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Old 09-17-2017, 12:50 PM   #1
mussonman
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What would be similar in tone to this?

I'm writing my short film, and in the first draft I wrote a part where a white character shouts the N-word at the end of a freestyle rap song. I just kind of wrote "he shouts Spoiler: nigga or something" because it's intended to be improvised (both in character and during the actual production) so no need in scripting what will be said, other than something inflammatory needs to happen.

The whole point is the conversation that follows afterward, where another character calls him out on it. "You can't say that!" etc.

So now that I'm writing the final draft, I'd like to replace this placeholder with something similar in tone, but not as potentially offensive. What could achieve the same goal without using slurs?
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:10 PM   #2
Feutus Lapdance
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I don't know, everything is considered offensive these day's.... unemployed. watermelon, chicken eaters?

I don't know if these are slurs.... but can think of them to be offensive.
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:10 PM   #3
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its less offensive to audiences if you can pick a specific character flaw on someone and then have another character do it.

like if someone has huge ears and you call them dumbo ears, then they say you can't say that only I can say it about myself
this way you're only insulting people with ridiculous ears instead of an entire population demographic
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:16 PM   #4
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I guess, but kind of the whole thing is "you can't show this to the entire world" (the footage is literally intended to be shown to the entire world, as it has something remarkable in it.)
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:16 PM   #5
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It's been done

Cut to 3:30 here

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Old 09-17-2017, 01:46 PM   #6
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He could end his with a salute and later someone must get it said that he found that not at all suitable for what the performance stood for.
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:59 PM   #7
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If you want it to work, the character has to be offensive. Highly offensive, or it will just look like some PC police BS, and it won't be as impactful. And the character giving the lecture may look like the "sensitive" one.
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:02 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by indietalk View Post
It's been done

Cut to 3:30 here

oh, wow. Never seen that movie, but now I for sure can't do that. (for the record, my version would've been funnier than that, lol)

I think I'll scour the world of cringe videos for inspiration
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:04 PM   #9
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Kind of funny tho, it's exactly what you described lol. At least you know it can be done.
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:06 PM   #10
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You mean the character might say nigga when it's performed/improvised?
But you want a different word in the script?
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:49 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mussonman View Post
oh, wow. Never seen that movie, but now I for sure can't do that. (for the record, my version would've been funnier than that, lol)

I think I'll scour the world of cringe videos for inspiration
I'll admit it. I've seen the movie.
I've also seen his TV show the Jamie Kennedy Experiment.
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:52 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buscando View Post
But you want a different word in the script?
No, I want something else entirely that could get a similar reaction to a white guy saying nigga.

The whole point is the grounded character telling him "you absolutely cannot show this footage to the world."
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Old 09-17-2017, 03:29 PM   #13
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Oops sorry I just realized I wrote it out but you used the spoiler block.
I'm not sure you can actually get the same effect without using a slur.
Maybe you say it but you bleep all or part of it later so viewers can guess the word?
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Old 09-17-2017, 03:41 PM   #14
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OR never reveal it like the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. Every time it's bleeped in the movie. Becomes a debate and topical afrer movie is released.

I like where you're headed buscando.
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Old 09-17-2017, 04:14 PM   #15
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Quote:
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oh, wow. Never seen that movie
How could you have slept on that one? :o
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