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Old 09-23-2018, 04:19 PM   #1
BlackSlateMedia
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DEAR VALENTINA by Dom Hunt

Short and sweet two minute film made im a few weeks. Havent been up to much the last few months but I managed to get this done. General feedback about anything would be appreciated thanks

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Old 10-02-2018, 12:06 PM   #2
seanmannion
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Generally I like the editing choices. Shot framing isn't quite working for me for some of it, especially the sink. It's fine to show the note, but I don't really think you need it. I think you could probably trim the whole thing down a bit. There's, I think, parallel conflict happening in the note writing scene and the sink scene. Both seem to be your character deciding to take that final action. In the note scene I think it's resolving to do it, which is a conflict on its own. In the sink scene it's the committing to it in the moment, which isn't really the same but parallel. I think you could consider how to use the camera to emphasize those internal conflicts more. I think that it's in there in what you shot, generally, but I think you could focus it more.

Don't know if that helps. Just some thoughts.
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Old 11-07-2018, 10:19 PM   #3
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I suggest watching the opening sequence to Wristcutters: A love story. A lot of what you're trying to evoke in this short is similar in that opening part of that movie. It is kind of drab, but I can find a lot of value in the emotion that went into making it but there's a lot more you can do especially with themes of suicide, love and depression.
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