Please, criticise. - IndieTalk

rdgabino · 01-29-2011, 04:17 PM

My first time trying to shoot something more or less serious.

I made this a while ago and I will go and re shoot it next month trying to get better shots and more dialogue to extend it to 15 min.

Please, check the video and let me know all the things that you see that went wrong.

Thanks a lot.

R.

http://www.vimeo.com/12406174

IndieBudget · 01-29-2011, 08:41 PM

awesome IMO... some sound / dialog issues w/ wind noise is all. excellent work

rdgabino · 01-30-2011, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndieBudget

awesome IMO... some sound / dialog issues w/ wind noise is all. excellent work

Yep. You are right about the sound. I used a cheap $20 external mic.

I bought since a Zoom H2 a Fluid Head, a better tripod, some filters and a Tokina 11-16mm since I shot the vid. So I think I am in a better shape for the re-shot.

Thanks for the criticism.

R.

Psy · 01-30-2011, 08:54 AM

As mentioned, the dialogue should have had some extended fading because it sounds like cutting off all of a sudden which is far too obvious. I'm sure you could've masked it better.

A bit of color grading could've been beneficial too.

Good stuff.

rdgabino · 01-30-2011, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psy

As mentioned, the dialogue should have had some extended fading because it sounds like cutting off all of a sudden which is far too obvious. I'm sure you could've masked it better.

A bit of color grading could've been beneficial too.

Good stuff.

I haven't thought before about the fading of the dialogue. You are right, I will keep it in mind for the edition of the re-shot.

Thanks. R.

polfilmblog · 01-30-2011, 03:29 PM

It was about twice as long as I needed to learn about his chicken ranch.

The gratuitous blurring was unnecessary.

It sort of made me want to reconsider eating chickens at all. They were pretty cute. Good photography.

Cracker Funk · 01-30-2011, 04:07 PM

Nice job. Lots of good stuff to build upon. I think it was very beautifully shot. Though, I will agree with polfilmblog that the rack-focusing was perhaps overdone. Also, was the focus moving in steps? That aspect of it was kind of distracting.

Um, my main issue is with the editing. There were many times when we got extended periods of visuals. The visuals looked great, but alone, they only work for so long. Conversely, you also had many extended periods of interview footage. Now, he's a good-looking dude, but don't you think the video might benefit if you had the narration audio playing over the visuals of the chickens, etc? This way, you could pack the exact same amount of information into a much shorter time, and I for one think being succinct is important with documentaries.

Good luck with the re-shoot. By the way, yeah, the audio wasn't great, but I've heard worse. The audio might be less distracting if you put the "room"-tone (outside-tone really) from his interview over all the non-interview parts, so that at least the sound is constant. Maybe.

rdgabino · 02-01-2011, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracker Funk

Nice job. Lots of good stuff to build upon. I think it was very beautifully shot. Though, I will agree with polfilmblog that the rack-focusing was perhaps overdone. Also, was the focus moving in steps? That aspect of it was kind of distracting.

Um, my main issue is with the editing. There were many times when we got extended periods of visuals. The visuals looked great, but alone, they only work for so long. Conversely, you also had many extended periods of interview footage. Now, he's a good-looking dude, but don't you think the video might benefit if you had the narration audio playing over the visuals of the chickens, etc? This way, you could pack the exact same amount of information into a much shorter time, and I for one think being succinct is important with documentaries.

Good luck with the re-shoot. By the way, yeah, the audio wasn't great, but I've heard worse. The audio might be less distracting if you put the "room"-tone (outside-tone really) from his interview over all the non-interview parts, so that at least the sound is constant. Maybe.

Yes. I couldn't agree more about the dialogue. I think it would have been much better to use the narration with the different visuals.

The other part is that for the reshoot I want to tell the story of the family and how they got to that point in their lives instead of focusing on the chickens. As Polfilmblog said before, there is so much you can tell and show about chickens.

Again, thanks for the feedback. I will make sure I send you a link of the reshoot to see if you can see any improvements.

All the best,

R.

richy · 02-08-2011, 02:02 AM

I liked it. I agree that those chickens are awefully cute, but I still can't stop eatin' 'em!

It's a matter of taste, of course, but I really dislike loud soundtracks in documentaries -especially when you can't hear the narration or dialogue over the music. That doesn't happen here, but there are moments when that doesn't seem too far off. I don't know anything about the nitty-gritty of sound mixing, but IMHO mixing the volume of the music down from its loudest moments would be very desirable. The music is lovely enough, but -especially in its moments of highest volume- it gets pretty monotonous pretty quickly. For my taste, in a longer documentary, moments of quiet or ambient sound, or, as Cracker Funk said, use the room tone, is appreciated. I think moments of just hearing the chickens clucking and things like that would be pretty nice.

Perhaps it's just a feeling that only I had while I watched this, but I found myself wishing you threw in just a few wider or panoramic shots when you're out in the farmyard or even when following the family...just to give things a little more establishment and because the surrounding countryside (that we do glimpse) looks pretty lovely and interesting. Anyway, I think my mind's eye was trying to will that darn camera to pull back a little further at times so I could see a little more. Sorry if I'm way off on that. Maybe that wouldn't work for some reason. I don't know.

It's nice work. I look forward to your next one.

mattposada · 03-26-2011, 06:38 PM

rdgabino,

Like the others said,
The fade-in, fade-out for the audio would help it not sound so abrupt.
I think your upgrade in equipment however, will make a huge difference for your re-shoot.

Cracker Funk also brought up a good point. Review the edit multiple times to ensure that the pacing is correct. There should be a nice even flow between the main footage, and the B-roll from start to finish. Too much of either can dramatically reduce a viewers attention to the subject at hand.

The last thing is just a personal rule that I like to follow. I know it doesnt apply all the time, and it may very well just be my own artistical discretion, but when I shoot documentary peices, I tend to shoot straight forward at eye-level as if the subject was speaking to the audience.

I do have a quesiton for you though. Your subject seems to be very evenly and well lit. Did you use any equipment for this?

Good luck on your reshoot, looking forward to seeing it!

- Matt Posada