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Old 08-04-2016, 06:00 PM   #1
CHuntK
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Question The Accidental Mexican (half hour comedy) - Logline feedback please

Hi everyone!

I am terribly new to this, and will never profess to be a writer... which is why I need all the help I can get! I have directed TV commercials for a while, and now hoping to transition into film and television. I work part time in Mexico (from L.A) and have discovered I have really great connections to financiers, producers, and television networks and will be pitching several of my own projects over the next few months. (But I'm interested in producing projects as well, and would love to talk to those with completed screenplay's or finalized tv pitches that are appropriate for the Mexican market).

Anyway, enough back story and on to the issue at hand... the first project we are pitching is a half hour comedy and I wonder what you think of my attempt at a logline and synopsis, criticism and advice is appreciated:

LOGLINE
An “All American” guy from New York City discovers that his immigrant parent’s faked his birth certificate when he’s deported to his family’s tiny village in Mexico.

SYNOPSIS
When Ricky was just a baby, his family crossed the border determined to make a better life in America. His parents got the best forged documents money could buy and built a comfortable “American” life in New York City. They only spoke English, cooked American food, listened to American music, and raised Ricky like any typical American kid... Never revealing to him that he was actually born in Mexico. Now an adult, Ricky is working his way up the corporate ladder, and striving to realize the “American Dream”. But an unfortunate encounter with U.S. Immigration reveals that his birth certificate was a fake and he’s deported to his grandparent’s tiny village in Mexico. The villagers welcome Ricky with open arms, even though they are a little puzzled by the clueless city slicker gringo that doesn’t even speak a word of Spanish. Life in New York City didn’t prepare Ricky for country living, and he struggles hilariously with the customs and daily hardships of life in a remote village, where he will learn what it means to be Mexican… whether he likes it or not.
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Old 08-05-2016, 09:33 AM   #2
Filman
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Logline. A New Yorker city slicker is deported to a small Mexican village where he must learn their customs or be fed to the drug lord's crocodiles.

The synopsis could start with an All-American New Yorker being arrested for no obvious reason.
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Old 08-05-2016, 10:02 AM   #3
mlesemann
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Fish out of water comedy - good!

I like Filman's logline, and think it can definitely work.
Be sure to hire a good writer.
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