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Old 01-16-2018, 04:17 PM   #1
Gabe-KC
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Question Does this logline sound interesting?

I've just had a sudden idea for a screenplay. I don't have any detailed synopsis yet, I'm just curious to know whether you guys think the logline is interesting enough to start working on it.

So here goes...

''When an introverted high schooler finds out that the school's most popular girl is about to kill one of the teachers, he starts stalking her to prevent the crime.''

Genre: thriller/drama (maybe some dark comedy, not sure though)
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Old 01-16-2018, 04:25 PM   #2
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I'm hooked already.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:14 PM   #3
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It doesn't matter if we like it. If it's a story you're passionate about telling, then it's worth the time to write it.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:19 PM   #4
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I would take a look.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:24 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe-KC View Post
I've just had a sudden idea for a screenplay. I don't have any detailed synopsis yet, I'm just curious to know whether you guys think the logline is interesting enough to start working on it.

So here goes...

''When an introverted high schooler finds out that the school's most popular girl is about to kill one of the teachers, he starts stalking her to prevent the crime.''

Genre: thriller/drama (maybe some dark comedy, not sure though)
Two ideas:

In the end, the teacher is revealed to be planning something similar, but in the killing of a student(s).

OR

The male student, after stalking, realizes he wants to help her kill the teacher.

Both would play into the dark comedy theme. Don't write funny dialogue, write funny happenings in an otherwise violent scene. That's the best way to convey dark comedy.

For a great study on dark comedy, watch the movie Very Bad Things. The basic plot is a group of men cover up the accidental death of a stripper that was hired at a bachelor party.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:26 PM   #6
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Those are twists that can happen within the story. He doesn't have to spoil it in the logline.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:26 PM   #7
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Those are twists that can happen within the story. He doesn't have to spoil it in the logline.
Oh I know, but I just wanted to throw out ideas in case the didn't have any. I also edited the post.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:35 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevencwood View Post
Two ideas:

In the end, the teacher is revealed to be planning something similar, but in the killing of a student(s).

OR

The male student, after stalking, realizes he wants to help her kill the teacher.

Both would play into the dark comedy theme. Don't write funny dialogue, write funny happenings in an otherwise violent scene. That's the best way to convey dark comedy.

For a great study on dark comedy, watch the movie Very Bad Things. The basic plot is a group of men cover up the accidental death of a stripper that was hired at a bachelor party.
The dark comedy was just an idea but I'm not sure that's the theme I want to convey with the movie.

Thank you for the ideas but all of these seem really obvious to me. At least these are the kind of twists I personally would expect from a movie like this which means that someone like me would feel it's really cliché. I'll try to twist the story in a way that has never been done (or has seldom been done) before
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:36 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Gabe-KC View Post
The dark comedy was just an idea but I'm not sure that's the theme I want to convey with the movie.

Thank you for the ideas but all of these seem really obvious to me. At least these are the kind of twists I personally would expect from a movie like this which means that someone like me would feel it's really cliché. I'll try to twist the story in a way that has never been done (or has seldom been done) before
Touche!
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:46 PM   #10
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There's nothing better than watching a movie that you think is cliched but then there's a twist.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:50 PM   #11
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Those are twists that can happen within the story. He doesn't have to spoil it in the logline.
That's actually something I'm having problems with. I have another logline in which I can't decide whether to give away a twist or not. It's not necessary, but without letting the audience know about it the story just doesn't sound as interesting.

It's not a Sixth Sense or Others scale plot twist, just something that makes the logline seem spoilery if mentioned, but hollow if left out.
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:26 AM   #12
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Lucky for you it isn't interesting enough for me to steal
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:50 AM   #13
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Lucky for you it isn't interesting enough for me to steal
Yeah, it was just a sudden idea, I probably wouldn't have shared it if it was a project in progress.

This is actually really informativr, some people think it's interesting, some people think it's not. Guess I'll have to get used to that diversity, right?
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Old 01-17-2018, 02:38 PM   #14
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sounds great to me! nice one
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Old 01-17-2018, 02:38 PM   #15
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I agree with not following cliche twists.

The twist I hate worst is the one that will spoil the movie if told. Sixth Sense, The Crying Game. Sure they work, and part of the hype is the "Don't tell me, I have to see it" part... but in this day and age they are too easily spoiled.

Like "In the end, the kid doing the staking is the real killer, and he was looking to frame the girl" or whatever. A twist, yup. Spoiled easily, yup. I just don't like the "ruin the whole movie" twists.

So keep at it with your own!
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