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Old 05-02-2016, 03:52 PM   #1
Thebrainstorm215
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Post Rock Bottom - Need Feedback

I'm new here. Not sure if I am posting to the right forum or not. If not, I'm sorry.


Logline:
A true story of a young aspiring rapper struggling with drug addiction. After losing two friends to overdose, he decides to stop on his own, but the more he fights his addiction, the stronger it becomes.

Synopsis:
Brian Storm, a young white rapper growing up in Philadelphia, discovers drugs and alcohol at an early age. Before long, Brianís love for the party lifestyle turns into a living nightmare that he canít wake up from. After losing two close friends to overdose, Brian vows to never use drugs again--only to discover that his addiction is stronger than he assumed. Eventually graduating to heroin, he loses everything and turns to drug dealing to support his habit. Homelessness, near-death experiences, and prison cells are no match for the monkey on Brianís back. Rock Bottom is a real eye opener to the harsh reality of addiction, which also offers hope to struggling addicts.

LINK:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B3...TRMMEl3SFdSVzA
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Old 05-03-2016, 10:54 PM   #2
Dj1987
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It is a story with a common argument. has potential, remember not what you say , it's how you say it
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Old 05-04-2016, 07:45 AM   #3
Thebrainstorm215
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dj1987 View Post
remember not what you say , it's how you say it
Did you read the script or are you referring to the logline/synopsis ? ...If you did read the script, can you be a little more specific? LoL
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Old 05-09-2016, 10:33 PM   #4
darksphinxx
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Hey, I read the script and did some quick critiques. I downloaded it as a PDF and then uploaded it to my OneDrive so I could insert comments on the pages I needed to. I hope you don't mind. To view the comments I made, click on the small comment icon on the page.
Here's the link to the critique: https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resi...nt=file%2cdocx

I hope you find it helpful. If you have any questions, let me know. I have a script I'm working on and should be done in the near future. I hope you'll return the favor and critique my script when I'm ready.

Have a good day!
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Old 05-12-2016, 03:23 PM   #5
Thebrainstorm215
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Thank you

Thank you for your input. I actually posted this on another site, and pretty much got the same feedback. I changed a lot of things...well, all except getting kicked out the military for smoking pot. Yes, the Navy has a 0 drug policy I definitely got kicked out. stupidest mistake of my life!
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Old 05-14-2016, 09:01 PM   #6
darksphinxx
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No problem. I have a script that I've been working on for a series I want to do. Hopefully when it's finished you'll give it a look over
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Old 05-15-2016, 10:26 AM   #7
Thebrainstorm215
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Absolutely. Although I am not a professional at all...this is my 1st screenplay, but I will be more than happy to give my opinion.
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