when she finds out about Max's device. Main Plot

4) - The hero's best friend Curtis has a conflict with his own ex-girlfriend. Main Plot

5) - Curtis's ex-girlfriend is the one who actually tells Max about the device (but not to steal it). That's why the hero tries to make Curtis get back to her. Main Plot

6) - Max's father is a frustrated alcoholic, but far not stupid as Max thinks. Description

7) - Max's new girlfriend is the daughter of the developer of the device, but she doesn't know about the device. She sings a few songs with Max, you know, like Rihanna with Eminem. She wants to prove everybody she can be a singer. Main Plot

8) - There are 2 developers of the device, and each one has his own plans on it. Main Plot

9) - A 12 year old girl with cancer has been inspired by Max's lyrics. Her conditions improve. What do you think will happen to her, if she finds out that Max is a "fake"?

So, isn't that enough of subplots???

Only one element stands out as a sub-plot, a standalone story within the story, #9. From your description of the story, everything else is necessary for the film. In your examples above that I labeled as MAIN PLOT, could your story move forward without those elements?

In my previous example, it's not necessary to know about R2D2 and C3PO in the Jawa ship or Leia's torture to the flow of her rescue and blowing up the Deathstar. They add nuance. That C3PO recommends R2D2 to Luke and builds a "buddy" relationship in the minds of the audience. That Leia is a tough cookie rebel leader is proven by her resisting until they blow up Alderan.

As for 'funny', actors portray comedy but it still needs to be written. "Ace Ventura" didn't just spontaneously generate in front of the camera. I agree that great comedians can inject humor into a rather dead script--Robin Williams is excellent for that. However, the funny situations have to be scripted to get a greenlight to involve comedic actors. Comedy is hard to write. But it IS NOT about writing jokes into your script, per se.

Without actually seeing your script, it's hard for anyone on this forum to give you useful suggestions. That a mouthpiece could take over the world is the "absurd" part that makes it funny. That it gets ramped up by boyfriends and girlfriends falling in and out of love with meddling parents, causes an "absurdity spiral". It somehow has to crash in the end and your protagonist has to put together the pieces. It has all the elements for a comedy in place.

I'm not clear what you mean by "reference". For genre you can simply use "comedy".

 

[maz]

About Comedy.
As far as I know, the level of "funny" is mostly determined by actors, who play the funny characters. If you remake Ace Ventura or The Dumb and Dumber without Jim Carrey, the movie won't be that successful. It's all in the actor's actions, face expressions, which is totally improvisation. No what can I, the writer, do, to make it funny, when most of the funny part is made by actors?

Another question. What reference should I use? Should I use Disney TV-shows of "wanna be funny" kids? Or serious adult comedies, while the concept itself is more childish?

About Subplots.
Some of the subplots are connected and actually move the story on. But there are some "bolted on", because I needed to add a subplot to a sidekick character, which is near Max all the time.

Comedy actors make funny scripts come to life, which is crucial, but the script - situations, character interactions etc - still have to have a comic angle. You already have a fairly absurd concept, and there are a range of funny situations and scenes that might emerge from it. Identifying the comic potential of a particular scene is the writer's job, and then maximising it is the director's/actor's job. But as FSF says, its difficult to offer advice without seeing the script. What makes YOU laugh? Why? Try to find the funny in your scenes.

In terms of reference, I assume you mean styles of comedy to emulate or draw inspiration from? I would say avoid anything too childish. What is a "serious adult comedy"? Comedy-drama is probably a sensible way to go. There is a long history of music-based comedies , so maybe watch a few of those/read a few screenplays. Similarly, there are a lot of someone-pretending-to-be-someone-they're-not comedies.

Have you ever seen the TV show "Angry Boys"? One of the stories in that show is a hiphop character, and it's quite well done.

 

[Inarius]

I'm trying make the characters appearance, their actions and their way of speaking absurd and exaggerated, without changing the story flow (well, maybe a little, if needed). I mean working partially scene by scene, just changing the behavior of the characters. If the character needs to do this and say that, he will do/say it, just in a funny way. Or I'll have to change the structure itself?

Only one element stands out as a sub-plot, a standalone story within the story, #9. From your description of the story, everything else is necessary for the film. In your examples above that I labeled as MAIN PLOT, could your story move forward without those elements?

#9 character meets Max only at the climax of the story, and this is what actually makes Max make his final choice.

#6 could actually be removed from the story without affecting it. I just needed a character who would always criticize Max, no matter what he does. And who could do that better than his own father?..

 

[PhantomScreenwriter]

Sometimes too I think comedy can be worked in by referencing something that may or may not be noticed by the audience but those with keen ears would get, for example at one point you could have someone say to Max:

"Max, are you mad?!"

Mad Max.

 

[FantasySciFi]

I'm trying make the characters appearance, their actions and their way of speaking absurd and exaggerated, without changing the story flow (well, maybe a little, if needed). I mean working partially scene by scene, just changing the behavior of the characters. If the character needs to do this and say that, he will do/say it, just in a funny way. Or I'll have to change the structure itself?

In a comedy genre, the PLOT is comedic. If the plot is serious and the CHARACTERS are comedic, it becomes a farce. You need to be clear which you are trying for. "Evil Dead" started as a serious horror but the characters acted in a very ludicrous manner. In "Evil Dead 2", the writer embraced the comedic elements. In "Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness", the whole plot was comedic. Your story/plot has strong comedic elements in itself. You don't need to change or exaggerate how they talk. In comedies, one bad choice, mistake or unexpected event can cause things to cascade. In Shakespeare's time, the difference between a tragedy and comedy was if someone died.

#9 character meets Max only at the climax of the story, and this is what actually makes Max make his final choice.

#6 could actually be removed from the story without affecting it. I just needed a character who would always criticize Max, no matter what he does. And who could do that better than his own father?..

Often new writers will think linearly. In the case of #9, I'd introduce the character earlier. We don't have to first meet her through Max. Present her sooner, anecdotally. In act 2, you bring them together. In act 3, you have the "let down". At the conclusion, you have him "make the amends" with her. Could you take the piece out about the girl? Yes. That's what makes it a subplot, the plot doesn't depend on her story. However, it does give added meaning to understanding the main character and added appreciation of the main plot. Sticking #9 at the end minimizes its presence as a subplot.

As for #6, it is SO OVERUSED and STEREOTYPIC. Please give dads a break and stop using the alcoholic stereotype. It's not necessary. It takes experience to carry it off well. Also, continual criticism really detracts from a movie unless buffered or offset. It's better if you had a sidekick for Max to act as his conscience (or id). Perhaps that's one of the first uses of the device, when he tells his dad, "You know, you really need to be nice to me!" And suddenly, he is. Throughout the movie his dad does bizarrely nice things which really starts to weird Max out. With ultimate power can come ultimate temptation. How well can Max handle doing what he should versus doing what he wants. Creating the possibility of losing what he really wants is the essence of most film set ups.

You can't just make a character say or do something "funny". It has to make sense in the context of the story/plot. Compare the styles in "Liar, Liar" and "The Invention of Lying". Both have a similar idea, what happens when you can't lie or when you can but others don't.

 

[Inarius]

Often new writers will think linearly. In the case of #9, I'd introduce the character earlier. We don't have to first meet her through Max. Present her sooner, anecdotally. In act 2, you bring them together. In act 3, you have the "let down". At the conclusion, you have him "make the amends" with her.

That's what I already did. I introduced her in the middle of Act 2, when Max rises to the top of his fame, and finally get his "easy" goal completed - get famous. He DOESN'T meet the girl at that point. Her mother approaches Max just after his performance, tells him about her daughter and asks an autograph for her. The girl herself watches them both on TV. When the mother tells him that her daughter's conditions improve BECAUSE of his lyrics, Max starts feeling scared about his false fame.

As for #6, it is SO OVERUSED and STEREOTYPIC. Please give dads a break and stop using the alcoholic stereotype. It's not necessary. It takes experience to carry it off well. Also, continual criticism really detracts from a movie unless buffered or offset. It's better if you had a sidekick for Max to act as his conscience (or id). Perhaps that's one of the first uses of the device, when he tells his dad, "You know, you really need to be nice to me!" And suddenly, he is. Throughout the movie his dad does bizarrely nice things which really starts to weird Max out. With ultimate power can come ultimate temptation. How well can Max handle doing what he should versus doing what he wants. Creating the possibility of losing what he really wants is the essence of most film set ups.

Well, the father isn't a sidekick. He interacts with Max only 4 times within the story. 3 of the 4 times he criticizes him. The first is before Max is famous, the second is when Max is famous, shortly after the scene with the mother of the deceased girl (as mentioned above), and 3rd time is shortly after Max gets exposed and loses everything, at the "all is lost" point. The 4th time they meet is towards the end, after the climax, where Daddy has nothing bad to say anymore.

But you just gave me another idea. What if Max uses the device on his Dad, and commands him to stop drinking. And suddenly Daddy stops drinking, goes to gym and meets a woman. And then, at the "all is lost" point, Daddy finds out that his life has become better only because he was hypnotized by the device. And when Max meets him, he sees him drinking again. Yes! That's it!

 

[maz]

In a comedy genre, the PLOT is comedic. If the plot is serious and the CHARACTERS are comedic, it becomes a farce. You need to be clear which you are trying for. "Evil Dead" started as a serious horror but the characters acted in a very ludicrous manner. In "Evil Dead 2", the writer embraced the comedic elements. In "Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness", the whole plot was comedic. Your story/plot has strong comedic elements in itself. You don't need to change or exaggerate how they talk. In comedies, one bad choice, mistake or unexpected event can cause things to cascade. In Shakespeare's time, the difference between a tragedy and comedy was if someone died.

Not sure I agree with those definitions. Comedic characters in a serious setting/plot is a mainstay of comedy. That also applies to comic characters in a comic plot. The important thing in both cases is to ensure that there is always something that is played straight. In the case of the serious setting, the setting is 'straight'. In the case of the comic setting, at least one main and ideally several supporting characters need to be 'straight'.

Having nothing at all played straight is when things descend into farce (although farce is also a lot of fun when done well).

 

[sfoster]

It's a drama, but all the feedbacks I got, were saying that this concept is good for comedy, not drama.

 

[Sweetie]

So, isn't that enough of subplots???

It may be, but there is a good chance that the problem that you're looking at may not be your real issue. Subplot doesn't always add layers. Sometimes subplots just continue a two dimensional story in a different direction for a while.

Or I'll have to change the structure itself?

You may. I'm not sure how you wrote you story, though I'll suspect that you sat down, page 1 and wrote until you hit page 90 and let your characters/story telling guide your way and at the end work out what you needed to do to fix the story (this is rather a common method). If this is the case, it's almost a certainty that you'll need to do a lot of revising and re-writing before it becomes a great story. Don't take that negatively, it's just part of the craft and a typical downside to that writing style.

There is one more thing you need to consider. Is the producer well versed in writing? If so, is it the right type of writing? If they're not versed in writing, they may be guiding you the wrong way in how to fix your story. There is always a decent chance that they can see that there are problems in the script but don't know how to fix them (writing as a craft takes many years to master, and if they're not a writer, their cursory knowledge may hinder you more than help).

A producer saying that it needs more layers may simple be telling you that it won't hold the attention of the audience and it needs more. There may be too much filler/padding which needs to be removed (which is very common) or scenes to be told quicker. There may not be enough conflict. You may be explaining too much (very common). You may be explaining too little. The story may be too simple/complex for the target audience. The characters may need further developing. You may be telling the story from the wrong perspective or starting at the wrong point. There are so many variables.

Each faulty story has many ways to be improved and/or fixed. It's impossible for anyone to know what you need to do without knowing the details of the script. It's likely that without reading the script, you're only going to be given a bum steer.

 

[dahwws]

The best advice I can give you about comedy is to surround yourself with it. Do improv, sit around and laugh with your friends, watch comedy, listen to stand-up. When you laugh, think about why you laughed. Try to translate that into writing. If one of your friends says something funny that you can use, you should. Trust me, they won't have a problem with it (The famous line "Show me the money!" was directly taken from something the screenwriter heard a football player say).