Horror Cliche

I appreciate your comments, but the screenplay does register as 'horror' to me. It came across more as an unfinished adventure. Because the emotional component doesn't really resolve, it feels like there's more to come. The scenes themselves don't invoke fear or revulsion, though there is a sense of foreshadowing that is, again, never realized. I never get a sense that he won't come back for them. I never get a sense they are in danger. They seem to make no effort to save themselves to provoke a sense of futility. For me, it seems like "Act 1"--these are the main characters and this is the problem, they're stranded. Now I need the rest of the story.

Act 2 needs to have them trying to 'save' themselves. You mentioned 'stupid choices'. They can make 'smart choices' and still find themselves in difficult situations. They need to have more contact with the tribal members. Act 3 is when the full hope is dashed or the horror is realized.

So far, it seems like a group of 'meddling kids' on joyride in the desert who wind up stranded as their friend races off for help. Some creepy Native American scenes are tossed in as foreshadowing for something yet to be learned. That's "Jaw/Javelina" to this point from a reader/viewer's perspective. It feels like an interesting start and we're waiting for more to come.

I think it's good. It just needs more emotional completion. As it stands, the characters just seem the same as when they started. There needs to be some growth or change. That's part of the emotional resolution need to make the movie feel 'completed'.