Character Introduction Guidance

A screenplay is a blueprint for what will be filmed - and anything that can't actually be filmed is out of place. Physical appearance is OK, but only if it is relevant to the story. If a character is ground down by years of work, or is zippy and fastidious, then their speech and actions should convey this. Nobody will ever buy that a character is 'witty and streetsmart' if their dialogue is flat.

maverick_gsp11 said:

This is Rahul, I am looking for some guidance regarding CHARACTER introductions, I am just curious if one should just describe physical appearance or can we also make a generic comment on their disposition or outlook towards life? I have read screenplays but there is no generic rule.

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That's a fair question. As Maz stated, most of what is in a screenplay is what we can see. The screenplay is a blueprint. So what do I need to know as an actor, director and producer?

With a character, I need to know what they look like for casting purposes: age and appearance. That can include the profession. We learn about a character through what they say and their actions. Most producers will adjust scripts to meet their needs--fit a certain actor, location or budget. If you're not the one producing or directing your own writing, you want to be sure only to put in what is necessary to make sense of your character in the story. So the description IS NOT the place for back story. The audience is not privy to that. Many new writers put in too much information. If a description is more than two sentences (or two lines), it's often too long. That's not a rule, just a guide to evaluate "Am I putting in too much?"

All of your examples below could easily be pulled from modern scripts. The problem is that there are caveats. (1) What an established writer or writer/director can put in a script is different from what is often acceptable from an unknown writer. (2) A published script is often a shooting or continuity script and not the original spec script, so it has been amended to follow the film. Scripts can change radically from spec to screen. (3) Different readers/producers/directors have preferences so what flies for one may not fly for another. So you want to develop your characters based on their actions and dialogue. You can use descriptions of the visual and auditory environment to also pass along information.

Let me address pro's and con's of the examples.

maverick_gsp11 said:

Few examples are given below:-
1) MARK , 30s, gawky, unkempt, beaten down by the years of grind work but he hasn't yet given up on the world.

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How do you show the audience that he's "beaten down by the years of grind work but he hasn't yet given up on the world"? That's information passed to the reader of the script. Now, in fairness, it does give information to me as the actor and director. Is there some way I can translate that into an action or visual statement?

MARK (30s), gawky, unkempt, labors on a car engine in a large shop. As he presses, the nut turns. Relief. He glances up at the row of cars awaiting his attention. His smile fades briefly, he shakes his head and goes back to work.

It's a bit longer but it now conveys something about his world and his outlook. While you could use the original, it provides no grounding. If you were asked as a makeup artist or costume designer to create "beaten down by the years of grind work but he hasn't yet given up on the world", what would that look like? As an actor/director, how much of the script do I need to read to find out what that "grind work" is? Tell me up front--accountant, auto mechanic, salesman?

maverick_gsp11 said:

2)KATE, 30s, a few extra kilos, vacant eyes that betray her keen interest in world around her.

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Again how do you show that? 'Vacant eyes' suggests being zoned out and opposite of 'keen interest'. 'Betray' to me means 'reveal'. As an actor, I'm confused. Here again, action would help to clarify what is meant.
Here she appears to be staring vacantly but we see she is actually fixated on a life and death struggle though it could be any event/object relevant to the story.

maverick_gsp11 said:

3) something like "soft spoken but not shy" . "/// zippy and fastidious.

Are above examples correct in terms of screenplay grammar ?

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Again, remember the motto "Show, don't tell". How do you translate this into action and dialogue? There's no specific 'screenplay grammar'. You want to use descriptions that are evocative but grounded in what appears and is heard on the screen. As an 'assignment', how would you translate "soft spoken but not shy" in your script? Good luck.

thanks so much for this detailed reply,

This is a spec script so I am opting to be on the safer side and exclude all the unnecessary stuff. Putting on too much unnecessary info can create the wrong impression about my writing skills.

I just feel that the reader can ignore NO DETAILED CHARACTER INTRO if he really connects with the characters by the end,

I am just going with

MARK, 30s,
KATE, 20s,

kind of CHAR introduction.

your replies were of much help

Rahul

If it's not what we can see or hear, it damn well better be actable direction when describing a character. Not a synopsis of their life.

maverick_gsp11 said:

I just feel that the reader can ignore NO DETAILED CHARACTER INTRO if he really connects with the characters by the end, I am just going with MARK, 30s, KATE, 20s, kind of CHAR introduction.

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That's fine but writing is a balancing act. You don't want to be too Spartan in your description either. Part of capturing a reader's interest is some minimal description. You want visually to be able to separate your characters. As a general practice, I give more attention to my lead characters' descriptions. Other supporting and incidental characters less so. But a couple word description is never amiss.

maverick_gsp11 said:

I just feel that the reader can ignore NO DETAILED CHARACTER INTRO if he really connects with the characters by the end,

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You need your reader and audience to connect to your characters from page 1. If you don't have their interest by page 3, your script is toast. I don't want you to take away the wrong impression. The descriptions above are the right length but the wrong content. Your task is to convey that 'internal description' visually through action, description and dialogue what we often take for granted in creative or novelistic writing.

"MARK, 30's, gawky and unkempt" is fine. It's what follows that needs development. "KATE, 30s, a few extra kilos" is fine. Again, it's what follows you're trying to ground in a visual experience. As a reader, those couple other words make the character less sterile and more relatable. As an AD, it gives me a sense of casting. As an actor and director, it conveys some behaviors, backstory and nuances to add to the delivery. Sometimes, in a period piece, you provide additional details relevant to the scene.

I want to stress there are no hard-and-fast rules. As you aptly put it, "opt to be on the safer side and exclude all the unnecessary stuff." However, artistry requires just a little fluff to give flavor to your writing. You don't want it so bland that it gets ignored as well. It shouldn't simply read like an accounting sheet or criminal report. "MARK (30s) meets with KATE (30s) by the park bench." This is boring and also suggests lack of imagination to a reader.
They say the same thing but by adding a bit of description, we can add tons of nuance. It's better to have characters move into a scene rather than start static. So even keeping it simple,
Now as a reader, I'm wondering why is Kate glancing about. Is she self-conscious? Perhaps she's impatient and been waiting. Then Mark appears. He's gawky and unkempt. Is he rushing from work? This pair seems mismatched tall, thin guy with short, stout gal. His hurried approach then hesitancy suggests there will be a conflict. A little description immediately leads me into drama and the scene is charged. Possibilities emerge in my mind as I anticipate what might unfold contrasted to "MARK (30s) meets with KATE (30s) by the park bench."

You don't want to overwrite but you don't want to underwrite either. Good luck.

Hi FantasySciFi,

Thanks for such a detailed reply, I have learned a lot from the examples given by you.

After reading your examples, I am opting for a concise character description , nothing related to the back story but only related to what the CHARACTER is doing currently in the scene ,, and that thing in a way should capture his/her essence.

Taking from what you have listed, I have made my scenes a bit more dynamic as per your scene descriptions.

Again, I am extremely thankful to you for taking the time out and drafting such great replies, your reply is equivalent to script note.

best wishes for your career.

Regards,
Rahul