Downloaded PDF, reading now. Liking it so far.
I want to share a tip that has been drilled into my work from countless reads and script readers. It's a great way to pare down word count as well as page count!
-- make every verb tense PRESENT instead of PRESENT PROGRESSIVE.
He is running = He runs.
She is wearing = She wears. Or rather: MARTHA, in a dowdy jacket... it's OK to omit things like wearing in the action lines. Ex. BARRY, 40s, in a crisp three-piece, derby tilted to the side, raps a cane on the window.
We know he's wearing the suit and hat and is holding a cane.
Also, another tip: omit as many PREPOSITIONS as possible.
For example: He sits down. = He sits.
From your script:
He sits down on the bed. Randy packs up his medical kit.
He sits on the bed. Randy packs his kit. (we can presume it's a medical kit)
Franklin is sitting watching the evening news.
Franklin watches the evening news. (sitting is passive)
It's almost ridiculous to say, but we have to unlearn how to write and go back to the Dick and Jane books while adding only the most critical embellishments for descriptions.
Might not look like anything major, but changing all the "ings" to "s or es" adds up.
OK, back to the script...
* I try to approach a script like a combination of a blueprint and haiku, trying to say what might take 10 words and explain it in 5. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
** I also might do a 'save as' and make a version without any parentheticals. Keep ONLY the most necessary ones "in a husky timbre"