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How to shorten long dramatic dialogues?

I

Inarius

There are movies with LOOOOOONG conversations. And no, they do not consist "Hey whats up!", "I'm fine" and all those excess words. They are between different people, who join the scene, have a conversation with someone, and leave. The scene goes on and the characters have so much to say. Many times the antagonists have much to say towards the end of the movies. Sometimes it turns into long speeches of 2-3 pages length, considering there are few things going on simultaneously, like the protagonists sneaking in or something.

Now, my question is, how do they write such dialogues in 120 pages script? You can't just take out a few lines there without losing the content. I just can't write a few lines, hoping that it would turn into a heartbreaking monologue or a dialogue on the screen.
 
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Not sure exactly what you're asking, but to me, dialogue is usually the last place I use for communication with the audience. Any time I have to have a character actually say something in order to get that info to the audience it means I haven't been able to think of another way to communicate it. If all the ground work has been laid beforehand then the last big exposition or whatever you're talking about might well only take a couple of sentences. In my mind the number one issue with beginning screenwriters (and bad screenwriters even with experience) is that the script is WAY too "talkie". Jabber, jabber, jabber, between people which virtually never happens in "real life" where people rarely actually say what they mean and much more communication is done with body language or a look. Some guys (Kevin Smith, Tarentino) do a pretty good job with the jibber jabber style, but most people don't.
 
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Gonzo_Entertainment said:
Not sure exactly what you're asking, but to me, dialogue is usually the last place I use for communication with the audience. Any time I have to have a character actually say something in order to get that info to the audience it means I haven't been able to think of another way to communicate it. If all the ground work has been laid beforehand then the last big exposition or whatever you're talking about might well only take a couple of sentences. In my mind the number one issue with beginning screenwriters (and bad screenwriters even with experience) is that the script is WAY too "talkie". Jabber, jabber, jabber, between people which virtually never happens in "real life" where people rarely actually say what they mean and much more communication is done with body language or a look. Some guys (Kevin Smith, Tarentino) do a pretty good job with the jibber jabber style, but most people don't.
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Yeah, but even if you don't use the "jibber jabber", you won't write a dialogue as a block of text under the name of the character. There will be other things on the scene. Something will happen DURING his speech. So there will be action lines, which describe what happens. For example:

Code: 
Antagonist holds a nuclear launch remote controller in his one hand, and a woman in another one.

                   ANTAGONIST
         Blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah...

PROTAGONIST sneaks behind a car and takes aim at the antagonist.

                   ANTAGONIST (CONT'D)
         Blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah...

                   WOMAN
         Help!!!

                   ANTAGONIST
         Blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah...

Protagonist shoots at the antagonist's hand with the nuclear button. The hand gets severed, the remote controller drops down, but he still holds the woman in his hand.

                   ANTAGONIST
         I'm gonna kill her if you don't
         blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah...

                  PROTAGONIST
         You crazy!

                   ANTAGONIST
         Blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah
         blah blah blah blah blah blah...

                  PROTAGONIST
         Lets see!

They start fighting.

So the character doesn't say it all uninterrupted.
 
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As long as you avoid repetition and don't state the obvious which the audience knows, then I think that can limit your monologue/dialogue. I will plan it first by bullet pointing what are the most important points you want to get across, then using those points, style them into a monologue/dialogue.
 
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Think about the 'Scream' movies. I haven't read the scripts, but the ending scenes in those films, as the killers reveal their motives and their plans, must take up pages and pages of dialogue. But, it's not questioned, as it works for the film and for the characters, particularly in the context of that genre.

As a general rule of thumb, if it works for your story and for your characters, it's fine.
 
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Here is an example of shortening long dialogue in my own script which I have done just now:

BEFORE:

This glorious town was once thriving with a busy, happy society. People would go perform their daily routines and live normal lives with so much freedom and joy. Now, there is nothing. Hardly anything left to recognize this town, just wreckage and destruction. A community has been torn apart, lives are lost or shattered, all because of one devastating moment no one could have predicted.

NOW:

This town, it’s hardly recognizable. People use to perform daily routines and live normal lives with so much freedom and joy. Now, a community is torn apart beneath this wreckage and destruction. Lives are lost or shattered, all because of one unpredictable, devastating moment.


I saved up two lines in the script, which is useful for me as I am trying to condense the script. It just takes time. Write you dialogue with your important points, then play with it, trying to make it as short as possible by taking out what you think you don't need, then rephrasing it to see how you can say it with as less words possible.
 
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Not necessarily being critical, just giving you something to think about.

Have you ever heard anyone who talked like the dialogue sample you gave (either one)... It's even OK if you haven't, that can work, but be aware it will be something the audience notices. Good, bad or indifferent, they will notice that the character speaks in a very wordy "unnatural" way.
 
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sfoster said:
Sometimes you just let the actors go at it and improv. especially if you're working with someone like de niro
Click to expand...

They key word is the "if" :)
Until I get to that level, De Niro can wait :)

mad_hatter said:
As a general rule of thumb, if it works for your story and for your characters, it's fine.
Click to expand...

It works. But then I get rid of the "jibber jabber", and I feel like I'm losing the character too. And then, when I read the shortened dialogue lines, I envision my character as a robot, not as a bad guy with an artistic and mad way of talking.

mmkp1990 said:
Here is an example of shortening long dialogue in my own script which I have done just now:

BEFORE:

This glorious town was once thriving with a busy, happy society. People would go perform their daily routines and live normal lives with so much freedom and joy. Now, there is nothing. Hardly anything left to recognize this town, just wreckage and destruction. A community has been torn apart, lives are lost or shattered, all because of one devastating moment no one could have predicted.

NOW:

This town, it’s hardly recognizable. People use to perform daily routines and live normal lives with so much freedom and joy. Now, a community is torn apart beneath this wreckage and destruction. Lives are lost or shattered, all because of one unpredictable, devastating moment.


I saved up two lines in the script, which is useful for me as I am trying to condense the script. It just takes time. Write you dialogue with your important points, then play with it, trying to make it as short as possible by taking out what you think you don't need, then rephrasing it to see how you can say it with as less words possible.
Click to expand...

I see how you do it. It seems working. Yet I think if you go shortening it further, it will lose its "magic". :)
 
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Gonzo_Entertainment said:
Not necessarily being critical, just giving you something to think about.

Have you ever heard anyone who talked like the dialogue sample you gave (either one)... It's even OK if you haven't, that can work, but be aware it will be something the audience notices. Good, bad or indifferent, they will notice that the character speaks in a very wordy "unnatural" way.
Click to expand...

Well, it happens many times in movies, when a characters talks too much. Like you know, somebody tells he saw his parents murdered when he was young, and how he joined a local gang, and grew up to run a whole mafia, and how he wants to teach a lesson to this cruel world... Just another cliche example, but it's a lot of words. The first cliche that comes into mind is the movie Under Siege (1992) with Steven Seagal. The antagonist was talking SOOO damn much.
 
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Inarius said:
Well, it happens many times in movies, when a characters talks too much. Like you know, somebody tells he saw his parents murdered when he was young, and how he joined a local gang, and grew up to run a whole mafia, and how he wants to teach a lesson to this cruel world... Just another cliche example, but it's a lot of words. The first cliche that comes into mind is the movie Under Siege (1992) with Steven Seagal. The antagonist was talking SOOO damn much.
Click to expand...

I mean more:

"This town, it’s hardly recognizable. People use to perform daily routines and live normal lives with so much freedom and joy. Now, a community is torn apart beneath this wreckage and destruction. Lives are lost or shattered, all because of one unpredictable, devastating moment."

vs.

"This town... I don't even recognize it anymore. Everybody used to be so normal... so happy. All of it destroyed in one moment."

Conveys the same tone and information, sounds more "natural" is almost exactly half as many words.

We're writing dialogue here not an Edwardian novel. That being said, there COULD be a character who talked just like the dialogue you wrote as long as it reflected HIM and not everybody talked like that.
 
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Gonzo_Entertainment said:
I mean more:

"This town, it’s hardly recognizable. People use to perform daily routines and live normal lives with so much freedom and joy. Now, a community is torn apart beneath this wreckage and destruction. Lives are lost or shattered, all because of one unpredictable, devastating moment."

vs.

"This town... I don't even recognize it anymore. Everybody used to be so normal... so happy. All of it destroyed in one moment."

Conveys the same tone and information, sounds more "natural" is almost exactly half as many words.

We're writing dialogue here not an Edwardian novel. That being said, there COULD be a character who talked just like the dialogue you wrote as long as it reflected HIM and not everybody talked like that.
Click to expand...

Nice Gonzo, looks good. Yeah the sample I gave is actually a monologue, she is really just speaking to herself. I think the issue with me is that because I watch a lot of anime, they tend to speak like that, natter along. But that's the fun part, there are lots of ways of writing speech, you just need to play around. It is one of my favourite parts of a screenplay.
 
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