Which version of my script should I show around? - IndieTalk

harmonica44 · 12-19-2011, 01:39 AM

I am writing one that I want to be my feature debut in directing, once I have had more experience. I started out writing where it mostly concentrates on plot and development of mostly the main protagonist. And the opening scene is the 'hook'. However I have come up with a different opening before the hook. An opening which explores the backgrounds of the main character but also more of other characters and some flashbacks and subplots shown for about five to ten minutes, before the hook occurs.

But readers might find the character exposition not as grasping which is why I want to get to the hook right on the first page. I mean in a movie like The Deer Hunter for example, you have a full hour of character introduction, before it gets on more with the plot. So if I were showing this script to producers and actors, wanting to get my foot in the door, should I show them the hook right away one, or should I show them the one, that has all the scenes I will want to be filming?

knightly · 12-19-2011, 10:27 AM

Jump to the hook unless it doesn't work without the exposition... and if it doesn't work without the expo... figure out how to make it work without the expo. There's a good chance that you'll shoot that scene to get the funding to move forward with your production.

rayw · 12-19-2011, 10:58 AM

Hook on page one.

Blecht character development can come after the audience is already invested in the story, ie. the hook.

Murdock · 12-19-2011, 11:32 AM

Show the one that everyone will like the best.

harmonica44 · 12-19-2011, 01:45 PM

Okay thanks. The hook can still work, either way. The characters are just introduced then, rather then before with backgrounds. I can develop the main character after the hook, but some of the side characters can only be introduced like that, either before the hook or the the scene after. There are two hooks I was planning, one after the other. But I don't want to put those background scenes, in after the second hook, cause the ball is already rolling with the protagonist by then, and it could come off as sidetracking at that point.