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Montage sequences

F

Future_Screen

I find montage are a good technique to create suspense? (Ok. Not for every story. But for the most.) I mean, if you describe the final race of script XY there would be it good. (Or a training’s montage á la Rocky.) Now but I have a question about it: Is this always following style? Or are there other techniques, too?

Int. Body (montage)

- The brain is activated and send signals,
- The nerves forward them quickly,
- The blood cells race through the veins,
- The heart beats heavily and faster
 
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If that scene moves the story forward it is right. You know, after such a montage, there must follow a scene, watching which I will forget to breath for some seconds..
 
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@Panos Here:

FADE IN:

EXT. RACE STADIUM – DAY

The grand stands are full of people. The audience wait eagerly that the race starts. Some are looking from the left to the right.

EXT. RACE STADIUM, RACE COURSE – LATER (DAY)

The runners are on the course, waiting that the referee gives starting signal.

The referee is coming to the course. He stops. Then he lifts the gun and shoots.

The dark-skinned racer is ready.

The racer’s eyes open wide.

INT. BODY (MONTAGE)

- The brain is activated and sends signals,
- The nerves forward them,
- The blood cells are racing through the veins,
- The heart beats heavily and faster

END OF MONTAGE

CUT TO:

EXT. RACE COURSE – DAY

The racer is running like a rocket.

FADE OUT.
 
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Shouldn't that montage scene be a creative decision by the director and CGI department? You shouldn't have to write all of that. It seems that all you should write is that his adrenaline kicks in.
 
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Future_Screen: @indietalk ?
indietalk: Yes?
Hahaha.

Quality actually, you can't write anything about his andrenaline,
unless you show the andrenaline molecules kicking in using CGI :cool:

Future_Screen this is what I mean:

EXT. RACE STADIUM – DAY

The grand stands are full of people. Thousands of couples of eyes are focused on the athletes.
Time has stopped in the stadium, nothing is moving and nothing is heard.

RACE COURSE

The DARK-SKINNED RACER, male, 25, is on the course in perfect position, along with the other
professional athletes. There is no fear in his motionless, straight focused eyes, only a silent alertness,
like a lion behind a deer.

The moving REFEREE, male, 50, starts again the time in the stadium. He reaches his
position and stops there. His grey temples don't allow him to make unneeded movements or winces.
He holds his gun like he owns it, while he raises it up.

MONTAGE - INSIDE DARK-SKINNED RACER'S BODY

- The brain is activated and sends signals.
- The nerves forward them.
- The blood cells are racing through the veins.
- The heart beats heavily and faster.
- The eardrum is hit hard by a sudden and intense air oscillation after a GUNSHOT.
END MONTAGE

BACK TO RACE COURSE

In a fraction of a second, everything disappears from the dark-skinned racer's vision,
except the orange road and the white lines in front of him. Before the ECHO of the gunshot fades out,
he springs out of his position and starts running like a rocket.

The running road and lines, a messy fog all around, running STEPS and a fast BREATHING is his
whole word now. His whole body is shaking with every step and before the shaking stops, he throws
the other foot in front of him. Every muscle is moving while he tears apart the air with his indescribable speed.

It's been some seconds running like crazy. He moves slightly his eyes left and right. He sees no one.
A tired smile in his opened mouth is forming...

Ok you get the point. Describe a lot, but only what I see on screen.
I wrote it quicly, it might have stupid mistakes. Also my english are not so good.
 
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Mistake No1: I'm never showing the referee pressing the trigger of the pistol.
It would be interesting to post the mistakes . We could all learn a lot, I'm waiting :no::no:
 
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