a no budget shortfilm made with friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkyuiA9pw90&feature=g-all-u

so this is a no budget short film made with some friends its our first one with an actuall story (its a wierd story but still) the other ones i have made are pretty much just shooting things with guns . and i know that the story doesn't really make any sense at all but that's just because we came up with it as we were filming it maybe we will do a prequel or a sequel to answer some of your Questions that pops up in your head when you watch this but plz just take a look and say what you think. note: im new of course it wont be perfect....

'Grats on finishing your first narrative film!

story doesn't really make any sense (...) we came up with it as we were filming it

Click to expand...

Please don't do that again.

Btw, the ending is terribly cliché (and serves no purpose).

Now that that's out of the way...

... it had several cool elements to it. Are you serious about making more shorts that tie into this? With effort, you could come up with something pretty entertaining. Take the time to really sit down & develop the properties and characters you've established, and you could make this work.

If you need some inspiration, there's a few threads on the forums that cover films/shorts with only one or two characters in them, and in contained areas. Maybe look some of those up.

I didn't mind that short, it kept my interest all the way through. I agree with Zensteve that you should develop this idea more.

I would have liked to see more made of the fact that when you go through the door you end up in the same room again, I think this concept gives you a lot of room to play.

For a short where you didn't have a plan you definitely have the seeds of something really intriguing here.