Home

Go Back   IndieTalk - Indie Film Forum > Showcase > Screening Room > Experimental

View Poll Results: How is it?
Very Good 1 50.00%
Good 0 0%
Bad 0 0%
Very Bad 1 50.00%
Voters: 2. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-21-2018, 01:04 AM   #1
cinema31297
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: India
Posts: 5
Windows Media Player Bubbles- NEW 2018 Experimental SCI-FI Short Film

Hi Friends!
Im Cinema31297,a 20 year old student.This is my first ever short film.It belongs to science fiction genre.I hope you all will love the screenplay(especially) for which i have worked so hard.

It's my pleasure to share this with you guys out there!
Watch it.Like,Share & Support!(If you like it)
Post your comments!

cinema31297 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Today   #1A
film guy
Basic Member
 
Posts: 17

 
Old 10-21-2018, 09:07 PM   #2
Scoopicman
Premiere Member
 
Scoopicman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 1,818
I'm not going to vote in your poll, because it is too limiting. If I had my choice, it would be Good plot idea, but Bad presentation.

I almost switched this off, in the first half, but the idea finally unfolds. Too bad you didn't have more devices to really lure the viewer in, because many may not have the patience to go the distance.

The pace is slow; too many lingering shots. Tight editing and transitions would help. The camera work needs improvement; put in some steady movement and thought out composition. Color correct your shots. The sound work needs help; a lot of sounds bang in and out, you can tell that outside shots are dubbed from recorded room dialogue (with echo). There was a lack of closeups, where you could really see the character pondering and emoting.

What I did like were the silhouette shots of the guy at the computer (too bad, there weren't more creative shots like this one), the binary animation, and the explanation of parallel universes. I think this idea is good enough for a feature topic, in a studio production, with good acting, and polished camera and sound work.
__________________
midnightsunent

Last edited by Scoopicman; 10-21-2018 at 09:12 PM.
Scoopicman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2018, 11:13 PM   #3
cinema31297
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: India
Posts: 5
Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoopicman View Post
I'm not going to vote in your poll, because it is too limiting. If I had my choice, it would be Good plot idea, but Bad presentation.

I almost switched this off, in the first half, but the idea finally unfolds. Too bad you didn't have more devices to really lure the viewer in, because many may not have the patience to go the distance.

The pace is slow; too many lingering shots. Tight editing and transitions would help. The camera work needs improvement; put in some steady movement and thought out composition. Color correct your shots. The sound work needs help; a lot of sounds bang in and out, you can tell that outside shots are dubbed from recorded room dialogue (with echo). There was a lack of closeups, where you could really see the character pondering and emoting.

What I did like were the silhouette shots of the guy at the computer (too bad, there weren't more creative shots like this one), the binary animation, and the explanation of parallel universes. I think this idea is good enough for a feature topic, in a studio production, with good acting, and polished camera and sound work.
Thanks alot for your response bro!

1.Slow pace- i agree but it has some minute details.did you notice any difference in the costume of the lead in the first 4 mins?
2.Lingering shots - yeah i agree.those shots need to be trimmed.some are not at all necessary.i have added them for local audiences who were acquaintances of the actors.i should have edited them before uploading but unfortunately i could not catch the editor at that time and so i had to upload it as it was hoping people will adjust(you are right,most people may not have the patience).
3.Camera work needs improvement- we shot the whole film in just 2 days and we had to run to get permission just before the shoot to shoot at certain places(tedious process).we didn't had time to get prior permission.the cinematographer suddenly alotted us 2 days(only).color correction needs to be done,need more closeups-agreed.
4.Silhouette shots - thanks for your appreciation.it took about 2 hours to shoot this single scene.we used 2 mobile phone's torch and the cinematographer aligned them at some angle(most time consuming one regarding the duration of the scene) and then shot that.
5.Binary animation and parellel universe explanation - Thank you so much! I rarely get appreciated for those scenes(especially the explanation scene).i got blasted mostly as some found it hard to understand.
6.More creative ideas- i had a lot of creative ideas but i had less time and so i constrained myself.it has few other creative(not sure if it seem like that to others) shots - the entry of 'junior' character and the 'attendance list' message sending scene- it has sharp cuts.for eg. the lead character parks and gets off his bike and walk.then we suddenly show the legs of the junior(you may think him as the lead but it is a different char)-same happens for the message sender.the hotel scene is one of my favourite - when lead's friend shows the mobile to him-the core of the movie is shown-suddenly the bgm changes and the female lead is introduced who will reveal the plot later(a connection).the whatsapp message scenes-these are a bit confusing and may make peopple think ' where this happens and where that one happens?'but one can get clarity if they think and try to correlate with other scenes.
7.Good enough for a feature topic - thanks alot for these words.i too had ideas like making this as series/feature/part-2/3/... in future.For now,i have to concentrate on my studies.
8.Thanks for voting!(is that you?)

Reasons can be said but as the director i am responsible for all these.
Thank you once again bro!

Last edited by cinema31297; 10-21-2018 at 11:18 PM.
cinema31297 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 03:35 AM   #4
Scoopicman
Premiere Member
 
Scoopicman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 1,818
You have a great attitude. Not many people can take criticism so graciously. I went into some detail, because I like the idea enough that I want you to improve in the technical areas.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cinema31297 View Post
Thanks for voting!(is that you?
No, not me. As I said, the plot idea is really good.
__________________
midnightsunent
Scoopicman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 05:00 AM   #5
cinema31297
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: India
Posts: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoopicman View Post
You have a great attitude. Not many people can take criticism so graciously. I went into some detail, because I like the idea enough that I want you to improve in the technical areas.



No, not me. As I said, the plot idea is really good.
Thank you!
cinema31297 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2018, 10:15 PM   #6
cinema31297
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: India
Posts: 5
Caution STORY & SCREENPLAY BREAKDOWN

https://www.scribd.com/document/3922...play-Breakdown
or
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WgS...ew?usp=sharing

HI GUYS!!
I Have made a breakdown doc. for my short film 'Bubbles'.Do kindly read it!
It will help you get a better understanding of the story.
Thank you!
cinema31297 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
2018, latest, science fiction short, screenplay available, universe


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


©IndieTalk