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Old 08-25-2017, 09:22 AM   #1
gman
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Need critics for this 1 min video



Need critics to further improve my skillz. Thanks!
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:05 AM   #2
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It's very good. Nice shots, good editing, effective use of music and FX.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:07 AM   #3
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Yeah good stuff, keep at it. Weird jump cut at :38.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:11 AM   #4
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Bravo, we need more! Remember we are the future filmmakers.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:16 AM   #5
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Quote:
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It's very good. Nice shots, good editing, effective use of music and FX.
thanks!
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:18 AM   #6
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Yeah good stuff, keep at it. Weird jump cut at :38.
yeah, I thought so too. Thanks!
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:19 AM   #7
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Bravo, we need more! Remember we are the future filmmakers.
there's many more to come, hopefully.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:39 AM   #8
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Fun short! Effects compositing is not my strongsuit, so I'm always a little jealous of folks who can do it.

Fade in from black. Fade out to black. Curtain up, curtain down. One of my biggest peeves about Internet video is that folks start it and end it hard. It's like we're losing the art of opening the show and closing the show.

Your closing shot was so backlit that he was basically a silhouette. This is easy to fix (in production, not in post) with a bounce card or other reflector. Use the backlight as your key light as well.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:48 AM   #9
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Fun short! Effects compositing is not my strongsuit, so I'm always a little jealous of folks who can do it.

Fade in from black. Fade out to black. Curtain up, curtain down. One of my biggest peeves about Internet video is that folks start it and end it hard. It's like we're losing the art of opening the show and closing the show.

Your closing shot was so backlit that he was basically a silhouette. This is easy to fix (in production, not in post) with a bounce card or other reflector. Use the backlight as your key light as well.
Great tip! Actually, we really didn't plan to shoot it at that exact day. It was more of a run and gun thing.

Thanks a lot!
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Old 08-26-2017, 05:28 AM   #10
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Yeah good stuff, keep at it. Weird jump cut at :38.
umm... Mr. founder, what exactly do you mean about the "weird jump cut"? can you enlighten me please?
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Old 08-26-2017, 08:09 AM   #11
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The "Jump Cut" is an abrupt cut in what is expected to be an unbroken shot. By weird, he means it was jarring and probably would've been better without it

Also, with that angle, it doesn't communicate at all that he's walking toward a cliff. It just looks like a hill. Just one type of thing to look out for in the future

Last edited by mussonman; 08-26-2017 at 08:12 AM.
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Old 08-26-2017, 12:22 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by mussonman View Post
The "Jump Cut" is an abrupt cut in what is expected to be an unbroken shot. By weird, he means it was jarring and probably would've been better without it

Also, with that angle, it doesn't communicate at all that he's walking toward a cliff. It just looks like a hill. Just one type of thing to look out for in the future
Oooh! Now I get it.


Thanks for the heads up!
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Old 08-26-2017, 03:32 PM   #13
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We assume it's a cliff after the next scene when he falls.
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Old 08-27-2017, 07:27 AM   #14
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We assume it's a cliff after the next scene when he falls.
Obviously, Quality. But the sense of danger should come BEFORE the fall. It's called "tension"
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Old 09-14-2017, 06:21 AM   #15
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I feel like it's an over-stuffed minute. Too much happens with no clarity. If you had more like 50 seconds of clarity and then a ten second tease of incoming chaos, I'd be much more interested in whatever is next. As it stands, there's more mystery than is worth investing in. Is his new power immunity to pain? Is he in control of the portal that opens? And, most obviously, what made him say "oh shit"? Any one of these would have been enough of a tease for a minute of work but all three together just make the thing feel directionless.

Also, I believe Mario's original name was Jumpman back in Donkey Kong. Is this a callback to that or is this an entirely new Jumpman?
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