This is an un-edited article I had to write for a class. I think the message is clear. what do you think?
The Orgy of Species
The other day, I went out with a woman for the first time in a while and it was great because we had sex, but we also moved on and never called each other after that. We never hung out or really thought about one another but that was ok with us just as it’s ok for many Americans to do this.
Now, I’m sure all the God-fearing people at this point are getting sick to their stomachs as they read this. They’re probably about to exit out and go on to some other time-wasting website because they feel like this is perverse and wrong. They believe in the sanctity of marriage and they should, but they really don’t know why they should. They’ll probably quote the bible and say things about how God intended for men and women to be in union with each other. But, that doesn’t really explain the reason why we all have sex and why we love it so much.
Now of course, all the liberal-minded people reading this who think God is dead are nodding their heads because they think they know where I’m going with this. They think I’m going to sit here and talk about moral relativism and how people need to define their own values and sexuality. They think I’m going to quote Herbert Marcuse or Emma Goldman and proclaim that all the social institutions we use to govern ourselves are nothing more than a conjuration of the imagination and therefore, subject to change…Well, I’m not here to say any of that because even that paradigm is archaic and outdated.
I’m here to say that human sexuality and how we engage in the act is inextricably linked to our environment. But, that doesn’t mean we can define sexuality or how we behave toward it because we’re wired to respond to the environment in a certain way, even when that environment changes.
Every thought or idea that ever came and went was nothing more than a reaction to what’s out there. And even though those thoughts and ideas varied across time, at its lowest common denominator they were all rationalized in a way that made us feel ok with the actions we took to maximize our survival and that’s because we’re programmed that way.
So to understand who we are and why we have sex, we have to understand that it isn’t about listening to God or the 20th Century intellectuals who say that we should break away from the traditional norms. Rather, it’s about nature and how we respond to changes in our environment.
Let’s take a step back. A long time ago, our societies were small and fragile. Death was a common occurrence, which is of course, disruptive to the ultimate goal of all living things: To live on. But we couldn’t live forever just as we can’t live forever today, so we did the next best thing. We made babies, which are nothing more than copies of ourselves…Well ok. Maybe they’re not copies of our selves but they’re pretty damn near close. We share 99% of our genes with other strangers and when it comes to the rest of the animal kingdom, the variation is only a few percentage points.
In any case, death was a common occurrence, particularly before the Industrial Revolution and the natural response was to have as many kids as possible and create a rigid set of rules that everyone had to adhere to because that was the most efficient way to preserve your legacy.
And this is exactly what happened. We had a lot of children and we created the concept of marriage to ensure that our genes would pass on. Think about all those history lessons you took in school that told stories about the way women were treated. They were tied to men who protected them so that they could have children and allow the family to live on. The whole idea of having a patriarchail system was so that women could be controlled, not simply because men were mean, though many were and continue to be. Men were patriarchal because they desperately wanted to preserve the legacy.
That’s why women were subjected to staying around the house. It’s why women in Islamic Cultures wore and continue to wear Burkhas. It’s why they were traded off and treated like second-class citizens because sub-consciously, nothing was more important than the survival of humanity. The only reason why we did it so harshly was because we were too simple-minded and didn’t understand the dynamic implications it could have on society. It was easier just to establish pre-determined roles, especially before the Industrial Revolution when life was really harsh.
Now this isn’t to say that we should resort to more traditional standards. Of course we should progress, but we shouldn’t do it so blindly. Understanding the way we deal with sexuality can be better approached if we simply understand our whole reason for doing it. Sex equals human survival and a payoff for individuals because having sex is the best feeling you’ll ever experience. And family fits into the equation because the structure of the family ensures that a legacy will continue on safely within the confines of a chaotic universe. It sounds pretty basic, but we always put the bigger picture on the back burner and get lost in our rationalizations for doing such and such.
I’m sure a lot of people right now are screaming that it’s way more complicated than that, but it really isn’t. We just think it is because we shroud the real meaning of sex and family in stories that we all tell ourselves. You don’t believe me? Just take a look at where we are today.
Divorce rates have skyrocketed in the last 100 years in the West and fertility rates have plummeted down to an average of 1.7% per year. If these numbers existed in the past we wouldn’t be alive, today. But here they are and we’re still alive because mortality rates have significantly decreased and our standard of living has reduced the need to create more and more copies of ourselves.
Yet somehow, a good chunk of our population is still freaking out about this. A good many of us still believe that because we’re having less and less kids and because the traditional concept of the family is dying, that somehow we’re going through this great moral decay that will eventually eat us from the inside out.
But that’s not what’s happening. Younger generations are changing their views of sex and family because the need for old standards is well…no longer needed. We don’t need husbands and wives or 20 kids so we’re opting out and just having some good old fashion fun. Now, that isn’t to say that everyone is doing this. I know a lot of people who still want to get married and have kids, but there are certainly fewer and fewer people who desire to do this simply because it’s no longer necessary.
And so that begs the question…What’s next? What will relationships be like 200 years down the road? Better yet, what will relationships be like if we can live much longer, possibly even forever? If we could live forever in a near-perfect utopia, then would we even have families? Would we even have the desire to have kids? What about sex altogether?
This sounds so depressing and impossible for us right now. Perhaps we’ll always enjoy the pleasure of sex and starting families. I certainly hope so. But, you can’t ignore the way we’re hard-wired to respond to our environment and you can’t ignore future trends.
We need to be mindful of these changes because if we blindly move forward without understanding how they affect us, then we’re liable to eat each other alive out of fear and ignorance. We’re already doing this with issues like abortion and marriage. We’re still distracting ourselves with these issues and not realizing that these issues are byproducts of much larger trends that are only going to grow more complex.
So if we take the time right now to de-construct these trends, then we’ll be better prepared to handle the future of sex and what the family means. And maybe if we start doing this, then we can start channeling our time and energy into things that are more important than the future of sex and family. Because at the end of the day, whatever’s going to happen is going to happen. No matter how many abortion clinics we blow up or how many streets we take over for a couple of hours in protest. It’s just the way things are and you know? That’s actually pretty comforting to me. At least if we have no control then we don’t have to worry about doing anything at all.
So stop freaking out and focus on what you can control. I promise that you’ll make a better person and a better future for all of us.
The Orgy of Species
The other day, I went out with a woman for the first time in a while and it was great because we had sex, but we also moved on and never called each other after that. We never hung out or really thought about one another but that was ok with us just as it’s ok for many Americans to do this.
Now, I’m sure all the God-fearing people at this point are getting sick to their stomachs as they read this. They’re probably about to exit out and go on to some other time-wasting website because they feel like this is perverse and wrong. They believe in the sanctity of marriage and they should, but they really don’t know why they should. They’ll probably quote the bible and say things about how God intended for men and women to be in union with each other. But, that doesn’t really explain the reason why we all have sex and why we love it so much.
Now of course, all the liberal-minded people reading this who think God is dead are nodding their heads because they think they know where I’m going with this. They think I’m going to sit here and talk about moral relativism and how people need to define their own values and sexuality. They think I’m going to quote Herbert Marcuse or Emma Goldman and proclaim that all the social institutions we use to govern ourselves are nothing more than a conjuration of the imagination and therefore, subject to change…Well, I’m not here to say any of that because even that paradigm is archaic and outdated.
I’m here to say that human sexuality and how we engage in the act is inextricably linked to our environment. But, that doesn’t mean we can define sexuality or how we behave toward it because we’re wired to respond to the environment in a certain way, even when that environment changes.
Every thought or idea that ever came and went was nothing more than a reaction to what’s out there. And even though those thoughts and ideas varied across time, at its lowest common denominator they were all rationalized in a way that made us feel ok with the actions we took to maximize our survival and that’s because we’re programmed that way.
So to understand who we are and why we have sex, we have to understand that it isn’t about listening to God or the 20th Century intellectuals who say that we should break away from the traditional norms. Rather, it’s about nature and how we respond to changes in our environment.
Let’s take a step back. A long time ago, our societies were small and fragile. Death was a common occurrence, which is of course, disruptive to the ultimate goal of all living things: To live on. But we couldn’t live forever just as we can’t live forever today, so we did the next best thing. We made babies, which are nothing more than copies of ourselves…Well ok. Maybe they’re not copies of our selves but they’re pretty damn near close. We share 99% of our genes with other strangers and when it comes to the rest of the animal kingdom, the variation is only a few percentage points.
In any case, death was a common occurrence, particularly before the Industrial Revolution and the natural response was to have as many kids as possible and create a rigid set of rules that everyone had to adhere to because that was the most efficient way to preserve your legacy.
And this is exactly what happened. We had a lot of children and we created the concept of marriage to ensure that our genes would pass on. Think about all those history lessons you took in school that told stories about the way women were treated. They were tied to men who protected them so that they could have children and allow the family to live on. The whole idea of having a patriarchail system was so that women could be controlled, not simply because men were mean, though many were and continue to be. Men were patriarchal because they desperately wanted to preserve the legacy.
That’s why women were subjected to staying around the house. It’s why women in Islamic Cultures wore and continue to wear Burkhas. It’s why they were traded off and treated like second-class citizens because sub-consciously, nothing was more important than the survival of humanity. The only reason why we did it so harshly was because we were too simple-minded and didn’t understand the dynamic implications it could have on society. It was easier just to establish pre-determined roles, especially before the Industrial Revolution when life was really harsh.
Now this isn’t to say that we should resort to more traditional standards. Of course we should progress, but we shouldn’t do it so blindly. Understanding the way we deal with sexuality can be better approached if we simply understand our whole reason for doing it. Sex equals human survival and a payoff for individuals because having sex is the best feeling you’ll ever experience. And family fits into the equation because the structure of the family ensures that a legacy will continue on safely within the confines of a chaotic universe. It sounds pretty basic, but we always put the bigger picture on the back burner and get lost in our rationalizations for doing such and such.
I’m sure a lot of people right now are screaming that it’s way more complicated than that, but it really isn’t. We just think it is because we shroud the real meaning of sex and family in stories that we all tell ourselves. You don’t believe me? Just take a look at where we are today.
Divorce rates have skyrocketed in the last 100 years in the West and fertility rates have plummeted down to an average of 1.7% per year. If these numbers existed in the past we wouldn’t be alive, today. But here they are and we’re still alive because mortality rates have significantly decreased and our standard of living has reduced the need to create more and more copies of ourselves.
Yet somehow, a good chunk of our population is still freaking out about this. A good many of us still believe that because we’re having less and less kids and because the traditional concept of the family is dying, that somehow we’re going through this great moral decay that will eventually eat us from the inside out.
But that’s not what’s happening. Younger generations are changing their views of sex and family because the need for old standards is well…no longer needed. We don’t need husbands and wives or 20 kids so we’re opting out and just having some good old fashion fun. Now, that isn’t to say that everyone is doing this. I know a lot of people who still want to get married and have kids, but there are certainly fewer and fewer people who desire to do this simply because it’s no longer necessary.
And so that begs the question…What’s next? What will relationships be like 200 years down the road? Better yet, what will relationships be like if we can live much longer, possibly even forever? If we could live forever in a near-perfect utopia, then would we even have families? Would we even have the desire to have kids? What about sex altogether?
This sounds so depressing and impossible for us right now. Perhaps we’ll always enjoy the pleasure of sex and starting families. I certainly hope so. But, you can’t ignore the way we’re hard-wired to respond to our environment and you can’t ignore future trends.
We need to be mindful of these changes because if we blindly move forward without understanding how they affect us, then we’re liable to eat each other alive out of fear and ignorance. We’re already doing this with issues like abortion and marriage. We’re still distracting ourselves with these issues and not realizing that these issues are byproducts of much larger trends that are only going to grow more complex.
So if we take the time right now to de-construct these trends, then we’ll be better prepared to handle the future of sex and what the family means. And maybe if we start doing this, then we can start channeling our time and energy into things that are more important than the future of sex and family. Because at the end of the day, whatever’s going to happen is going to happen. No matter how many abortion clinics we blow up or how many streets we take over for a couple of hours in protest. It’s just the way things are and you know? That’s actually pretty comforting to me. At least if we have no control then we don’t have to worry about doing anything at all.
So stop freaking out and focus on what you can control. I promise that you’ll make a better person and a better future for all of us.
