Overall, I think it is good though predictable. I did find the dialogue just a bit long. I found myself wanting them to just move along and would skip ahead a bit. My suggestion would be to read through the talking head sequences and really be more critical about what is needed--between Ann and Eve. The staircase scene, the scene at the banquet all just seemed to drag on a bit longer than needed. The story has a great feel that as a reader I want to get into but the pacing makes it feel like you're dragging your feet. It was predictable but with these kind of flicks, they usually are. I thought the scene with Kaufman was fairly tasteless and could be reduced with little impact on the story. I would have preferred to see some originality in the plot and ending.
It's kind of "Buffy" meets "Dexter". It would have been interesting for Eve to realize the Order is also a kind of serial killing organization. I think more could have been done with Tony. Also, the virginity issue really only draws attention to the fact that there are no fathers, which becomes more obvious as we read/watch. So why Father Paul then instead of a Mother Pauline? The more you watch, the less sense it makes.
It is decently written but overall drags due to dialogue and has a cookie cutter feel. The audience knows what's happening and wondering why Eve isn't piecing it together. And instead of being on the edge of our seats, it feels more tedious waiting for the inevitable.
To be honest, as a producer I would be skeptical. One, the female lead starts badass then mellows. Not a strong market to men or women. Two, the plot is fairly cookie cutter so it has a limited date night movie niche, where the goal is to have an excuse to make out and ignore the screen. Not sure that's a good reason to spend the bucks to make it. Sorry if that comes across as brutal. Given all the costumes, locations, etc. this film is going to require a hefty investment to make. I'm not confident you could recover the $100K+ it would take to make it. If it came to me, I would give it a "consider but with revision".
