• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

adventure story

M

michael

Guest
this is my newest idea for a movie and would really appreciate it you guys could resond and tell me how bad it sucks or it''s positive points and any ideas you have for improvements. thanks in advance for your help.
sorry for the length.


THE CHRONICLES OF THEE


BASIC TIMELINE -
The movie begins with a man in a field next to a dusty road, shotgun under his chin. The man is working up the nerve to pull the trigger but is so far, unable to do it. A car begins driving down the road he is sitting next too. The man moves out of sight on the side of the road and watches as the car comes to a stop and a woman gets out of the passenger seat. The woman is crying as she holds a bundle in her arms which is in fact a child. She lays the child on the ground in a basket, well wrapped within blankets. Hesitantly she re-enters the car. The vehicle drives off out of sight and the man in hiding maneuvers over to the child and looks into his face. Eventually the man smiles and then picks up the basket into his arms and walks off down the road in the opposite direction the car had gone down earlier.
The time has now fast-forwarded to twelve years later, and the suicidal man is now a proud and happy father who is known as the town lunatic. He is in love with his son, pickles, and his self-employed business which involves the selling of beer from his home brewery in his bathroom. He is a very happy, disgruntled man who wears a handlebar mustache and a suit that is old, dirty, and frayed. As the father provides beer for the local pub he makes deliveries about every other week. Upon his visits he is chided into thinking he is a real gentleman while the cons smirk at him behind his back. The mayor is among this pack. The mayor strives for a town devoid of any diversity, and in so, plots the removal of the father. The mayor suggests that the father give custody of the son over to another family who can take care of the child in an environment that is “right” for him. Seeing as neither the son or father want to be separated, they set off in the father’s hot air balloon which the father had been creating for some time. The duo had planned to see things that before they had only heard about. To pass the time, the father tells the son stories. One morning the son wakes up to find himself alone to face the challenges of piloting the hot air balloon alone and the worst grief of all, not knowing.
The son crashes onto a small island and is found out by a crazy, banished by the world and a result of their fears. His name is John and is a complete paranoid intimidated and angered by the slightest of things. The boy stays in John’s small hut for just long enough to fix his balloon and is off again until he once again crashes, this time into a dessert. Hot, alone, and above all, thirsty. The boy sets off hoping to come across some life. As he becomes more and more fatigued, he sees what he thinks is a group of blue robes coming at him. As they approach the boy loses consciousness.
When he awakes he too is robed and is inedited into the wanderers group, and unknowingly, into a complicated social hierarchy.
The chief of this group is in love with power and the thought of more of it. His son strives only to please and earn the respect of his father. The boy soon to shares these feelings and the two come into conflict to please the chief. This debate is finally settled the day they enter a town to re-supply.
As the group enters the city, the mood changes suddenly into one of apprehensiveness. It isn’t long before a fight breaks out between the residents and the immigrants and, seeing their justified chance, the law enforcement open fire on the wanderers. The son takes a shot in his robed leg, and scrambles out of the fray to cradle his wound in the sanctuary of an ally. In the background the death of the chief is seen as is his son cradling his father’s broken body. The boy is eventually taken by unconsciousness. When he wakes up he finds himself in a remote cabin in the custody of a withered, wise man who reminds him much of his father (they look identical and will be played by the same actors) and the son takes and instant liking to him. He soon finds that his new caretaker is in fact a Christian bible smuggler for underground churches in China. He takes the son on one of his forays and shows him the power of God and faith by leaving the bibles in plain sight as he drives through a customs check point. The officials look into the car, but seem not to notice the large amount of bibles stacked one upon the other, in the back seat. The pair eventually reach the church which is set off in a town far from any announced road. They are welcomed by children who come flocking down the streets to surround and welcome the newcomers. The son is so enthralled and intrigued with the new company, he decides to stay and help indefinitely as he comes to meeting a parentless young boy. The bible smuggler whishes his him well and promises to visit when he is able. As the years pass the son stays with the children in the small Chinese village, telling them stories of his time with his father in the hot air balloon, and his life among the homeless wanderers, and the shot that finally ended his adventures and gave him the limp he maintains up to the present. He becomes a fatherly figure in the young parentless boy’s life, and in doing so, the boy learns for the first time, what it is like to truly love as he has not done so in such a time.

Me and my co-writers have decided on the theme as being one of love in it's truest sense. Thus, everyone in our story has a love or passion for something else.

thanks alot for taking the time to read my story and i hope to read your responses soon.
 
It's very Gilliamesque. I like it alot, very strange and wonderful. I especially liked the Bible smuggler openly displaying the Bibles and still getting past customs, it reminds me of when missionaries would come speak at the church of my childhood with similar stories.

Good luck, I look forward to seeing it.

Poke
 
I like it. Very jumpy though. I know this is a treatment of sorts but you will have to be careful not to lose the viewer with the passing out and awakenings in different place and with different people. I think there is a twist of some sort waiting to happen. My view is a crazy ending yet kind of in line with the whole flow of the film though. End back at the road dad's face comes into view with from the dark as lights gleam on his face. Pan away and see the man who once held the gun kneeling down over the basket. Tires come to a screeching halt, as the lights on his face were headlights. A woman jumps out of the car and runt to the basket. The man looks at her and then at the child. The woman is motionless but weeping. The man picks up the basket and hands it to the lady. She says thank you and hurries back to her car. As she drive away you see the man walking down the street away from the camera. The shot pans to reveal the shotgun lying on the ground and the man is walking away. The end.
My two cents. I do think it would drive home the point of love and the overpowering effect even the thought of it could have.
 
Back
Top