The Girl Without A Song Trailer Test

Okay, so I watched it a couple times, and I think you've got something to work with here. But yeah, it needs to be much shorter. 2.5 minutes is a really long time for an indie trailer. Marvel and their ilk can get away with it because they are who they are. I think filmmakers like you and I should aim for more like 1 minute max.

Keep it tight. Absolutely nothing even slightly extraneous.

You kinda gave away the ending in this trailer. She gets the guy. Great. Don't tell us that. I think you should end the trailer with her deciding to fight against her shyness, but with the end results still up in the air.

And we don't need to know too much details about this song-machine. Cuz that's just whimsy anyway. We need to know more about her. Open the trailer with something about how she is stuck in loneliness. Then introduce us to this concept of the song-machine that she doesn't fit. Then hint that she is going to take a bold step forward.

Is this a feature or a short?
 
I'm with CF: don't give it away.
You could indeed end with 'practising enthousiasm' and maybe a sad dramatic shot followed by one that hints at her desire to be different.
I'm not sure about leaving the song machine out of it is a good idea; it made me curious :P (But things can be shorter)
It makes it a bit different than the usual 'shy girl coming of age and taking control of her life' story, even if it's just a catalyst for the story.
 
Okay. I shortened it to two minutes. I basically took out the ending.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBXpgvdHWFA
or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBXpgvdHWFA

@CF & Walter
I understand what you guys are saying, but that's actually not the ending. She doesn't really get him in the end. But I can see how it can seem like a give-away to the plot and lose the interest of people. It was a good point, whether that's the ending or not.

I can't really convey the loneliness she feels by 5 second clips from the film. If there is a way to do it, I'm not sure I know how to do it. It's a feeling that I try to generate over the course of the movie. It's a feature length film. It's about a hour and 53 minutes long including credits.

And my dear Walter, of course I'm not going to let you see the machine. I don't want to quench that curiosity of yours before you watch the movie (heh, heh). The truth of course, is that I don't really show the machine for too long in the movie either. My budget for the machine was low. So if I showed it for too long, you'd be like "wait a minute... that's a bullshit looking machine. This sucks. Aveek sucks. His movie blows. This machine is ridiculous." I want to give you other reasons to say "wait a minute... that's bullshit. This sucks. Aveek sucks. His movie blows. This movie is ridiculous."

Thanks for the comments boys :)
 
Nice
keep it up.
timing is OK for me although i love to see another trailer where like @Cracker Funk stagnated above, we see more about girl.

Best of luck for your Film.
 
I think I want to either write a warm up article for this, or get a sneak peek at the film and write a full review, because this looks like a very sweet film.

I think if you are interested you can write to me on statusquomedia@gmail.com

On the trailer (the second one) I would chop out the part at 0:37 where he basically repeats himself, and come back in to the guy at 47 seconds in, where he says everyone has song...after that I would actually add back on the part at the end that you chopped because it lets us know that this girl doesn't just take all this abuse for nothing...with all that said though, trailer number one made me instantly want to watch the film....
 
StatusQuoMedia said:
I think I want to either write a warm up article for this, or get a sneak peek at the film and write a full review, because this looks like a very sweet film.

I think if you are interested you can write to me on statusquomedia@gmail.com

On the trailer (the second one) I would chop out the part at 0:37 where he basically repeats himself, and come back in to the guy at 47 seconds in, where he says everyone has song...after that I would actually add back on the part at the end that you chopped because it lets us know that this girl doesn't just take all this abuse for nothing...with all that said though, trailer number one made me instantly want to watch the film....
Click to expand...

Hey,
Thanks for watching. I'll keep this in mind, and will most definitely be in touch as I near the release. I'm planning to do an online, limited time free release. Once everything is near ready, I'll send you a link so you have ample time to view it and write about it, should you choose to. I'll be in touch regarding the release so it would be great if we could time any review of it (I understand that you have to like the film first) coincide with the release.

Very much appreciate the offer. I'm pretty sure you'll like it, at least as an overall story and movie. I've had a limited showing, and I'm actually more than pleased by the reaction of the non-filmmakers who saw it. And that's really the group I care about.

Also, it's a funny thing, the comments I've gotten about the trailer. Filmmakers advise me on time, and skin color (I admit that some of the skin tone is a little more pink than normal. I'll try to do some further correction) or how the music is too dramatic for an admittedly slow movie. Non-filmmakers just tell me that it looks exciting to them. Some of them are confused what the story is about and so they wrote asking me about it. Not a one complained about the length or the color palette. One audio person mentioned how part of the audio is messed up, and he's right, I'll correct it. But the differences in perspective is quite something.

Once again, much, much thanks for the offer. Go All Blacks!! I'd give you a Haka if I could :)
Best regards,
Aveek
 
oh please no Haka...we reached peak Haka a while back when there was a ginger bread version, no doubt still floating around online somewhere.

Yes it is funny, I have found the same thing with film makers being harsher critics then film viewers. Probably because for the film viewer the only question is, did they like it? with yes, no, or kind of, being their only 3 answers.

Film makers notice everything.


Yes, certainly keep me in the loop please. This looks good to me :)
 
Lookin' good, Aveek.

I think I do agree with the others about the need to shorten and tighten it up a bit.

I'm no editor, but using the material you have in the second trailer, I made an attempt to suggest what I might like to try out to tighten that edit. Roughly speaking. Of course it's hard to say without seeing what they would look and sound like. I know; I gotta lotta nerve. :P Just a friendly attempt, that's all. :)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Streetcar shot

GUY: Oh my God, I can't tell ya how good it made me feel to hear my song!

BOY: It felt amazing!

AVEEK: It was the greatest feeling ever!

EVERYBODY

DOCTOR: I connect the patient to a special machine.

Show machine.

DOCTOR: We all have a song inside of us and this machine interprets and then plays that song.

HAS A SONG

DUDE: It just gives me this incredible feeling every time I hear it! You gotta go get your song!

DOCTOR: My system has no anomalies until now! Until you!

EXCEPT HER

DOCTOR: I think something's wrong with you!

ASSISTANT: DOCTOR

DOCTOR: And you come her to taunt me!

ASSISTANT: DOCTOR!

Shot of girl on streetcar.

Shot of girl in bed. But cut the first few moments. Start where she is crying and just before she bends over. Finish where it finishes now.

Keep the "She thinks she's a writer" scene, but cut the off-screen "Why don't you guys leave her alone" part.

WILL SHE FIND HER SONG

Cut next scene down to:

DOCTOR: You are terribly, horribly shy!

....and her reactions

SHRINK: Shyness. It is absolutely not natural to human beings.

Cut the "In fact...." part.

Instead, cut away to the girl again or whatever.

Come back to Shrink.

SHRINK: It's antithetical to our survival instincts to go out there and get what we want.

Back to girl listening as you have it.

Park Scene and title etc.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Looks like a nice film, Aveek! :)
 
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Richy my friend. That's quite a breakdown:yes:

Gives me a lot of insight into what I think is working, and what people are actually experiencing.

Yes sir. I'll keep your edit list in mind. I'll make a couple of more versions. I'll try to make shorter versions to see how they work.

Thank you sir, as always, for your kind words. :)
Cheers.

Edit: I just watched the trailer with your edit list in mind. It's an excellent breakdown. Thanks Richy.
 
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