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Old 02-09-2018, 04:32 AM   #1
An_idiotic_writer
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Read my screenplay (24 pages)

The link at the bottom of this post is a PDF of my first ever full screenplay. It is a currently untitled short film about a man whose daughter is murdered, and that man's descent into a dark, violent, almost evil existence. Though this is a revenge film, I wanted to make the main theme of the movie about how this man becomes so increasingly violent and brutal that he is almost like a villain. Anyways, if you read it, please give me some feedback. I would love plenty of constructive criticism, but I don't want to make it any longer than it already is. Also, if anyone has any ideas for a title, I would love to hear them. Thanks.

file:///C:/Users/abhis/Desktop/UNTITLED%20SCRIPT.pdf
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Old 02-09-2018, 07:09 AM   #2
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Oo?
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Old 02-09-2018, 09:30 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by An_idiotic_writer View Post
The link at the bottom of this post...
file:///C:/Users/abhis/Desktop/UNTITLED%20SCRIPT.pdf
You've chosen the right nickname... or what? :p
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Old 02-09-2018, 09:20 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quality View Post
Oo?
What does that mean?
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Old 02-09-2018, 09:21 PM   #5
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Confused.
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Old 02-09-2018, 09:25 PM   #6
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You mean the script or his synopsis?
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Old 02-09-2018, 09:26 PM   #7
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The fact that his link to the script is wrong.
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Old 02-12-2018, 03:18 AM   #8
An_idiotic_writer
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Sorry, just checked your comments. Try this link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

I'm not 100% sure if it will work but what the hell, let's just see.
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Old 02-12-2018, 06:36 AM   #9
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Seeing CUT TO and close up already turns me off from the screenplay. I don't think it is in traditional screenplay format.
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Old 02-12-2018, 11:36 AM   #10
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Format is important. And easy to learn. When asking your fellow writers
to read a screenplay it's important to present it in proper format.

I think you will get better response if you start with proper format.
Start by using the standard font. I suggest getting rid of all the "CUT TO",
it really isn't needed. Every one reading a script will understand that
each new slug line means there will be a cut to the scene.

Congrats on finishing your first ever full screenplay. Now it's time to
learn proper format.
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Old 02-12-2018, 11:55 AM   #11
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Saying Cut To and Close up is for the director when you're finally shooting the film. Save that for him. If you want to make side notes on your shot list as to where the cuts and close-ups are you can but not in the screenplay.
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:56 AM   #12
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Thanks for the suggestion. Will re-work, then re-upload.
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Old 02-13-2018, 03:26 AM   #13
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There's also software that can help you put it in proper formation.
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Old 02-15-2018, 09:03 PM   #14
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Quote:
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There's also software that can help you put it in proper formation.
What's the name of the software?
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Old 02-15-2018, 09:06 PM   #15
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Celtx, or if you want to spend some money, Final Draft.
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