Logline

Murdock

Murdock

What do you guys think about this logline??

Eden Falls is an action/thriller about a man of faith who, after being forced to kill his family to save them from a plague, seeks his own death in recklessly fighting the invasive disease. His plans for his own death change when he is confronted with the fact, the creator of the plague is not only alive, but has a cure and a family.
 
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Come on fellas. No way this thing is perfect. Is it too wordy? Does it say too much/ not enough?? Does it hit as a stupid idea? I have thick skin. Let me have it.(That's what she said)
 
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Murdock said:
Exactly. Do you think I should change it? Was it confusing, or off-putting, etc.??
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Maybe a little. I mean, it was obvious what you meant, but not immediately so. Either that, or I am particularly dull-witted today (more likely).

Yeah, for my taste, it's over-wordy.

A man of faith kills his family to spare them from the horrors of a plague, only to discover that the creator of the plague is not only alive, but has a cure and a family.
 
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Adeimantus said:
Maybe a little. I mean, it was obvious what you meant, but not immediately so. Either that, or I am particularly dull-witted today (more likely).

Yeah, for my taste, it's over-wordy.

A man of faith kills his family to spare them from the horrors of a plague, only to discover that the creator of the plague is not only alive, but has a cure and a family.
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That does sound nice.:yes:
 
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Adeimantus said:
Revenge ensues?

(I LOVE revenge movies!)

:D
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I should probably mention its a zombie plague. :rolleyes: I hate to just throw it out there because I'm trying to write a non-cliche' zombie flick, and a lot of people are off put by "zombie movies" There is going to be 3 sub plots that stem from him having to kill his family. They should flow in/around the main plot, him confronting the scientist that created the plague, pretty well
 
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I think it's a pretty strong concept. I agree with Adeimantus that you need to mention something along the lines of 'putting them out of their suffering', because otherwise it seems a little illogical to kill someone in order to cure them of an illness...

My immediate thought when I read the logline is that this was a film which was making a comment on euthanasia. I realise (from reading on in the thread and from your general irreverent stylings) that this might not be the case, but I suspect that the jist of that logline might inspire this question in others who read it...

Just a thought.
 
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Adeimantus said:
Sounds pretty cool. How does the "faith" part play in it? You're writing a family-friendly faith-based zombie movie?
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The faith angle gives more meaning to act of killing. He's a man that has devoted himself to a certain way of life.

Accordingly, when he chooses to kill his wife and daughter, he is defying gods will. It makes what is already an

impossible decision, even more difficult. It also provides for an interesting transformation of the character

from "god fearing protector" to "godless destroyer". His name BTW I'm thinking, will be Micheal Abaddon. As for

family friendly. Not really. Whatever comes out in the writing comes out. What I am shooting for is to make the

zombie element, not secondary, but not "Holy shit we have to run from the zombies" every moment of the

movie. If you want check out my first blog post. It kind of explains my reasoning there.
 
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NickClapper said:
My immediate thought when I read the logline is that this was a film which was making a comment on euthanasia. I realise (from reading on in the thread and from your general irreverent stylings) that this might not be the case, but I suspect that the jist of that logline might inspire this question in others who read it...

Just a thought.
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My irreverent stylings?!?!? Whatever do you mean! :) It is an interesting point you bring up. The subject of young people in China never occured to me.;) JK Serioulsy, I wasn't thinking of euthanasia as being a "message point" for the movie. It is funny you should mention it because its a subject I do have strong opinions about. Perhaps its something to consider as I'm working up a treatment. Thanks!
 
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KISS -- Keep it simple. Let the story reveal the details.


Logline:



A man sets out to avenge the death of his family by seeking revenge on the one responsible, after discovering the plague responsible for their death is man-made.
 
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Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC said:
KISS -- Keep it simple. Let the story reveal the details.

Logline:

A man sets out to avenge the death of his family by seeking revenge on the one responsible, after discovering the plague responsible for their death is man-made.
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I agree. I felt my original was too wordy. But the story is relatively complex. The main character doesn't actually

seek out. It's more of an accident/happenstance. His basic story is(backstory) Couldn't have a child. Pleads

with god. Is gifted a child. Zombie plague strikes. Lives in fear. Wife is turned. He kills her. Then daughter is

turned he kills her. Meets band of zombie killers. Recklessly risks himself in killing zombies. Discovers that zombie

killer saw him have to kill his family and didn't give him help. He gets super pissed and takes them on. They try to

kill him but he escapes. (I should mention he's been have dilusions that he sees his daughter) So then without

food and water he follows his daughter and happens on a woman(new love interest) She in turn leads him to a

compound(cause she thinks he's hot) The compound is a research facility-secret type. The lead doctor is her

father. (this is the laggy love part of the story where they garden together and fall in love, etc.) Then the zombie

killers have folowed them and await their opportunity. Just when they are going to strike the lead discovers his

new love has been bitten but isn't a zombie. A la he discovers that the doctor caused the plague and indeed has a

cure. But he doesn't have time to kill the doctor because the zombie killers have broken into the compound. But

woops they left the door open and the zombies are also in the compound as well.


Okay that's a little more than I intended to writes but...
 
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