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Old 11-03-2018, 06:08 AM   #1
mstasg
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Western Village!!

Is English below too poor for my short?

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1wj...2oLbHSjUlHrdEQ

I think I can't think in English....

Thanks!
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Old 11-03-2018, 06:34 AM   #2
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To poor for what? To Sell it in England?
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Old 11-03-2018, 07:28 AM   #3
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to be made and understood..
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Old 11-03-2018, 10:48 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mstasg View Post
to be made and understood..
I understood 80% of it... but I think you need a 100%

Last edited by Feutus Lapdance; 11-03-2018 at 10:55 AM.
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Old 11-03-2018, 02:05 PM   #5
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I guess your goal is not just to be understood. For English speakers your English have to be perfect. Imagine a movie in your language with mistakes in language here and there! You now understand what I'm saying, but a native English speaker can find lots of annoying mistakes in my post.
Let alone that to be made in Hollywood, perfect English is a sine qua non.

Write in your language and earn some money to translate it. Then give money for analysis, then study the book "save the cat", then re-write it in your language and give again money to translate it. Give again money for analysis. Do that process until it is "ready" and finally after your last translation, give some more money for a proofreading.

Yes life is difficult in our days if you are not a native English speaker
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Old 11-04-2018, 05:27 AM   #6
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I think I better write a musical short which has no dialogue. Anyways, dialogless is my next short.


Thanks!
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Old 11-10-2018, 02:28 PM   #7
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I want to move to USA. Some not close relatives of me live in California, our Jewish relatives. Not all my family knew that we were Jewish (my mom's dad & her grandma family). I want to be a refuge, because can't live as a Jew in Iran. I am also a software developer, but without degree. I want to start improving my English and hope can make to USA when the process is done and I can leave Iran. It needs $, too, I hope I can solve it. Do you think I am well in writing that should not abandon it, because I AM REALLY TALENTED in Writing? Or you think there is no talent?


Thanks for answers in advance!
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Old 11-10-2018, 05:19 PM   #8
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You need to write in your native language and/or find a writing partner for at least your dialogue if you want to write in English. Your characters have broken English, which I am sure is not your intention. Writing dialogue is an art form. Even those proficient in their own language may write crappy dialogue.
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:43 AM   #9
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Moving to US is always a good idea. But why don't you try Iranian cinema? Iran has great cinema! Also, I think talent is an illusion. Just write and study every day. If you feel like abandon it for any reason maybe is not your main dream and that's not wrong. You must like the process.
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Old 11-11-2018, 07:01 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mstasg View Post
Do you think I am well in writing that should not abandon it, because I AM REALLY TALENTED in Writing? Or you think there is no talent?


Thanks for answers in advance!
In my opinion Talent is a combination of Dept of vision, creativity and hardt work. I don't know how talented you are. You're English is lacking. If you want to become better you should practice it more. It's been more than a year since I have read a message from you and in that time it did not improve much. If you want to become good in English you have to take it more seriously. At this moment Pedramyz is much closer of solving the same obstacles. I believe that he will succeed....

Last edited by Feutus Lapdance; 11-11-2018 at 07:08 AM.
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Old 11-12-2018, 09:27 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mstasg View Post
I want to start improving my English and hope can make to USA when the process is done and I can leave Iran. It needs $, too, I hope I can solve it. Do you think I am well in writing that should not abandon it, because I AM REALLY TALENTED in Writing? Or you think there is no talent?
November 2015 (three years ago) you first posted here under the user
name “nobody”. You told us that not only did Steven Spielberg read
your writings but told you you are “very smart even compared to Hollywood
writers”. You are the ONLY writer here on indietalk to have your writing
read by Steven Spielberg and even got some personal feedback from him.

Now in November 2018 you what to start improving your english.
Something I told you to do three years ago. Imagine if you had spent the
last three years improving your english...

Clearly you are really talented in writing; Steven Spielberg said so.
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Old 11-12-2018, 11:45 AM   #12
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I think I am talented in wriitng, because I love my vision more. I think others don't understand my English well OR the others understand but don't like my story, I am not going to be Next Steven Spielberg for sure..
Steven Spielberg is Not close to me, if the one who told me it told the truth about it, then he did read and liked it. I didn't get it from a %100 certain source, though, and can't describe more..




Thanks!
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Old 11-12-2018, 03:01 PM   #13
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That about Steven Spielberg suprised me! He is my hero and my main "teacher"! He is a real magician when it comes to create emotions! Could you PLEASE share the way that someone can have his screenplay read by Spielberg?
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Old 11-12-2018, 04:46 PM   #14
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I can't describe it, & it is through not the best way. I think others can help you more...
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Old 11-13-2018, 08:44 AM   #15
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Am I wrong by saying people who deny I am talented in writing don't know whole of story? Others did not say anything about it,,

I will show you by detailed example in a new thread soon...

Last edited by mstasg; 11-13-2018 at 08:49 AM.
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